Pulling eyelids

[Beagle]

I wonder if anyone has any experience of a toddler pulling their eyelids when tired or falling asleep. It does appear to be the actual lid rather than the lashes.

15 month old daughter has started doing this in the past few weeks but is doing it more and more often. She has always looked for skin to skin contact when having her before bed bottle and this usually involves touching, pinching and scratching whatever skin she can reach on me but this has now extended to her own eye lids and knowing how aggressively she scratches me I am worried she is as rough with her own self.

If she wakes at night the ritual continues, I have marks across my chest and neck today and short of wearing a polo neck to bed don?t know what to do! Her other habit is chomping down on my collarbone. She also pulls her lids during the day when sleepy.

The only trigger I can recall is that she was given a present of a doll with eyelids that closed and opened and against my own judgement I allowed her to play with it, this started a fascination with eyes, poking mine, trying to pull the eyelid and then she started on her own.

Doll is consigned to a cupboard but I am getting quite concerned that she will start pulling out her lashes, which from the reading I have done is a more serious issue.

I did mention the scratching and pinching to the health visitor recently who just murmured skin to skin and said nothing more, but think I do need to follow up about the eyelids specifically this week, in the meantime has anyone any practical suggestions. I thought maybe tying a short length of ribbon to her sleep bag that she can touch might provide the tactile sensation she is looking for. Trying to distract her with her soft toy isn?t working and I can hardly pin her hands down which will only distress us both.

In magnificent hindsight I know I should have nipped the pinching months ago. Hum ho . . .

If anyone can point me towards any practical advice or has any to offer I would be grateful as I am worried about her.

[buggie]

No advice, but Bugglet (who's pretty much same age) does the same occasionally, hasn't pulled any eyelashes out though, she also pulls at her hair - not so hard to pull it out but hard enough that she must feel it.

She hasn't got any dolls (only teddies/penguins etc) so hasn't "played" with eyelashes... Guessed (as with most things!) that it's a phase while she susses out what the deal is with hair!

[BB100]

Can I ask why you stopped her playing with the doll? Children are naturally curious and her fascination with eyes in an early years setting would ordinarily be used to extend her learning. Prehaps treating her behaviour as a negative it has become a negative. It may be turned around to make it a positive by using it as an opportunity to teach her about faces and feelings. For example, by giving her the doll she can explore how her eyes open and close without doing it to herself and to you, and she would learn this by the fact the doll won't protest but you will. This would be an opportunity to explain how delicate human eyes are and they are not quite like the dollies, who can't feel anything. She would also begin to learn a difference between the animate and inanimate. When she is tired she would then have something else to use to show you she is tired rather than pinch you and something to comfort her. You could also use the doll to show her what she needs to do when she feels tired and say 'look dolly doesn't scratch and pull her eyes look dolly just lies down and go to sleep'.

Drawing/photographying eyes, buying some cheap bonoculars/telescope/sunglasses/kilidoscope, going to the science museum to look at their eye display, a visit to the opticians to try on the glasses or even watch you have an eye test, etc even at such a young age shows her you are taking her interest seriously and will help her to learn what eyes are for, ie. not pulling them.

You could also nurture her interest in 'open and shut' and 'enveloping'. Buy her or borrow some toys where she can open and close things such as cars with doors that open and close, dolls furniture/house with doors, write letters and put them in envelopes, etc. This may help to move her interest on to other things rather just focussing on the doll and her eyes. There's no foolproof answer and it's difficult to give advice based on the little information you have given but I hope it gives you some ideas for an approach.

[arrozdoce]

Hi, my 13 month old does all of these things, and is particularly interested in my/anyone else's eyes, nostrils and mouth and is always trying to poke her fingers in all of the above...if I remember correctly her older sister did this too- I've always just seen it as a natural learning thing babies and children do, and although painful at times I never give it a second thought. She also scratches and nips when she's feeding, tired, or sometimes frustrated.

When she was younger she used to scratch her face at night, and does it now as she's going to sleep - I just make sure her nails are cut short.

I wouldn't worry, and I agree in letting her feed her curiosity with the toys.

[keencentipede]

Coincidently I caught a supernanny drop in programme on exactly this topic. She was chatting to a couple who were concerned about eyelid and lashes being pulled. Her recommendation to them was as advised above - it is a phase. Don't draw unnecessary attention to it, it will only encourage the behaviour when in need of a bit of attention. It isn't caused by any deep psychological need and will stop. I would definately free the doll from the cupboard.

Understand concerns through - my son 'stretched' his eyes open wide. Apparently a tick, and everyone said it would pass. We had his eyes tested, no problem visited the dr's just in case something more serious, no problem. It had been going on for about 18months/2 years then suddenly stopped. Bizarre! Just another one of those things that children do to test us!