Doctors

[susyp]

Does anyone have any tips on how to get a 4 year old over a doctor phobia? As I can see this becoming a huge problem!

My daughter has an infection "down below" and by the time I noticed it she was red raw and in a lot of pain and discomfort. The GPs surgery were great and saw her immediately. However this meant we went straight after school (never a good time) while my daughter was in said pain. She already has an issues with doctors as last September she had croup and the (child doctor apparently) GP we saw her got cross because she wouldn't open her mouth and said, and I quote " Ok we'll do this the hard way then" and forced her mouth open.

So we trotted in to see a very nice lady doctor who then proceeded to bear very patiently a full 30 minutes of my daughter having total hysterics and racing around her room trying to get away from me trying to pull her pants down!!! She kicked and bit me, was full on hysteria. The doctor was very good and didn't touch her at all and let me undress her and handle her etc.

However we now have to go back for a follow up on monday. When I rang to make the appointment the receptionist said "oh yes we know who xx is" because the entire waiting room had of course heard the screaming!! So I am dreading it.

I have made some progress in that the antibiotics and the cream that were prescribed have made her a lot less sore very very quickly - so we keep discussing how clever the doctor is - but I still think when it comes to undress we will have another scene.

Any tips?!

Susypx

[Fuschia]

Thinking laterally

How about putting her in a long skirt and no knickers

One less thing to remOve

I would think about making up a little song about your return visit and get her used to it .... With some humour

We're going to the doctor

We're going to the doctor. Ee eye adio we're going to the dr

We're riding on an elephant

We're riding on an elephant

We're showing her our eyebrows

We're showing her our nostrils

And work up to a description of the likely visit

Perhaps with a special treat for after, worked in

[Saffron]

You probably already know this, but it's not helping your daughter for her to see that you don't have control of the situation, ie her running around for 30 min and kicking and biting you. Is there a trusted adult friend or family member that you can take with you who would help you firmly but kindly physically restrain her? The longer she spends making hysterics of it at the drs office, the more the anxiety builds in her mind. I think it's incredibly tough for you to have to tackle this scenario on your own. You really need to enlist some help on the day, even if it's only for the moral support. xx

[GinaG3]

My daughter is similar but the issue surrounds nappy changes, although now toilet trained. Whilst you need the doctor to see anything you do that upsets is going to instill the fear that little bit more. I agree with gaining control but I also understand its hard in these situations. I've always tried to make a game of things, and tried to explain everything in advance. Doctors are nice and are there to help, she can whisper you anything she doesn't like if she feels unhappy while she is there etc and she can have a nice treat when it's over. Do you have an iPhone or any such device or distraction that you can give to her to play on or anything while you lay her down to be looked at? Also I've found blowing between the legs gently helps my daughter to feel more comfortable opening her legs to be checked over or cleaned during nappy changes. She used to throw right fits of hysteria much like you describe just during a simple nappy change for well over a year!

Wish you all the best, I strongly doubt this will be something that lasts, as she gets older she will begin to realise more that doctors are only there to help. To be honest, issues down below are quite nasty and she probably feels quite sensitive and doesn't want anyone poking around.

[Fuschia]

You may find the dr doesn't even need to look...if you describe how thins are looking?

[minder]

Would agree with Fuschia and describe the symptoms with maybe a quick look if possible! That's if you manage to get an appointment with a doctor.

To let the situation go on for 30 minutes will just make it worse if your daughter has to go to the docs in the future.

[Belle]

think that's v unprofessional of the receptionist! And not very helpful...

do you have anything you need to see a doctor about, even just something routine? Might be good for her to come with you and have the roles reversed, see how it's v normal etc? I am building up to my son's preschool jabs and think (fingers crossed!) that him coming with me for all his little brother's immunisations will have helped prepare him/normalise it a bit.

[parkview]

I would suggest books about what a doctor does written in a way your child understands. Have a search on Amazon - maybe someone here can recoomend one? I find that books help children who are scared of something put their worries into perspective. Books are usually quite good helping children talk about their feelings such as being scared or worried and at the same time see how they can get over them by having a better understanding.

I agree that the receptionist is not very professional, but what you say about your GP sounds really nice.

[Saffron]

susyp Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> When I rang to make the appointment the

> receptionist said "oh yes we know who xx is"

> because the entire waiting room had of course

> heard the screaming!! So I am dreading it.

>

Should we give the receptionist the benefit of the doubt... maybe it was her/his crude attempt to diffuse future upsets with humour and not meant to distress you? Sometimes it doesn't translate well over the phone.

> I have made some progress in that the antibiotics

> and the cream that were prescribed have made her a

> lot less sore very very quickly - so we keep

> discussing how clever the doctor is - but I still

> think when it comes to undress we will have

> another scene.

>

> Any tips?!

Can you speak to a nurse the day before (or morning of) your appointment? S/he might be able to advise you if a physical exam will be needed at all. As others have said, you may simply need to describe your daughter's symptoms on the day, depending on her progress of course. Hope it's all better soon. xx

[susyp]

Thank you everyone really encouraging! I hadn't actually thought about the receptionist being unprofessional and I think you are right as it did make me feel terrible - whereas before I kind of thought it was par for the course - plenty of kids have meltdowns in different situations and my daughter doesn't actually score too badly on the meltdown front!

Would love to have her daddy with me but he is working, so I think all I can do is try to educate her more - and I would far prefer that she wasn't forced. So we have read a book about a doctor's day, practised her and her favourite toy letting the doctor look at their bottoms and talked about how nice the doctor was and how amazing it is how quickly she hs got better. Plus promise of pizza after... Also I have just got an iphone at last so am busy downloading some games that she can do at the surgery on the basis she goes along with everything!!

susypx

[Fuschia]

Let us know how it goes

Try to act very calm about it ...

[susyp]

Hurray today's visit was fine, in fact my daughter, being one of extremes as she is - actually cuddled the doctor!

I think the fact she got better so quickly was the deciding factor in changing her mind!

susypx

[Fuschia]

That's good news

Bet you were relieved!

[apenn]

Just read this and glad to hear all went well. I just wanted to comment with regard to Saffron's post to say that I'm sorry but I couldn't disagree more. I used to have a needle phobia that was CAUSED by being physically restrained to have an injection. Please remember that the issue with phobia's are about that person's ability to control the situation - not the ability of those around you to control it!

[Saffron]

I think you've slightly misread my post, apenn. Nowhere does it say to restrain the child for the examination. I think the child should be restrained from biting and kicking the parent! Allowing a child to bite and kick a parent actually fuels the child's phobia IMHO, by allowing the child to see that the authority figure in the room (ie the parent) does not have adequate control of the environment. Apologies if that was not clear in my post. xx