Ashes To Ashes, Dust To Dust

[LizzygotDizzy]

Erm... didn't actually mean for the kids to waste as little money as possible trying to kill me either, before someone points out my mistake! Though nowadays with kids bumping their parents off for the insurance money one never knows!

[Keef]

My dad always tells us to chuck him in the thames in a bin liner.

[LizzygotDizzy]

cor lucky I can type fast

[LizzygotDizzy]

Wow, that could have been embarrassing!

[Keef]

Er... Okay...

[*Bob*]

Keef Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> My dad always tells us to chuck him in the thames

> in a bin liner.

Dead or alive?

[Keef]

I think it would be easiest about half hour after a Sunday Roast, when he will be sound asleep for several hours.

[*Bob*]

Heavier though.

[Keef]

Yes, but less need for bricks in the bag.

[SimonM]

>>My dad always tells us to chuck him in the thames in a bin liner.<<

And do you do this a lot? Or does he just mean after he is dead? :))

[Keef]

Well it started off as a funeral plan, but you know what it's like, have a few beers in the CPT, find a bin bag, decide to see if the beer will make you float or not... boys will be boys.

[SimonM]

As long as you use a biodegradable bin bag...

[PeckhamRose]

I wrote elsewhere on the forum that for a while I used to work in a funeral directors. Not embalming or being a director at the funeral, but arranging them and receiving the people who came through the door to arrange funerals for their rellies or friends.

Anyway, three things I learned.

1) These funeral companies charge SO MUCH MONEY for basically cheap things.

2) You CAN do it yourself - so much help and many choices on line these days.

3) That whilst the older generations may like traditional funeral services, the fact is that a lot of people can make more green and environmentally helpful choices these days. And younger generations will hopefully mean we can dispense with the nonsense of handing over thousands of pounds to companies for relatively little, in most cases to ease our religious guilt and stuff.

For myself - since I am not religious, and since my life has been saved many many times by the NHS specially when I was a child, I have decided to have my body donated to the London Anatomy Office (google it). My friends and relatives know (and my doctor and solicitor), that when I am dead that my body is taken there and if suitable can be used by medical students to learn on. However, if it is not, then cremate it. It's cheaper.

I did organise a funeral for a motorcyclist - that was one obviously very sad but everyone was very impressed and grateful when I suggested to the girlfriend that she may like a motorcycle hearse. And thus it was I organised the country's first motorcycle hearse to take the lad on his final journey.

I never got around to organising someone's ashes (pure carbon) to be turned into a firework or a precious jewel, though. All such possibilities are available but not everyone knows to ask, and not every receptionist thinks to offer.

Hey - we all die. Yet it's usually such a taboo subject. As someone who's come close many times I don't worry about talking about it. But PLEASE take note of the following:

1) If you're not married to your partner, you won't get his/her pension when he/she dies. Gay people who have had civil ceremonies currently have more rights than unmarried straights EVEN WITH KIDS.

2) If the deceased has not written a will, it makes life very very hard for those left behind. People die at all ages and always have. So write a will.

Lecture over ;)

Happy Christmas though!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Marmora Man]

Burn me and scatter the ashes at sea

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

I want to be burnt and scattered in the wind!!

I want everyone to go to the pub afterwards and have a bloody good night taking the Pee out of me!