Cash reward for Dulwich inventors

[northlondoner]

A reward of ?10,000 to the genius who invents a device which detonates any dog shitting on an East Dulwich pavement - leaving my blind mum - and others -to tread in its vile droppings.

An additional sum of ?10,000 will be paid for a device causing the aforementioned shit to materialise instantly in the living room of the miscreant owner.

Serious applicants only.

[HAL9000]

I've just invented a dog shit-seeking missile and I claim my ?10,000.

Pay up or the naughty puppy doesn't get it!

[computedshorty]

A gas deterant?

[PeckhamRose]

You're looking at it from the wrong angle.

You need a device which fits into people's shoes which can detect the smell of dog shit at ground level, so another way of dealing with it is using a tube stuck up someone's nostril which drops down and bends forward about 12 inches so they can smell at floor level.

I claim my ?10,000. The rule doesn't state a prototype need be made.

[red devil]

PeckhamRose Wrote:

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> You're looking at it from the wrong angle.

> You need a device which fits into people's shoes

> which can detect the smell of dog shit at ground

> level, so another way of dealing with it is using

> a tube stuck up someone's nostril which drops down

> and bends forward about 12 inches so they can

> smell at floor level.

>

> I claim my ?10,000. The rule doesn't state a

> prototype need be made.

...or you could try getting an ex-sniffer dog, then you've got the added bonus that you might discover someone's hidden stash B)

[bon3yard]

Did Dulwich need inventing?

[Ridgley]

How about a spotlight fitted into a CCTV street camera with a chip sensor detector , so it shames the dog owner on the spot and send them a bill in the post:))

[maxxi]

Ridgley Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> How about a spotlight fitted into a CCTV street

> camera with a chip sensor detector , so it shames

> the dog owner on the spot and send them a bill in

> the post:))

'Cause the dog would end up on Britain's Got Talent

[computedshorty]

Better still fix a Chip machine to the dogs bum and it will Chip the droppings. To trace the dogs owner.

Must be worth a reward of ?1.50.

[HAL9000]

Better still: dog poo can be matched to its manufacturer via DNA fingerprinting.

Believe it or not, pet DNA testing is big business.

[TheArtfulDogger]

Man

there goes the Neighbourhood toilet :'(

I claim the reward as I have invented Doggy nappies that solves both problems, no Dog Shit on the street, and when the dog gets home the nappy falls of an leaves the shit on the owners floor.

Just field tested one and apart from a squidgy bum, which feels strange, they work

[northlondoner]

It's official. The prize goes -appropriately enough - to Artful Dogger...even though the offending animal does not explode. But its the only invention that stops the shit AND deposits it on the owner's floor. East Dulwich salutes you.

[TheArtfulDogger]

yeah

Mine's a pint of Dogbolter as you are paying NorthLondoner