Called the police

[Fuschia]

As I was in the little park in the Lordship Lane estate and there was a small child there (aged 4) without his parents

At least the police came to take him home and see what was going on

It is really preying on my mind though

Anything could have happened to him

[helena handbasket]

His mother must be having a heart attack, I hope they were re-united.

My son let himself out of the house while I was in the shower once. Came down to find the front door wide open and no boy.

Happy ending, hopefully today as well.

[Fuschia]

You misunderstand me... other mums said he gets sent out alone to play

[Fuschia]

Is really haunting me

How can someone send their small child out alone like that

[Mellors]

Oh my goodness - I also assumed he had diappeared and the mother was frantic.

My then 3 year old once slipped out of the picnic area in Peckham Rye whilst I was dealing with the youngest and it was the worst time of my life whilst everyone was trying to find him. It makes my blood run cold just to think about it.

I really don't understand how somebody could send such a young child out on their own, and so near the main road as well :(

[Otta]

Perhaps he can be seen from their balcony. Not saying that is great, but not as bad as just sending him off and out of sight.

[helena handbasket]

I did misunderstand. Letting a four year old out alone in the middle of London is not cool.

Mellors it's the roads that scare me too. My son often wears a sticker with my mobile number when we go in crowds and such because it takes two seconds to lose them, and I need to believe most people who find him will call. But there's nothing you can do about roads. Four year olds are not really known for their decision making skills.

Hope they can work with the mother.

[Ruth_Baldock]

HH, I had been worrying about my eldest running off when his sister arrives, what if were at the park and I have to bf her or whatever, and what would I do, but your sticker idea is ingenius. I will be doing this for sure, he's a right escape artist- has opened our front door before whilst calling "bye! Seb go!" and once ran off in Westfield with my husband. Argh.

Fuschia, that would upset me too. I think you did the right thing.

[Pickle]

My friends took their little girl to a festival when she was about 2.5... she was notorious for peeling stickers off so they wrote their mobile numbers on both arms and both legs in felt pen just in case :))

[helena handbasket]

Hi Ruth, yes it gives me peace of mind. I don't put any names or anything (that whole "stranger danger" bit) just "if I'm alone please call 0000 000 0000". I use those party name tags but masking tape has been worked just as well in a pinch!

[Moos]

I haven't used it yet but I hear the back of the neck is a good place to sticker. Had a real frisson of fear at the Belair Park fair in the thick crowd with v excited and fast sprog holding my hand.

[helena handbasket]

Hmmm, don't think my son would go for the neck. Luckily he's at the age now where I tell him where the sticker is (usually just on his shirt though) and if he's lost, go to the mum with a stroller if there is one and show her. Obviously it's not fool proof but it's something. Hopefully he doesn't get more lost looking for a mum!

[helena handbasket]

That's a good idea too. Two is so hard when they can't understand or articulate. We had tags for my son's zipper pull, can't remember the company, but it just has a phone number and then an identity number. The person who finds your child calls the company and then the company calls you.

The tag was always on the wrong jacket though! I think they also do wrist bands, which is a great idea for that age.

I don't know why we don't all just have a GPS bracelet for them!

Pickle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> My friends took their little girl to a festival

> when she was about 2.5... she was notorious for

> peeling stickers off so they wrote their mobile

> numbers on both arms and both legs in felt pen

> just in case :))

[Otta]

Whilst in the park with my daughter the other day, my wife called me. Whilst getting my phone out of my picket, I lost sight of her. I soon found her, but the absolute dread that hits you is incredible!

[helena handbasket]

Otta Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Whilst in the park with my daughter the other day,

> my wife called me. Whilst getting my phone out of

> my picket, I lost sight of her. I soon found her,

> but the absolute dread that hits you is

> incredible!

And you never forget that feeling.

[snowboarder]

I want gps for my little boy too. He has escaped out of our front door, and the door then slammed shut on him - I was hanging out washing and couldn't work out where he was shouting from. OUr front door opens directly onto the street... He's such an escape artist that there is NO way I will feed the baby whilst out unless we are with someone else, or he is imprisoned in a high chair. Never understand why people think the picnic bit of peckham rye is good - the gates are easily openable. In fact there is nowhere I think is enclosed enough for him....maybe sunray gardens?

