What would you have done?

[Mellors]

This thread reminds me why I never, ever get public transport with the children.

I even detest it on my own. L'enfer c'est les autres and all that jazz....

[Fuschia]

I usually avoid it but parking at kings alone And managing three children wasn't very enticing either

[Saffron]

Mellors, consider yourself very blessed if you are able to always have private options for transport available for your children! xx

[intexasatthe moment]

Returning to orginal question - what would you have done ?

Said nothing ,why bother ?

Sometimes it's not all about finding the " right answer " or even proving that you're in the right .

[Fuschia]

I'm not saying it is!

I wondered if I had been a bit wimpish to apologise

But actually my normal reaction to someone complaining at me IS to say sorry... Hence my surprise that mr Lego land didn't adopt that approach...

[intexasatthe moment]

I was just responding to the bus thread .

Still think saying nothing is best way forward .

[jollybaby]

Saffron Wrote:

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> Mellors, consider yourself very blessed if you are

> able to always have private options for transport

> available for your children! xx

I've got an image of mellors driving round with her brood in a limousine now!

[Fuschia]

intexasatthe moment Wrote:

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> I was just responding to the bus thread .

> Still think saying nothing is best way forward .

You would have ignored the bus man, not said sorry?

[intexasatthe moment]

Fuschia - it's too complicated isn't it ,trying to explain your position and thinking to this guy ?

Who knows what he has going on in his head and his life .

No I wouldn't have said sorry ,and I wouldn't have agonised over what I could/should have said .

[TE44]

I think it would depend on the sort of day I've had, there is always situations on buses when you travel with children in London, somedays its not important enough to give much thought to it. I cant imagine reacting the same way to similiar situations, attitudes etc because so often it depends on how the children are, tired, teething etc.

[new mother]

Obviously, young children are at risk and need to be stable so they ge a seat or squash up together. Older children stand.

SophieC, it is a question of respect for adults; that is why children should stand and adults sit.

Ruth, I would have said and, in fact, have said loudly, "I would have stood normally but obviously I cannot."

Then I would ask v politely a guy on his phone, for example, as if he hadn't noticed to give uphis seat. It works every time, admittedly about twice. The guys were as nice as anything and felt big about it.

Fuschia, I would have ignored it. He is bonkers or else trying to point out others' perfidy. Either way, with three children on a bus, you don't want to be part of it.

Mellors, I think you are trying to be ironic but it didn't quite come off.

[Fuschia]

I am probably too polite!

I felt really bad about it at first but then I looked at all the other people sitting down and thought ... Hang on!!

[apenn]

Funny that I should see this thread today. On my way home from work, the bus was quite crowded. I'm quite obviously pregnany at 25 weeks. No one offered me a seat - but I actually found what happened next quite humourous.

There was a group of young men, early 20s on the bus, one of whom was sitting in one of the front seats. Standing next to me was a perfectly able-bodied (as far as I could see) young woman in her 20s talking on her phone. She paused from her conversation, and asked the man to giver her his seat because she had "all this," indicating her handbag and 2 small plastic gocercy bags with shopping in them! I might add that she was standing directly across from the luggage area in which there was adequate space for her 2 bags. The man immediately got up for her. I just smiled and practically laughed out loud of the audacity of it while standing there, pregnant as could be . . .

Anyway Fuschia, as some others have commented, I probably wouldn't have said anything at the time, but regretted it afterward and lay in bed that night thinking about lots of great one-liners I could have thrown at him.

[Izodia]

Apenn, I'm also 25 weeks pregnant and I'm learning that there's a couple of morals to your tale.

1) We might feel like big whales already, but it's not always so obvious to others.

Only this morning a woman nervously offered me her seat. As I sat down she admitted with a sigh of relief that she was pleased she'd got it right and not offended someone who was overweight.

2) We need to ask for seats if we really want one.

If the guy was happy to give up his seat for a woman with bags when she asked, he would have probably given it to you too if you'd stuck your belly out and asked. I haven't yet built up the nerve to start doing this yet (much to my husbands annoyance) so I can't really talk. And sometimes I honestly believe they just haven't noticed us. Maybe I'm very naive!

[Otta]

I wish ladies would ask more.

I usually have headphones in, and my head in a book or looking at phone, so I am oblivious to what is happening around me. I am always more than happy to get up if I get a tap on the shoulder.

[Mellors]

new mother Wrote:

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.

>

> Mellors, I think you are trying to be ironic but

> it didn't quite come off.

Not at all, I am being serious. I don't do public transport ever, if at all possible. I will always try to work out another route. I mainly drive, or walk, or avoid going. Three under 5s + busy bus = hell on earth.

[new mother]

I think it was the Sartre that misled me.

[apenn]

Didn't meant to hijack threat into a conversation about bus etiquett and pregnant ladies. I'm sure that one has been done before. However, to clarify, I had no issue with the man who got up. If I had really wanted the seat I could have asked but I knew it would clear out in a couple of stops. And yes, while at 25 weeks it can still be questionable whether some women are pregnant, I am fairly petite and was looking quite pregnant that day due to a maternity blouse that really accentuates the bump. Anyway, my point was really about audacity of the selfish young woman. Then again, credit to her I suppose - you don't get if you don't ask! I just found the whole situation amusing - felt like something from Curb Your Enthusiasm. Fuschia's situation was clearly not [amusing].