Feeling sad about my kids growing up

[anna_r]

Just feeling a bit weepy about my two (aged only 2.5 and 1) getting older and wondered how often others feel this. Most of the time I look forward to the future, enjoy seeing them learning new things etc. But today feels like the end of an era. Our lovely nanny (of two years) has just left to go on maternity leave and it's making me think about how much my little girls have changed since she's been here. I put together a photo book for her and going back over all the thousands of photos makes me both happy and tearful. We're having loads of fun, but I'm sad about them growing up! Cheer me up family room :) The bonkers parents thread is working quite well, I have to say...just don't tell me the only answer is more babies :) xx

[bluesuperted]

Ahhhhh Anna! Big hugs to you and your lovely girls. Don't get me started, you know what I'm like and I'm (fingers crossed) only on my first of a few...

Don't read the music thread!!!

Get the photo book was gorgeous, what a lovely thought :) xxx

[snowboarder]

Gah I'm feeling this and youngest is only 7m!! I know what you mean - I see families with 2 little boys aged say 4 and 6 and see what fun they're having riding bikes together etc and doing all the stuff we can't because they are too young - and I really look forward to thinking about something other than naps etc....but still...

[Pickle]

I know how you feel. Now that my oldest has started school I notice it even more - all of a sudden I've lost a degree of "control" over my little boy and he's learning all sorts of new things that I'm not really involved in. It's an exciting time, don't get me wrong, but scary how quickly the time goes. Same for my daughter who is now in school nursery - it's hard to call her my baby when I see her all dressed up in her uniform.

My solution is to have another one ;-)

[vesti]

Just enjoy them. They grow up - that's what happens. I have loved seeing mine develop into their own, independent people. I think you have to embrace every stage not regret the ones that are no longer. Long for something that used to be and you miss the amazing stuff that's happening now.

Look forward to having real conversations with them and sharing laughs, having them have different opinions to you and hearing them defend their views, to re experiencing and remembering your own experiences growing up, to them making you a cup of tea and feeling proud of it, to being able to share after 9pm Tv programmes, to visiting them at Uni, to going to the pub with them and having them buy the drinks from money they've earnt, ...

Loads and loads to look forward to with them.

I have(much) older kids,of course they're not my babies now, they are their own people and I feel very fortunate to know them and to be able to look back on their growing up and to have a share in their lives. It's a bit corny but they continue to enrich my life, much more so in different ways now they're older and more our equals - they challenge me , bring different perspectives, introduce me to things and people... (and i still get cuddles! And not that we haven't had a lot of rocky , challenging patches along the way!!)

[Lochie]

Motherhood has really taught me to live in the moment. I frequently find myself wanting to press the 'pause' button at particular magical moments and I've never had that before, desperately wanting time to just stop. And I feel so blessed that I feel like that, having previously been a person who always plans for the future (though obvs don't feel like that when woken at 3 in the morning to shrieks of 'BEEBIES' or when having my arms scratched and pinched to high heaven by the worlds strongest man child). So I guess the key is as long as you are living in the now then you are making the very most of being a mum and will never have any regrets. Plus its sooooo fun looking over those photos of the different stages and just think one day your babes will be animated enough to enjoy looking at them as much as you do!

...and of course you have time on your side to have a third or forth should the urge overtake you! ;-)

[Smiler]

aaah, what a nice thread. Words of wisdom. vesti, it's v nice to hear about all of the good things ahead.

I sometimes feel exactly like Lochie, just want to press pause, but (more of the time) I can't wait until the little one is close to the age of my eldest when (we hope) life may become more civilised. Sleep is the big thing: it's hard to enjoy the moment when you just want to be unconscious!

My solution is not to have another, it's to get everyone else to have babies and then cuddle them and give'em back! Or hang out at places with lots of newborns and harrassed new mums who are desperate for a break (more cuddling opportunities) .

[Moos]

Post of the year, vesti. Thank you.

[Belle]

Def think there is something to be said for living in the moment - my mum always says 'don't wish your life away', good advice. I tend to be always thinking 'this will be easier when he can do x or is y age' but of course there are so many positives to whatever the current age is, that it's important to celebrate them at the time.

But anna, having just had my second baby and seeing my first transform from 'my baby' to a suddenly grown up and seemingly massive 2.8yr old in comparison, I do totally understand the emotion at realising the time is passing so quickly!

[ontheedge]

Wonderful post vesti, seeing your chidren as independent beings with obviously a warm attachment to you, rather than being attachments to your personality.