Kids and teachers

[Pickle]

My son loves going to school (nursery, starts reception in Sept), and we're really pleased with how he's doing so far.

The one thing I've noticed - and perhaps I'm showing my age - is that the kids all get to call the teachers/classroom assistants by their first names. I have a few teacher friends at different schools who also encourage their first names to be used as well.

Thinking back to my time at primary school, I didn't KNOW the first names of any of my teachers - we always referred to them as Mrs Page, Mr Smith etc. Come to think of it, we were never allowed to use first names for any of our friend's parents either.

I can't help but feel that the kids don't show the same amount of respect to their teachers (and elders in general I guess) when allowed to show such familiarity?

Or am I just old and overthinking it?! :)

[Claire29]

I know when my son was in the nursery at heber the kids call the teachers by their first name but that changed as soon as they went into reception, and now son is in year 1 he has to call his teacher miss...... I wouldn't like it if he had to use his teachers first name, it just seems wrong!

[Ruth_Baldock]

When I worked in a secondary school, the kids called me 'Miss' because if they had called me 'Ruth' it would have made it even more difficult to get them to bloody listen to me (I was a mentee for a 15 y/o, and I had only just turned 20 at the time...). I don't like being called 'Ruth' in a school setting either, and think that 'Miss/Sir' is appropriate, personally...

[Moos]

I called my teachers Mr and Mrs, and think my son's school has the same system ... much more betterer.

Now, first names from kids' friends and for kids' friends' parents? Much tougher. I just can't bring myself to call myself Mrs. Moos to Moosling's pals, nor get him to call my friends by their surnames, though that's what I did as a child. I still hesitate to introduce my mother by her Christian name to my friends! (though that is a bit ridiculous)

The one time I did introduce someone to my son as Mr. - it was our CEO - he immediately said to my 3 year old "Hello Moosling, I'm Rob". Oh well..

I'm not sure the general erosion of the use of the surname in society is responsible for lack of manners or consideration, though. Mum wouldn't agree, I'm sure. What I do regret in English is the loss (OK, hundreds of years ago) is the dropping of the familiar 2nd person. Everyone is now 'you', wouldn't it be nice to be able to call your children, your friends or your lover by the more affectionate 'thou'.

[pebbles]

With Master Pebbles being at the same nursery as Master Pickle I do think it's a nursery thing, and I think that as soon as they go to reception they'll need to call them Miss ?, Mrs ? or Mr ? - I may be wrong obviously - if they don't i think i would be quite upset as I do feel it's a mark of respect.

My mother always introduced her friends as Mr & Mrs ? and all of them apart from 1 said "don't be silly, call me by my first name". I however don't really feel like an adult (33) so I always introduce my friends by their first names. My mothers friends however I introduce as Mr & Mrs and they then tell my son to call them by their first name - I think i'll always continue to do that??

I could never be called Mrs Pebbles to anyone, far too mature!!!

[sillywoman]

Same as everyone else has said. Sillykids called nursery teachers by their first name, but all their school teachers are known by their title and surname from reception onwards.

[crystal7]

I know of a few primary schools in Southwark that use first names for all staff, I teach in one of them. To me it doesn't feel any different from working in school that uses Mr/Mrs (which I have also done).

[mumra]

I have worked in schools where I have been first name and ones where they have used surnames. Makes no difference to the amount of respect you get, children respect good teachers irrespective of title. Sometimes it is better for a school to have one blanket policy as often you get cases where the teacher has a title but the teaching assistant is on first name terms.

[Pickle]

OK, so hopefully when he starts reception it will change. I don't mind, per se, it's just something that's been nagging at the back of my mind when he chats away about his teachers like they're his best buddies rather than an adult to be shown respect.

I agree Pebbles, I think I would find it hard not to giggle if someone introduced me as Mrs Pickle, despite being well and truly old enough :))

When I'm home in NZ I still call my parent's friends, and my friend's parents, Mr and Mrs! It just wouldn't seem right to use their first names, even though I'm officially a "grown up".

[clux]

At my daughter's school the teachers decide if they want to be known by their first name or by Mr/Miss/Mrs. I would much prefer them to be Miss X and Mr Y but most teachers there seem to like to be called by their first name only.