How to make a nanny share work, advice appreciated

[Houseoflego]

Hi, we have found the perfect nanny and have good friends to share with. I am beginning to see where potential pitfalls lie (food, housekeeping, holidays..... lots really!) and am keen to make this all as smooth as possible.

Top tips appreciated.

[JessM]

If you're going to have it alternating between houses, kit each house out fully (high-chair, cot etc). We didn't do this as our share was only a short-term arrangement but it was a bloody nightmare sorting out moving the spare kit from theirs to ours!

[Adam]

Couple of things we are thinking of in the nanny share we are about to go into:

- agree that the families will take at least two weeks holiday at the same time, in addition to two weeks chosen by the nanny herself, or she will not get a real break

- be clear between the two families who hosts, and how you split costs - car insurance, petrol, food, OFSTED registration if relevant. Remember the family who hosts in the morning get the benefit of the nanny's help at te most frantic part of the day, which the family dropping off do not.

- agree activities with the other family. With two or more kids being looked after at the same time, some activities e.g. Swimming may not work, at least for younger children. For older kids after school, the other family may want their kids to do activities when you want your kid to be relaxing at home, or vice versa. It's good to check you are on the same page on this, or at least degree of compromise required.

- lastly, an obvious point but check you are agreed on rate of pay and paying properly via payroll (ie paying tax and NICS). It's amazing how many people try to do cash in hand or other dodgy arrangements with nannies, which could backfire on you both.

Hope this is some help. Interested in any other ideas people have.

[amydown]

We've been in a very happy share for nearly two years now. Some thoughts to share:

- we did two weeks hosting at ours and two weeks at the other family's. Had two high chairs, cots, etc etc so that the only thing to be moved between the houses was the double buggy.

- holidays, each family got to choose one week off, our nanny chose 2 weeks off and we all took a week off between x-mas and new year

- if you have strong views on things (eg. No TV, routine vs. baby led), discuss them before signing up

- with kitty money, whoever was hosting paid that week's kitty money. If we needed one-off top-ups, we shared the cost

Most importantly, think of your nanny share baby as one of your and hard to go wrong! Also, keep the communication channel open and talk to the other family whenever things need discussing.

If you find the right family and the nanny, I think it's a wonderful childcare option for everyone involved.

[Houseoflego]

Thanks for tips, having finally got a chance to discuss thongs with our share family we realised it would not work as they only needed a couple of hours. Starting from scratch now, looking forward to when its all settled down!

[Moos]

It can work brilliantly, and in some ways I think an instant friend can be more fun for your baby than sole care (plus learning early about How To Share!).

Agree with all the points above, and I'd add to some of them to say

- Write everything down in a contract between you. Not as crazy as that sounds, it's good to have everything clarified and agreed.

- If something changes (eg someone has another baby) discuss what the changes will mean and re-contract. Worth the trouble.

- Holiday dates cause the most trouble and strife - if everyone can book their holidays with as much notice as possible, that is immensely helpful

- Talk over any issues you may have as soon as they arrive to get them resolved

- When picking a family make sure they have similar ideas about discipline, nutrition, treats, naptime etc. to yours. Although, you'll find you'll all have to adapt to what your nanny does!

Try nannyshare.co.uk to find a local family and good luck!

[Norfolkvillas]

We have loved nanny sharing for the past two years. In addition to the contractual and logistical arrangements, we also wrote a nanny handbook, covering our expectations, any house rules, details of baby routines, allergies, doctors contact details etc. I found this a really helpful process to go through with the other mum, as it highlighted how similar our outlooks were. I do think that it makes a big difference if both families have similar parenting approaches, and I think this makes for a happier life for your nanny too.

Totally agree re kit - we had two of everything, including a double buggy for each house.

I never found holidays too much of a problem - we all gave as much notice as poss, and tried to coordinate wherever we could.

[Saila]

Ditto on finding someone with the same approach

I found our nannyshare on nannyshare.co.uk and said in my description that I followed the 7am-7pm gina ford routine. I knew this wasn't to everyone's taste but equally I didn't want a share where the nanny spent the whole time rocking the other baby to sleep etc

I got a reply straight away from another gina-mum. We've been together ever since (2.5yrs), did same weaning and potty training etc. We're v like minded and this has made things very straight forward.

My son and her duaghter, who are the same age, are like an old couple. They have a wonderful relationship and even their own language (cute!).

I wouldn't change a thing

We had a mum-contract and then separate nanny contracts who we hired together.

I can pm them to you in you want copies