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  • 7 months later...

"Oy!! My Razzle is in that Manifesto. Its a "Dulwichmum" original"


*Thankfully Mrs T is strangely impervious to fire, probably a good, all things considering*


"Has anybody got the key to the gun room? My elephant gun is stored there and I need to put a newbie out of our misery. Ah yes here it is, under the half full soda stream bottle"


*Opens lavvie door, grabs Manifesto/Razzle off red devil. Hand Manifesto back*


"Sorry! Meant to mend that lock years ago, Mrs Dobbin the lactating donkey kicked it open when suffering from mastitis. Nice undies by the way"


*Settles in comfy chair with Razzle, elephant gun, gun-oil and rags*


*Whistles tunelessly*

*Outside door am nearly knocked over by 'Rags'* - (pedigree fox-cat-cross and leader of the Fellbrigg Rd wolf pack)


*-who shoots out of newly-installed cat flap* - (I'm a dab-hand with a router, MDF, & a 360 hinge - it also scares Woody away)


*-fleeing awful whistled version of Dark Horse by George Harrison*


*-and overpowering smell of gun oil and bhaji liniment*

  • 8 months later...

Albina wafts in for a touch of damp dusting but decides a total refit is in order. 3 drives past with an industrial floor sander, 2 coats of industrial floor varnish and 6 litres of Farrow & Ball Elephant's Breath later and she can finish off by damp dusting the plantation shutters.


Hurrah! Next year will be the best year ever. Looking forward to the best New Years party this postcode has ever seen (faints).

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I was thinking that myself, but I really can't

> find a window treatment I like at the moment. What

> would you suggest?



I'd suggest something retro yet daring-


A Windolene white-out with finger-written messages (according to season etc.) and an optional newspaper/sellotape collage over the hole where the xpelair was.

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Albina wafts in for a touch of damp dusting but

> decides a total refit is in order. 3 drives past

> with an industrial floor sander, 2 coats of

> industrial floor varnish and 6 litres of Farrow &

> Ball Elephant's Breath later.


I see that your skin care regime has become more assertive in your twilight years. Good to have you back I was rather expecting to see you in a "Those that have passed in 2013" article in People Friend.

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