Jump to content

Recommended Posts

BEST blonde joke so far in 2011.......


A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from Blackpool when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to Blackpool ?"


"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Blackpool Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you ?100 for your trouble."


"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.


Five hours later, the truck driver was driving along the Sea Front of Blackpool when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blond. What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you ?100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."


"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/19650-please-help/
Share on other sites

This is my favourite:


A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.


In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair...given that you are blind...that you should know five things:


1. The bartender is a blonde girl.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 220 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.


Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"


The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares...


"Nah. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/19650-please-help/#findComment-476111
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Hello my name is Kat and I’m currently training in Solution Focused Clinical Hypnotherapy with CPHT London, and I’m offering free online hypnotherapy sessions as part of my professional training.  This is a safe, modern, and well-researched approach that helps people break free from the negative cycles of anxiety, low mood, and stress, and move toward calm, confidence, and lasting positive change. I’m studying CPHT’s accredited training, led by experienced, practising hypnotherapists, which is widely recognised as the UK's gold standard in Solution Focused Hypnotherapy. Over my training, I’ve already seen great results, and I’m now looking for volunteers who may benefit from support with 🌿 Anxiety and low mood (including stress, sleep issues, or IBS) What’s included: 💫 A full course of free weekly sessions (typically 8–12 weeks) 💫 Insight into how your brain works, and how to work with it 💫 Practical tools to feel calmer, more confident, and in control What’s required: ✔️ Commitment to weekly sessions ✔️ A stable internet connection for online sessions I have an enhanced DBS check and am a student member of the National Council for Hypnotherapy and the Association for Solution Focussed Hypnotherapy. If you’d like to take part or have any questions, please send me a direct message to book an initial consultation. I’d love to hear from you Warmest Kat
    • If this is approved BT will probably apply to remove the phone box. These cost far more than they earn and are very vulnerable to vandelism. The old phone boxes are not ideal to become WiFi hubs, and will need the same level of engineering work to convert (they will be connected over copper). And they don't offer the advertising opportunity which pays for the free WiFi. 
    • They're big and ugly electronic advertising boards. There's a shagged out phone box across the road that could do the same thing!
    • does seem to take up a width of the pavement that could be better used (i.e. we have to walk around it)  and I'm not sure we need advertising on the pavements. Perhaps there are benefit's I don't know of.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...