How best to tell kids Father Xmas isn't real?

[macaroni]

Dear Reader, not quite at the stage yet but fast approaching as 6 year old doubting tooth fairy and hasn't even got a wobbly one! Big Boy of 8 however using up all my imaginative resources on this one and I'm dreading the heart break moment. I am an only child and maybe rather naive but I still believed around 11, by 12 it was gone. Any advice? Was he a philanthropist, well yes he is, but where did the myth originate from? Every year the carrot and sherry is put out, the glitter at the door and chimney, even furniture re-arranged. I tell them the elves are tiny folk all over the place we can't see, watching out if they are good or not, they might even know about the cooked fish one pretended to eat and hid in the trouser pocket, thank God I load the machine daily!What about your own stories? What was the best present ever, or worst?

[prickle]

hmmmm? I don't think you need to sit your child down and tell them the bad news. My 10 yr old 'knew' it was all a big fat story a good few years ago (via older sibling and others). An unexpected side to this is that she has given me a v. hard time about us 'lying' to her for so many years and she has a point, perhaps not a good example to set?

Incidentally she still firmly believes in the tooth fairy as the fairy is rather generous and writes witty notes. ie kids believe what they like and what works to their advantage!

[Fuschia]

We have an elf who lives in our chimney and sends long and amusing letters on a regular basis

[hellosailor]

To get around the fact that some kids would tell us 'my mum/dad says father christmas isn't real..or ...'we've seen them putting our stockings out'...or...'mum admitted she does our stockings..' etc, our mum always told us that Father Christmas only went to houses that believed in him, and that those kids who were saying he didn't visit their house and that their parents filled their stockings were right, he didn't go to their houses, because why would he bother going to houses where the parents were doing stockings when he was so busy delivering to the kids who did believe in him and whose parents weren't going to be doing stockings etc.

Worked like a charm, we believed for years after our friends did and were never alerted to the truth by friends who knew it wasn't true, as we just felt sorry for them for missing out on the real Father Christmas by having non-believing parents! (I'm a little embarrassed to admit!)

[Fuschia]

Hellosilaor, we have told ours the same!

[hellosailor]

Genius isn't it!

Sadly less genius was my mum giving us a carrier bag each to put our stocking presents in to take to bed with us at the end of the day rather than leaving them scattered all over the floor, and one fateful year not realising that at the bottom of my carrier bag was the receipt for said stocking presents...a very sad moment. I remember rushing into my twin brother's room brandishing the receipt as the terrible realisation hit me, and us rushing upstairs to confront mum, who was mortified...we had been so completely sold on her story, with no suspicions at all well beyond the age that our peers had ceased to believe, that she said she literally thought we would believe until we went to university. I have to say, I think she's right, I was no where near starting to doubt it, and though I can't remember our exact age, I do know we were at secondary school.:-$

[The Nappy Lady]

In the Summer my friends were having drinks in a garden centre cafe & her children (6 & 9) pointed out to her a stout man in jeans & a t-shirt with a White beard at another table saying it looked like F Christmas.

He clearly noticed, and when he got up to leave passed their table, tapped his nose & said 'Yes, it is' and handed their mum a business card that was simply a photo of him dressed as FC with the slogan 'I'm always watching' on the back - no contact details or anything.

He walked away & the children sat like goldfish for 10 mins!!!!!

I love this man, whoever he is.

I remember when I realised it was all a big lie, but went along with it anyway so as not to hurt my parents feelings!!! Hoping our eldest will play along for the sake of her little sister.

[Pickle]

I think I realised about age 8 when I peeked out my bedroom window on Christmas Eve to see my Dad walking up the driveway carrying the canoe that I was told Santa had delivered the next morning :) The following year I heard "Santa" muttering away under his breath on Christmas Eve attempting to assemble a trampoline...

My brother and I kept up the pretense for years for the benefit of our younger sister (10 years younger than me) which was great fun - we used to get really carried away writing her notes from Santa, leaving footprints etc. I think she ended up pretending to believe until she was about 16 just so she could see what else we'd come up with!

[david_carnell]

If Father Christmas is reading this.....I want a canoe for Xmas too! Awesome gift.

Not sure when I stopped believing, about 8 I think, but my parents never went to great efforts. In fact we didn't have a fireplace so they used to tell me they just left the front door unlocked so FC could get in. Sort of ruined the magic.

[MummaB]

Can't really help....I had the complete opposite, my 5 year old turned around when he saw 'Father Christmas' at a fair last year and said

"what?! Santa is real?"

:)

[sillywoman]

I'm still denying all challenges to the "Father Christmas is real" myth. It's the cause of a lot of mirth & "ohh Muuum" type sighing & shoulder shrugging among my older children. I'll never admit otherwise, I don't see the need - they work out what they need to know in their own good time. I'm their Mum if I can't maintain the myth of a little bit of good magic in their world then who can? I intend to go to my grave declaring the existance of FC! ;-)

[tiddles]

yes always tricky - especially when some friend's older sibling likes to spill the beans. I found the best way was not to enter into any discussion (top parenting tip!) and like hello sailor, said that I really didn't know what went on in other houses, but Santa certainly visited ours! end of story, and they rather liked to quietly believe for a bit longer.

[givemecake]

Nappy Lady, that is the most wonderful story!

When I started to doubt my mum made me watch Miracle on 34th St (the oringinal version!) which still makes me believe in Christmas magic...

[Mrs TP]

I told my 10yr old I needed her Christmas list the other night as I was going to phone Santa. She replied 'you mean you are going to do some online shopping?'.

Almost busted but quick as a flash I responded that in these hard times I had heard Santa was putting in some shifts at Amazon to earn some extra cash seeing as he normally only works one day a year.

Phew ... think I got away with that one - NOT!

[macaroni]

These tales are great, I've been crying with joy.I will definitely use the one about real believers getting THE VISIT and non believers are to be pitied a bit.

[JDR]

I'm a bit of an avid 'pinterest' fan and came across this letter a mum wrote. Its a bit corny and american for me but still brought a tear...

http://www.cozi.com/live-simply/truth-about-santa

Have 'pinned' it for future reference when the fateful question comes...

[hellosailor]

I really like that mum's reply JDR, and having read it will probably go down the same route years from now when I have to come clean!

[sillywoman]

Now why, oh why did that letter make me cry?! Having children has really turned me into such a cry baby - it's so frustrating!

Still, I've C&P's it for future reference. Should the need arise ;)