Quiet room...

[Moos]

Cor, nice getup, Keef - I do like a boy in his uniform.

*spies Gaulish wives looking threatening, and flees in disarray*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Wanders in wearing a stained brown tunic and a rather bad nylon wig*

"Nay, nay thrice nay! Oh suit yerselves. SCRUBBA!! Hurry up wench - there's some Nobs that need serving"

*Opens a bottle of Falurian Red and sploshes a goodly amount into a silver goblet*

"When do the Etruscan dancing girls arrive?"

*Hic*

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Infamy, infamy, they've all .....

[Moos]

LOL at PGC - I've been thinking that all day... They don't call it Carry on Up the Forum for nothing.

Madam, I salute you.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Anybody read the Falco books - Roman detective, written by Lyndsey Davis?

[citizenED]

*Witnesses gagggle of famed British comedy actors and actresses farting around in the corner*

*turns askance to avoid foodstuffs being thrown around*

*puts fingers in ears to avoid explosion of camp and risque jests*

*Gives evil eye to PGC for rousing the Ghost of Carrion*

*on second thoughts, picks up stray figs and hurls them at said entourage*

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Moos, I sincerely hope you are not about to die.

Asks Tony Curtis to peel a fig for me.

[Moos]

If I should die, think only this of me: I'll be back to getcha.

(With thanks to Messrs Curtis and Atkinson)

[Michael Palaeologus]

"Do you like oysters or snails?"

*Hands round a plate of tasty morsels to the famished*

"Darling Moos, please dont die, at least not before your alloted time and all that. You are rather good fun Dear Thing"

"Champage and Guinness anybody, rather nice with the Oyters for breakfast"

*Excuse the early start, the delivery chaps arrived at 7.15 this mornng with my Indian furniture. Made from the finest rare tropical hardwoods and there was a complementary tiger skin duster in the biggest box. A day of furniture wrestling beckons*

[Moos]

Frightening combination of real and unreal there, MP.

Will endeavour not to die in the immediate future, but the evil eye which Citizen aimed at PGC bounced off the chandelier and hit me by mistake. Feel - rather - weak...

*falls melodramatically on the sofa, presses hand to forehead*

Adieu, dear friends! Only caffeine can save me now, and there's nothing in the QR but alcohol!

[KalamityKel]

Anyone got a spare box of tissues? I've run out :( *sighs*

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Folds Moos' hands across chest and reaches for the glycerine drops.

Ponders the conundrum that MP on another thread sold furniture to make way for heirlooms. Is he a mighty rajah in mufti?

[Brendan]

*Rushes pulling a cart holding a defibrillator*

Has another dropped dead on us?

Someone hop on that treadmill attached to the defibrillator we need to power the dynamo to get a charge up.

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Dashes in from Cafe Nero with a Double Espresso in hand. Places Espresso cup to Moos slightly pale blue lips (not a good look it has to be said), pours a few drops of the reviving brew into the mouth of Moos (hint of Doctor Who there?), waits expectantly*

"Is it too late, is she the Late-Moos or will there be a second-coming of the Moos?"

[citizenED]

*Moos looks well out of it, what has she been on?*

*sos about the misdirected evil eye, hope it's nothing fatal*

*double expresso should do the trick*

*question now, is what to do with all these Fauns, Satyrs and Nymphs running around*

*who is going to fetch the broom?*

[Brendan]

Anyone got some tweezers? I seem to have a faun stuck in my foot.

[KalamityKel]

Broomstick flying too? blimey!

[Michael Palaeologus]

How about a barbecue? The weather is lovely and I am sure Brendan's South African heritage has given him the skills to skewer and grill a few fauns, satyrs and nymphs to a turn. Should we marinade them first?

[Brendan]

*Stick head up from behind the bar *

*Arms full of various bottles of exotic spirits *

Does someone want something marinated?

[KalamityKel]

*suggests we start wiv DM* ;-)

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Hmm, I think DM comes ready-marinaded, a bit like Sainsbury's tandoori chicken legs, except DM is a little more orange*

*Lets start with a Satyr and see how we go*

*Bonks a passing satyr on the head with handy oak staff and swiftly joints it with handy large pointy knife*

"What do we do with Satyr tripe?"

[Moos]

*Suddenly sits up with loud gasp*

You saved me!

Now, what was that snippy comment about my lovely blue lipstick?

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Tsk, one simple observation about make-up and my life saving efforts are all forgotten!*

*Have a BBQ's Satyr chop Moos, they are rather tasty*

[Brendan]

Good gods. If there wasn?t enough filthy innuendo what with all the marinating and skewering going on. Michael has to just come straight out and bonked a satyr.

Well this isn?t nearly clever enough to be satire. And you can Carry that On up the Forum or whatever.

[KalamityKel]

*Distributes some bananas*