Like the felt tip marker idea. Think it would annoy him though...

[JessB]

I don't feed the baby whilst out and abouy with toddler unless we're with friends, which we usually are and that is carefully arranged by me! 2.5yo runs.about causing mayhem so I have to be on full alert. Luckily he will wear reins or toddler backpack so i can keep a hold while pushing pram and even while he is on the buggyboard in.case he decides just to step off by busy road!

Sunray is best enclosed, can see all areas, park I know of.

Right thing to ddo fuschia I think

Jess

[nunheadmum]

I found a little girl on LL, by the corner of the Curry Cabin a few months ago. I couldn't see any adult and she was a bit too young to really tell me much. I was on the brink of calling the police - didn't want to over-react, but... - when she started running back down the side street. I followed her back to make sure she was going home (not just running away from me).

Turned out she'd run out an open front door to go and look for her daddy who was out shopping. The mum didn't seem that concerned when I said where the daughter had been. It haunted me for days, worrying that I hadn't been clear where the girl was or that she was allowed out that far on her own. I imagine in reality the mum probably had a 'OMG' moment once I'd gone....she looked like a standard, concerned parent. But it really preyed on my mind.

[citizenED]

I want to put a slightly different angle on this. The little playground mentioned in the original post is very different to Goose Green playground or the one inside Dulwich Park. I go there frequently with my two. The thing that strikes me is how many kids are there without a parent. They are often there with older siblings, cousins and friends. I have seen quite young children seemingly there alone but then in essence it is basically the back garden for the flats on the Lordship Lane Estate. Lots of the flats overlook the playground. Sometimes I feel quite odd as I sit in there with my two as I am the only adult in the kids playground.

Now I am not saying it is right that a four year old is let out alone. The idea naturally seems to make our middle-class sensibilities uneasy. But there is something reassuring about a children's playground full of kids and not adults.

[Fuschia]

Citizened

I wS discussing it with a senior social worker friend ( in fact I called for advice before ringing 999)

I don't know at what age I would let my child out to play with older children if I lived in those flats or a quiet cul de sac

Maybe 8 or 9? ( my partner wouldn't even consider it until older)

But I really don't think a 4 yo should be out alone

Risk of injury

Cars

And when a child is regularly out by themselves it's exactly the situation where they can fall prey to A premeditated attack

Anyway, I feel that the police will gave dealt with it, social services will bs awRe and if there are other grounds for concern then this incident will be added to the record

I felt really worried about that little boy, both then and since

[Fuschia]

And I am afrId it's not like thd garden of the flats

A garden is enclosed without traffic, strangers etc and you can hear your child if they scream

[chantelle]

i don't really know the layout of the olay area in question, but this sort of issue - at what age is safe to play out - always seems to be very controversial. like many adults today, i grew up playing out on my own in my neighbourhood from around 5 or 6 so I'm not so immediately shocked by the idea of a four year old probably within sight of his flat. there are lots of dangers out there but the chances of a child falling foul of any of them are extremely slim.

unfortunately our fear mentality these days means children have fewer opportunities to play outside at all (since there isn't always someone available to supervise) and to assert their independence.

i'm not saying it was wrong to call the police, it was probably very wise, but just commenting that there's not always a black and white answer to these questions and concerns.

[Fuschia]

The tragic incident with the three year old killed by s delivery van was only s short distance away

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1242671/Careless-delivery-driver-accused-running-killing-year-old-girl.html

I am afraid a pre schooler just cannot be considered Safe playing alone in an area where there is traffic

[Otta]

I'm not clear which playground it is. The one I thought it was is not effected by traffic. It's just to the left of that path that runs between the estate and the park.

[teddybear]

Just to clarify the little girl was not playing out as the Daily Mail had reported. Her family were leaving the house to go to the park.

The park on the estate is not near traffic but he is a little boy that could easily leave the park or be taken by a stranger.