Advice Needed - Getting toddler to sleep in her own bed

[louise.flynn]

Hi,

My daughter is almost 3 and has generally been a good sleeper. However, my husband has been working long hours and frequently working away for the last 6 weeks and her sleep has really changed. Most nights she will go to her own bed but will get up every 15 minutes with various excuses and asking to sleep in my bed. I have given in out of frustration in the past and let her sleep in my bed (it doesn't seem to matter whether i am in bed next to her or not).

She also shares a room with her 1 year old brother and after a few attempts to get up and when i have put her back in her own bed, she starts to disturb him.

If she does manage to sleep in her bed she will often wake early and creep into bed besides me. I have returned to work part time recently and that might be having an impact.

I have tried being firm, i have tried being understanding but its still happening... (fyi, when my husband or my parents put her to bed she sometimes fusses but is generally better.. however i am on my own most of the time so i need to sort it out myself).

Any advice / anyone who has been through something similar?

Louise

[alex_b]

We bought a gro-clock and found that to an this has calmed down the night time visits from our 3 year old. It's not perfect but it helps provide a clear way of communicating that it's night time and he should be in his bed.

Also does she still nap during the day? We found that stopping the afternoon nap around three years old gave better sleep at night.

[lucylui]

Hi,

It does sound like you've tried a lot of things, We may be able to help you with this, at www.totalpickle.com we are certified sleep consultants and have some techniques which may help your daughter sleep in her own bed through the night. We also look at the day time routine as we often find this can effect your child's sleep pattern at night. All our plans are personalised for your individual situation.

Kate

[Growlybear]

My daughter went through a long period of waking in the night and coming into our bed when she was about 3. People told me that I should be getting her to stay in her own bed, and I persevered for a while. Then I thought seriously about whether it mattered if she came in with us in the night, and really couldn't think of any reason why I should make her sleep alone if she didn't want to. I decided it really wasn't worth the stress to her or me trying to get her to go back to her own bed at 3 in the morning when she could just go back to sleep in our bed. I assumed that she would start sleeping the night in her own bed when she was ready, which of course she did eventually. I think it's too easy to listen to what other people think you should be doing with different milestones; I got myself so stressed with people offering their opinions about what my daughter should be doing when, and once I learnt to ignore them and stop making comparisons with other people's children, life was much easier!

[SLad]

reward chart helped us when our daughter had this phase.

[louise.flynn]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Will try gro clock/reward chart but also try not to stress about it so much!

[scareyt]

I would echo growlybear?s comment. As long as there is enough space and you can get back to sleep comfortably with her there I wouldn?t worry about it. My son age 7 very occasionally still comes into our bed if he?s had a bad dream. I don?t sleep well when he?s there so I just go sleep in his bed instead. My husband gets a surprise in the morning when he wakes up to a different face next to him but we all get enough sleep and nothing else really matters.

[Angelina]

It's a fact people (of all ages) sleep better when they sleep with somebody.

Let her sleep with you - why do you discount this as an option for her?

[Eastdulwich27]

We have the same problem with our 2 year old we put him to bed at 8 he doesn't sleep untill 9 sometimes 10 latest when he does go down he wakes up at 1.30 sometimes 2 and doesn't go down sometimes till 4/4.30 we have also tried being firm but it didn't work, so now we have decided to just pick him up and bring him into our bed its really hard but we don't know what else to do and we both work from 9 so sometimes we are going to work with little sleep lately we have had to resort to some soothing music from youtube maybe try that. Hope it helps

[Saffron]

We ended up making a little nest out of spare duvets and pillows on the floor next to our bed. Little Saff would happily sleep there. You could even get a little mattress, like a cotbed mattress. That way everyone gets sleep. As far as I can tell, there are no teenagers begging for a little nest next to their parents' bed, so they all outgrow it eventually. xx