Neighbour Advise

[Edulwich new mum]

Im a new mum to the area and moved in about 6 months ago to a first floor flat. Unfortunately my neighbour outright told me that she 'doesnt like children', which went down like a lead balloon as I have a 2yr old.Since we moved she is constantly texting us or wanted to meet up to 'discuss things' which usually turn out to be about the noise my 2yr makes. I wouldnt mind but she has parties that wake us up until 4 - 6 am in the morning and doesnt apologise.I am getting beyond my wits end - does anyone have any suggestions before I put the for sale sign up!

[hellosailor]

I sympathise, we live in a first floor flat and the downstairs neighbour has recently asked me 'is there anything you can do to stop your little girl running around because we can hear her footsteps.' (she is under 2).

[bluesuperted]

Wow, that's so sad. On the other thread (Otta's boredom thread) people said that elderly folk are treated worse by society than children... I don't know if that's true in terms of the awful things people say about young children. You wouldn't have an OAP-free pub or dare to complain to a neighbour about an elderly person, say coughing and spluttering (like my poor 85yo grandad!) all night - because you'd understand it was something that comes with that age... Similarly running about or generally making noise is a crucial part of being 2 and can't/shouldn't be stopped in its tracks... Also if you live in London, and therefore most likely in a flat, a terrace or a semi you have to be reasonable and understand there is an element of 'communalness' to your living space. I don't have any real advice but if I had neighbours like that I'd be mightily arsey to them and then refuse to enter into the debate further! There are so many stories of proper neighbours from hell out there, I think people should count their lucky stars!

[mrs f]

Better sound insulation? can you discuss sharing the cost?

A lot of the victorian conversion properties don't have adequate sound insulation due to the period in which they were converted... Depends what you have down at the min, and what is between the floorboards and the ceiling below but could be worth investigating seeing as the noise disturbance works both ways? There are certainly fairly cheap things you can do, but would involve lifting the floorboards and carpets

I'd avoid getting into too many discussions about the noise your daughter makes (if possible) as bluesuperted says 2 year olds are supposed to make noise!

[Mens]

My old neighbours were like that...

I know there is a special sound/shock absorbent (?sp) carpet you can buy as my friend had to buy it for a similar reason and it worked well. It was actually really comfy to walk on.

[oimissus]

you can call the council noise people about her parties - I don't know what they can do legally, but they will certainly have a word.

Regarding any noise your child may (or may not!) make, one thing is, if you have wooden floors, replace them with carpet. It is not great being in the flat below a wooden floorboarded flat (in fact, many leases don't allow floorboards on any other than the ground floor) - unless your soundproofing is fantastic every footstep will be audible, and there's less to absorb other noises. My aunty's upstairs neighbours (who have children) ripped up the carpets and put down wooden flooring and you can hear everything now, which is pretty depressing for her. It drives me up the wall when I'm just there for a couple of hours, God knows what it must be like to live with!

[mrs f]

You can actually put wooden floors in with the adequate sound proofing underlay, it's just often people simply sand down the old victorian floorboards and use them, which leaves only the soundproofing (if any) between the floorboards and the ceiling below. We had wooden floors in a previous flat (with permission from freeholder and downstairs) and they were just as quiet if not quieter than the carpeted rooms...

The cheapest solution is soundproofing underlay but really the best solution is to take up the floors and soundproof in-between floorboards and ceiling below, replace floorboards then soundproofing underlay and then carpet or whatever flooring on top of all that... If all that fails then downstairs can lower their ceiling and put in further soundproofing there....

[bluesuperted]

It sounds like the OP's neighbour has more problems with the general sounds of childhood rather than just the floorboard (or not?) issue - as otherwise everybody's noise would be targeted; granted I don't run around like a loon like my 2.5yo does but I do spend much of my day running up and down the stairs etc, pacing around, getting up, sitting down etc, so if I lived in a flat I'm sure I'd make almost as much walking noise as him...

[bishop]

Tell her to sod off.

OR. Get carpets, mention her noisy parties whenever she mentions your toddler's noise and call Southwark's environmental health team re: HER noise pollution.

[Edulwich new mum]

Thanks all for the advise - its the first time I have used East Dulwich forum and have been genuinely touched by how active this community is.

Thank you

[Rianoo]

I had the same problem as yourself in my place. To remedy this the floor boards were lifted and then 600mm x 2400mm boards screwed to the joists. On top of this was sound insulation mat and then the old floor relaid, screwed down so no annoying squeaks. Unfortunately it was messy and time consuming but it did the job. Plus the flat felt alot more solid under foot and possilbly warmer.

[Sol]

How come she got your mobile's number? I will ignore her; she just want you to upset you so you move away; if she doesn't like children she can go and live in the sticks.