Quiet room...

[Otta]

*throws ice cream float across the room*

[maxxi]

It couldn't get any stickier!

*Hurls litre bottle of Alpine Pineappleade loaded with space dust and ducks*

No, no it's not loaded with ducks, don't be so fucking literal Huge.

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Sweet Jesus! Ducks!! Are there no depths to which you will not stoop?*

*Pulls pin from a fragmentation tortoise and hurls it over the top*

[red devil]

*Leaves cheque on bar for Mops R Us.

Pins up poster on noticeboard - Summer Lido now OPEN!..*

[New Girl]

*Silently sniggering at erotica collection in Chener's with Nero coffee in hand. Cue spillage*

*Embarassement ensues.....*

[Tarot]

I go away and the squatters are back again I notice Hugenot through the dusty window drink in hand reading the, wait I dont believe it his got the script for the lead character in the Fifty shades of grey film.

Jammy old f..t

[red devil]

*Places pitch forks back in secure store...*

[Michael Palaeologus]

"A few cobwebs in the old place"

*Flits round with duster*

*Finds crumpled photo of a lactating donkey and battered copy of Razzle*

"Ah, memories"

"Time for a spring clean and lick of paint?"

[????]

*walks in wearily, nods at MP, grabs a full bottle of any sort, turns off computer/smartphone and puts them away, sighs*

'God let the next few days pass quickly'

[KalamityKel]

mefinks ya shouldn't just take any ol' bottle... might contain something less than fit for consumption if rumours r to b taken seriously...

*offers a lady grey* :))

[Huguenot]

*piles all the smartphones in the middle of the table*

First one to touch theirs picks up the bill.

[Michael Palaeologus]

"Let me just adjust the black ribbons around the photograph of The Blessed Margaret"

*Lights a few tea-lights and places them beneath in reverential fashion*

*Slips off to the lavatory clutching a copy of the 1979 Conservative Party Manifesto*

[Otta]

*Walks in and trips over a copy of the 1979 Conservative Party Manifesto minus the dustcover*

*Wonders what happened to that battered copy of Razzle*

[red devil]

*Grabs a tealight and sets fire to the picture of Thatch. Seeing that bog roll is runing low, picks up the 1979 Conservative Party Manifesto and heads off for a much needed dump...*

[Michael Palaeologus]

"Oy!! My Razzle is in that Manifesto. Its a "Dulwichmum" original"

*Thankfully Mrs T is strangely impervious to fire, probably a good, all things considering*

"Has anybody got the key to the gun room? My elephant gun is stored there and I need to put a newbie out of our misery. Ah yes here it is, under the half full soda stream bottle"

*Opens lavvie door, grabs Manifesto/Razzle off red devil. Hand Manifesto back*

"Sorry! Meant to mend that lock years ago, Mrs Dobbin the lactating donkey kicked it open when suffering from mastitis. Nice undies by the way"

*Settles in comfy chair with Razzle, elephant gun, gun-oil and rags*

*Whistles tunelessly*

[maxxi]

*Outside door am nearly knocked over by 'Rags'* - (pedigree fox-cat-cross and leader of the Fellbrigg Rd wolf pack)

*-who shoots out of newly-installed cat flap* - (I'm a dab-hand with a router, MDF, & a 360 hinge - it also scares Woody away)

*-fleeing awful whistled version of Dark Horse by George Harrison*

*-and overpowering smell of gun oil and bhaji liniment*

[????]

*stirs from stupor, looks at empty bottle throws at fireplace*

Has it passed yet the banal, vacuous twittering of the ignorant?

[red devil]

*5 hours later...flushes loo, opens window...looks at ????*

I wouldn't go in there if I was you...night night

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

*hides "Razzle" behind throne and reverently dusts it down for Her Mumness"

[red devil]

*Repairs lock on lavvie door and discreetly places an Airwick behind the 'throne' to counter 'lingering smell'...*

[dulwichmum]

Albina wafts in for a touch of damp dusting but decides a total refit is in order. 3 drives past with an industrial floor sander, 2 coats of industrial floor varnish and 6 litres of Farrow & Ball Elephant's Breath later and she can finish off by damp dusting the plantation shutters.

Hurrah! Next year will be the best year ever. Looking forward to the best New Years party this postcode has ever seen (faints).

[KalamityKel]

Plantation shutters? oh dear! I fear you're slightly out of touch with the recent trend DM that's like sooooo last year!!!

[dulwichmum]

I was thinking that myself, but I really can't find a window treatment I like at the moment. What would you suggest?

[maxxi]

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I was thinking that myself, but I really can't

> find a window treatment I like at the moment. What

> would you suggest?

I'd suggest something retro yet daring-

A Windolene white-out with finger-written messages (according to season etc.) and an optional newspaper/sellotape collage over the hole where the xpelair was.

[Michael Palaeologus]

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Albina wafts in for a touch of damp dusting but

> decides a total refit is in order. 3 drives past

> with an industrial floor sander, 2 coats of

> industrial floor varnish and 6 litres of Farrow &

> Ball Elephant's Breath later.

I see that your skin care regime has become more assertive in your twilight years. Good to have you back I was rather expecting to see you in a "Those that have passed in 2013" article in People Friend.