If you could g back and give yourself, as a new parent, any advice...

[JBoylen]

This. and do what you feel is right, it's not as easy as others make it looks so don't worry about being frazzled, we all are. Oh and get out of the house!

Fuschia Wrote:

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> To me: babies do need naps even if they don't show

> signs easily

> Don't bother trying to spoon feed

> When letting the baby self feed, go for variety,

> not lack of mess potential

> Don't book up lots of classes

> Make at least one good solid 'mummy friend'

>

> Wine is fine

>

> If it all gets too much, have a bath

>

> Realise everyone else is as clueless as you even

> if they have very organised nappy bags

>

> Never lock the baby in the car

> Or the house

[Ko]

dry dry dry the bottom after nappy changes before putting on new nappy - this is the best way to prevent nappy rash! even use a hairdryer on a low setting to dry the skin, or just pat for ages with a muslin.

also, when your partner gets home from work, try to have a long hot bath to unwind and relax after your day! xxx

[chantelle]

Always have an extra change of baby clothes for unexpected poo-namis.

Natural birth and breast are best but the elective c section and formula mums almost certainly are having an easier ride. (my experience second time around.)

[sophiechristophy]

Forgive yourself, and try to remind yourself to take each day without judgement of yourself or others. Not easy, especially when you are tired and worn a little thin!

[sb]

.

[Ruth_Baldock]

Chantelle; good to know. And here's me thinking that having major abdominal surgery (twice, in 18mo) was painful and extremeley difficult.

Other advice for myself: Don't worry about solids. Under 1 is just for fun. And no, your son will never be the type of child to chow down enthusiastically on anything you give him, what you have there is a picky eater. But it's fine. Around the time your second baby is born, you'll make a good friend who has a baby who is exactly the same, anyway, so you don't have the only meal refuser in the village.

Make triple sure everything on your baby's birth cert is absolutely correct, because it's a nightmare to get anything changed.

Don't get a Phil&Ted's explorer. Get a side-by-side.

Don't sign up to a forum using your full name and a pathetic underscore as your username. Your Mumsnet login or twitter handle would work just fine too and you won't look like a huge tool.

[????]

Don't read any books apart from basic childcare/health/development ones, or if you have to read them don't treat them as bibles

[Beany]

I'd tell myself not to even bother trying to establish a nighttime routine before 6 weeks, and a daytime routine before 12 weeks - I might do little things each day to give me structure, but not beat myself up that the baby is not complying!!! Yup - chuck a lot of books in the bin.

Also - I would definitely take the bubs out in the evening in the early weeks - what's the point of all of us sitting around listening to crying??

Would spend more time cuddling sleeping little one rather than trying to settle her in a crib. I'm probably never the mum who can 'love every moment', but next time round plan to love a whole lot more....

Finally - a variation of the 'everything is a phase' theme - I would forbid myself from catastrophising (sp?) i.e. "we had a shocker of a night last night - so therefore none of us will ever sleep again".

[midivydale]

I love this thread! As a first time mum to be - I am taking everything on board.

[Otta]

Accept that other people will have different ideas to you. Don't judge their choices, and pay no attention if you suspect they're judging you.

Don't get hung up on the "what your baby should be doing now" charts. When they're adults, it won't matter one bit if they walked at 9 months or 18 months.

[chantelle]

Agree that not judging and not worrying about others' judgements is great advice.

[tadpole39]

I would not do the children food thing, id avoid the endless pizza, smiley faces and fishfingers and get them on to proper food as soon as!

[little h]

don't get in such a tizz about breastfeeding, if you and/or baby don't' get it then spare yourself the heartache... You and baby will be fine, and other mothers aren't judging you as much as you think for having a bottle fed baby...

Enjoy the tiny baby phase, its so so fleeting.

I'm really glad we got into a bedtime routine fairly early on...that did really help.

[esme]

...wouldn't pressurise myself to solely breast feed for so long, take naps when baby naps, take all the offers of help you can get within first few months, don't feel pressured to go out and about daily, don't stress about being late going out to meet people, the list is endless!!!

[hellosailor]

Don't keep beating yourself up with how you think you've messed it up already in the first few weeks / months..' agh I feed my baby to sleep so they'll never learn to go down without it', 'noooo My baby only sleeps on me so will never sleep in a basket, cot, etc' - they will before long - but the sinking feeling that you're getting it all wrong takes the edge off the fun and the newborn cuddles and you don't get that time back.

Distinctly remember posting a desperate thread on here 'My baby is 5 weeks old and we still don't have anything resembling a routine'

hahahahahahahahaha! 35 days old and incredibly, not complying to the schedule it outlined in the books! snarf!

[boyohboy]

I so agree with Tadpole39 - when weaning your child, forget the manufactured baby stuff and give them real food from the start! I would also add that if you are lucky enough to still have your parents, then get them and the kids together as much as you can...

[Cyberia]

Lower your expectations. And then lower them some more. All right? Keep lowering. You'll get there in the end.

[The Nappy Lady]

Here's a big one I don't think we've mentioned yet;

Don't take too much notice (want to say 'any' but there may be 1 good one out there somewhere!) of health visitors or proxy centile charts. You don't need to go and wait 2 hours during baby's nap time to get them weighed, follow your gut instinct, and if you're worried get on the scales alone (scary, post baby weigh in!) then holding baby, work out the difference & that's what they weigh.... So much easier & stress free!

Find out where breast feeding cafe sessions are before baby arrives & go there for help ASAP if you are struggling.

Learn it's better to let baby cry for an extra few minutes while you make sure you are sorted - tv remotes, phone, book, cushions etc etc before you sit down for those marathon feeding sessions!

Go to thenappylady.co.uk for cloth nappy advise & go for it.....I had to say that didn't I...but it's what I did first time round & it worked for me! ;-)))

[dulwichgirl2]

Have more skin to skin cuddles - I was always worried they got colds/peed on me and the bedclothes.....

Avoid bubblebath as it invariably causes exzema if any fun at all.

Be strict even when tired. It saves time as they are past masters in negotiation and pushing boundaries from day 1.

Show them a lot of love and cuddles from both you and your husband early on- you are forming habits and brain trails....

And most of the posts above!

[Helen GV]

Don't assume that those close to you will know that you need help and/or will know how they can best help you. Tell people if you need support. Let your partner help wherever possible.

Write stuff down as it happens because you will forget little things.

[sillywoman]

Ruth_Baldock Wrote:

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>

> Don't sign up to a forum using your full name and

> a pathetic underscore as your username. Your

> Mumsnet login or twitter handle would work just

> fine too and you won't look like a huge tool.

Ruth,you never fail to make me LOL :))

Would second what loads of people have said about "don't stress or angst about doing it 'wrong' or 'making a rod for your own back' in the first 6 weeks. Don't even think about a routine until 6 weeks or more, and there's nothing you can do in that time that will create a lifelong bad habit - really, nothing. Just get through it in whatever way works best for you.

Oh, just remembered - if your baby is rubbing their forehead back & forth on your shoulder it means they're tired. If they don't go to sleep soon then they will be overtired and you will enter the screaming zone (again). Little babies can't stay awake for as long as you think.