Jump to content

Recommended Posts

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN


1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your doctor confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

_____________________________________________________

Preparing for the Birth:


1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

_____________________________________________________

The Layette:


1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

_____________________________________________________

Worries:


1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

_____________________________________________________

Dummy:


1st baby: If the dummy falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the dummy falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

______________________________________________________

Nappies:


1st baby: You change your baby's nappy every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their nappy every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their nappy before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

_____________________________________________________

Activities:


1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

______________________________________________________

Going Out:


1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

_____________ ________________________________________

At Home:


1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

______________________________________________________

Swallowing Coins:


1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his pocket money.

______________________________________________________

Link to comment
https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/30236-just-for-fun/
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • The BBC is one of the finest, if not the finest, broadcasters in the world.  They have been admired by many across the world for their journalism.  There have been numerous arrests since their recent expose on convenience shops that cover ups for criminals - money laundering, contraband,  illegal workers and the like. By no means perfect and some of what they have done in the modern world is questionable - the website often comes across as tabloid or sensationalist, as do some of their documentaries, and at times it is full of low grade game shows, fly on the wall etc which bring the punters and money, including overseas, in but is not quality TV.  In their desperation for 'balance' they've given too much air time and credibility to some more extreme views, which contributed to Brexit and some of the rise in right wing parties.  I wish they'd say 'the convicted criminal' every time they talk about Yaxley Lenon. The programme was clumsy, why it didn't go through proper clearance including the lawyers, I don't know.  But it created zero stir at the time. Zero.  And had no impact on the election, so Trump has no case.  I hope they don't cave in like many of the US corporations and media.  Oh and well done to South Park using the small p*nis defence in ridiculing him. What I expect is as the Beeb is pretty centrist in it;s reporting in riles some of those who thrive on the toxic populism we have seen since Trump mark 1 and Brexit.  How sad.
    • I understand from Pao that they are taking a short break but will be re-opening on Tuesday 25th November and also that there will be a sign in the window tomorrow, by way of confirmation. Meanwhile, greatly  missed! 
    • He is bummed he missed last forum drinks 
    • They get one thing running and another goes down!
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...