Everyday, neighbour screams at their child

[kaplank]

Hey everyone.

Unsure what to do. Our neighbours have a child and every day for the past week (happens 2-3 times a week usually) the child next door gets in trouble and the mother yells at them whilst they cry/scream.

It's extremely noisy for us, usually lasts a couple of hours and I can only imagine that it's not a positive experience for the mum or the child.

Not sure what to do, or what I can do. Obviously concerned for the family, also want to not have to use noise-cancelling headphones to relax in my own apartment.

[Sally Eva]

Shouting screaming and crying should not last a couple of hours. Sounds as if this mother is under too much stress whatever the reason may be.

Try talking sympathetically to her to establish what the problem is and then that will help you decide what to do next.

[hpsaucey]

Personally I would call NSPCC helpline. You can do so anonymously. They have the expertise and sensitivity to deal with situations like this.

HP

[lavender27]

Afew years ago I heard my neighbours shouting and knocked on the door and gave them a jar of jam, there was no noise after that.

[tiddles]

I think the nspcc idea is the best route

[Jules-and-Boo]

I hope the family get the support they need - sadly, you can't be too careful.

[Elphinstone's Army]

lavender27 Wrote:

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> Afew years ago I heard my neighbours shouting and

> knocked on the door and gave them a jar of jam,

> there was no noise after that.

omg Lavender what are you saying? did it have an 'undertaste' ? - possibly of bitter almonds? was it laburnam jam?

[Elphinstone's Army]

lavender27 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Afew years ago I heard my neighbours shouting and

> knocked on the door and gave them a jar of jam,

> there was no noise after that.

[lavender27]

Elphinstone's Army Wrote:

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> lavender27 Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Afew years ago I heard my neighbours shouting

> and

> > knocked on the door and gave them a jar of jam,

> > there was no noise after that.

>

> omg Lavender what are you saying? did it have an

> 'undertaste' ? - possibly of bitter almonds? was

> it laburnam jam?

No Elph, what are you saying, what do you think I am, no it wasn't anything of the sort, it was an olive branch in the form of a real jar of jam. Shouting and screaming at each other usually means your belly is hungry and lacking something.

[hpsaucey]

NSPCC link here giving email and confidential phone line number:

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-you-can-do/report-abuse/

tel:0808 800 5000

Says ?Don't wait until you're certain if you are worried about a child. If you have any concerns or suspicions, contact our free helpline service to speak to an NSPCC counsellor 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

We will listen to your concerns, offer advice and support and can take action on your behalf if a child is in danger.

You don?t have to tell us who you are if you don?t want to, or you can ask us not to share your name or contact with the police or social services. Find out more about how you can remain anonymous below.?

[TE44]

Please, if this woman is approachable, let her know your concerns, communities cannot be built when you can't communicate. How long has this been going on?

I was in a similiar situation with a neighbour years ago, on enquiring it turned out the child had night terrors, it was taking its toll on the mother. As you do not know what the situation is maybe you should ask yourself, do you care enough to maybe even be able to help or are you more concerned your peace is being intruded,

[siousxiesue]

I once took a lift in a high rise with a mum/toddler and she was verbally abusive, towards the child, not even hiding it from me. At the time I was working with a council agency and reported it. One incident but if that happened in public, who knows about behind closed doors...

[bodsier]

Do you have a relationship with your neighbour? Sounds like they are literally next door or above/below you? If you don't have that kind of relationship Then she is likely to be guarded and not discuss and to ask questions would come across as prying if you were to engage with her now. Also if you followed it up with a call of concern to the NSPCC she would No doubt suspect it was you. If this is the case, then perhaps it's best to get in touch with them. 2 hours is a long time for the child or mother to be screaming/crying. It doesn't sound good.

I lived below a similar situation, it was a borderline situation, but I felt uncomfortable with what I heard. I was very unwell and vulnerable at the time, and did nothing, I regret that..

[TE44]

Any update on this child, has the shouting continued

daily or returned to 2-3 times a week. I realise op may not use edf often, being a first poster, but in a post where the welfare of a child and mother is being discussed, some acknowledgement, even if op does not wish to say what action, if any, was taken.

[Mick Mac]

TE44 Wrote:

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As you do not know what the situation is

> maybe you should ask yourself, do you care enough

> to maybe even be able to help or are you more

> concerned your peace is being intruded,

For me, this is the correct approach. Ask them first if they are aware of the noise they are creating and ask if everything is ok as a first step. Then NSPCC if not satisfied with response.

[TE44]

I agree, mick mac, i would have to raise concerns with family. I have read many threads on here in the family room of terrible tantrums, parents struggling to cope with there childrens behaviour, where much understanding and good advice has been giving. The op may or may not have children, which i believe may

make it harder to understand if they don't, but then again when op says "ours" it may be a referal to children as well. I think anyone thinking of reporting a situation , (I am aware this was advice and not from the op) should maybe try to see the situation from the

other perspective, which would be very hard to do without communication.

[hpsaucey]

TE44 Wrote:

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> I agree, mick mac, i would have to raise concerns

> with family. I have read many threads on here in

> the family room of terrible tantrums, parents

> struggling to cope with there childrens behaviour,

> where much understanding and good advice has been

> giving. The op may or may not have children, which

> i believe may

> make it harder to understand if they don't, but

> then again when op says "ours" it may be a referal

> to children as well. I think anyone thinking of

> reporting a situation , (I am aware this was

> advice and not from the op) should maybe try to

> see the situation from the

> other perspective, which would be very hard to do

> without communication.

Except that perhaps a judgement of the situation needs an objective (ie not in the situation)professional/ the OP has to feel safe / comfortable approaching the family. That is the judgement of the OP.

[TE44]

Yes hpsaucey, I would imagine the op would have to feel safe and comfortable approaching the family, although there is no mention of how op feels about this nor any idea to the childs age, or any information

regarding ops neighbour. I can't help but see similiarities with the neighbours situation (I am aware

we can only assume) and many posts I have read on here, where mothers are struggling to cope with there childs behaviour. I also can't help wondering if the mother has anyone who can give her support like what is often given on this forum.

[Mick Mac]

I do find it disappointing when people ask for advice of this nature, but don't take the time to feed back that it has been in any way resolved. Leaves me and probably others a bit worried about the child.

[TE44]

Hit it on the head mick mac.

[stringvest]

Any news??????? We had noisy argumentative neighbours, constantly screaming and arguing, children crying, doors slamming, we feared for the kids. They were not approachable - if we asked if they was ok or what all the noise was about we got told to F off. One day it was going on the same, I called the police, the eldest child was taken away and the mother and baby put in a special unit. Good luck.