Ah, I only take my foot out of my mouth to speak

[Annette Curtain]

Oh ground, swallow me up

On Thursday I went to see Mickey Flannigan play a small warm up gig at the Hob in Forest Hill. Very funny indeed he is; except there was a relentless heckler very near to the mic, which made it worse.

She was awful, screeching out half way through a story, it got so bad that Mickey F had to pull her up quite hard.

"Listen love, if you keep butting in it will ruin it for everyone & the crowd will turn on you" which they duly did and she pretty much kept a lid on it from there on in.

Whilst there I bumped into my son's football coach who also teaches at his school, he's a young guy and very personable.

"Yeah, me and a few mates are here, we love mickey" he said.

Anyway, that was that and this is now.

So, this morning we go to the football training as usual & I see the coach.

"Hello, how are you, did you enjoy the comedy" I enquired

"Yeah, great fun, how about you"

"Well, apart from that god awful woman shouting out, yes. I could have strangled her though"

"That was my Mum" he said

(ah.......anyway, the training went well:-$)

Am I the only one to do this kind of thing?

Nette:-S

[Alan Medic]

Well I wouldn't take what a football coach says too seriously. My son's first coach assured me he would play for England. Well he hasn't. He didn't know that my son was qualified to play for Spain.

[Annette Curtain]

No really med's

It was his mum

:-$

[camberwell70]

A few years ago I did something very similar...

On a bus one day...

The female bus driver was refusing to let (very young) children on without passes and sitting there obdurately with her arms folded not going anywhere until they got off. It was a hot day and I'd seen her do this before, three or four times. Very annoying if you had to get somewhere. Anyway, when she turned the engine off I turned to the twenty something chap sitting next to me and shaking my head said 'She's unbelievable this driver, she does this all the time, tut tut, what's her problem?'

And he says' 'Yeah, I know, shes like this at home.'

'What?' I said.

'I live with her.'

'What?'

'She's my mum.'

Yes folks, he was just going for a ride with his mum.

[steveo]

At a wedding (aged 14) I asked my Aunt Dorothy, 'Who is the bloke in the demob suit?' 'That's your Uncle Bob,' she replied with a laugh.

I went as red as a bus and ran away.

I think Bob must have just got out of prison because I swear I'd never seen him before.

[steveo]

Nearly did one just now. 'When's it due then? Oh, you are pregnant aren't you?'

[Jah Lush]

I've done similar. An ex-girlfriend of mine who I hadn't seen in a while turned up at one of my local watering holes back in the day. She'd put on quite a few pounds and I was a bit tipsy and I said something along the lines of "Hello darling, blimey are you pregnant, when's it due?" "No, she said almost bordering on tears. "I've been very depressed recently and I'm on anti-depressants and they have made put on a lot of weight." I'd have been quite happy to have been swallowed up by the earth right then. Doh!

[Chick]

steveo Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Nearly did one just now. 'When's it due then? Oh,

> you are pregnant aren't you?'

Me too.

[KidKruger]

I got set up by a mate in my village when I was just of drinking age:

Mate: "KK, go and ask Carl if his sister is any good at ballet, he's a right laugh when you ask him that!".

KK: "Huh ?! what's that all about then ?"

Mate: "Seriously, he seems a bit of a loner but check him when he tells you ALL about his sister !"

KK(stupidly): "Hey Carl, is your sister any good at ballet then ?".

Carl: "You taking the piss KK ?"

KK: "No mate, is she good or what ?"

Carl(literally while KK hangs from the wall held up by the throat, choking slowly): "My sister has little stumpy legs because she was born with Thalidamide, so no she's shit at ballet. And now you're going pay for that".

KK: "No, no, you got it all wrong ask my mates they told me to ask you... uuuuurrrghhhhhh..."

..mates eventually talk Carl down but I was truly throttled, Carl would have near-killed me. Touchy bastard.