Baby number 3? Too much?

[ClareC]

OMG that is just mad! And there was me wondering whether a third May be one too many!

How does anyone afford 17 kids? The food shop must be ?500 pw alone!

[kristymac1]

Hi HOMum,

There's 5 1/2 years between my two and it definitely wasn't planned that way. I can remember a similar thread on here about 'choosing' the perfect age gap - it was a very difficult read and I commented at the time how lucky folk were to be able to choose :-(.

I wish you well and hope you find contentment in your family whatever its' size xx

HOMum Wrote:

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> I wouldn't mind the luxury of baby no 2, but it

> seems my body has other ideas and my first child

> is 4 in the Summer. I guess whatever is meant to

> be is meant to be. While I don't think this

> thread means any harm and I appreciate it is a

> light hearted chat over an open forum it makes a

> hard read for people dreaming for just their first

> or second baby to come along.

[sillywoman]

I think it was hard because the age gap was 3 1/2 years. Too big for me: I'd just started to get a bit of life back, had a lovely part time job and was thinking of the future. To go back to nappies and sleepless nights was tough - well I thought so!

[buggie]

hellosailor Wrote:

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> What did you find were the main differences

> between having 3 and 4 sillywoman? (Not that I'm

> thinking about it, as you know I'm definitely

> stopping at 2!) xx

> I met a woman a few months ago in East D who was

> pregnant with her 7th, she said 1 and 2 were hard

> but after that it was easy!

think i saw the same lady in a cafe with her youngest two who are the same ages as my 2, I felt frazzled and was having great trouble getting my toddler to eat her lunch along with the baby grumbling, she, on the other hand, was in an oasis of calm with her 2.

When I complimented her on how calm they all seemed, she mentioned they were No's 6&7 - I was gobsmacked!

[redjam]

A woman who worked in the nursery my daughters used to go to had six children - all girls. And yes, let me reiterate, she WORKED IN A NURSERY! And when she wasn't working in a nursery or looking after her own six girls, she would go on camping trips with the Girl Guides, with whom she was a pack leader.

She was a very nice lady but she used to make me feel a bit faint, tbh.

[hellosailor]

buggie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> think i saw the same lady in a cafe with her

> youngest two who are the same ages as my 2, I felt

> frazzled and was having great trouble getting my

> toddler to eat her lunch along with the baby

> grumbling, she, on the other hand, was in an oasis

> of calm with her 2.

> When I complimented her on how calm they all

> seemed, she mentioned they were No's 6&7 - I was

> gobsmacked!

Yes that would have been the same mum I think! I met her when I was frazzled with a rampaging toddler and crying baby and she was with no.6 and heavily pregnant with number 7 and having a very serene coffee with her impeccably behaved toddler and looked very unfrazzled! I was in total awe of her!

[hellosailor]

sillywoman Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think it was hard because the age gap was 3 1/2

> years. Too big for me: I'd just started to get a

> bit of life back, had a lovely part time job and

> was thinking of the future. To go back to nappies

> and sleepless nights was tough - well I thought

> so!

You're certainly making it up for it now tho! Onwaaaaaards!

[Tallulahdoesthehula]

Have been following this thread with interest as we were umming and arring whether to have another. We wanted one more but there are so many practical reasons why not...........

Anyway, decided to leave to fate and found out a couple of weeks ago that I am pregnant :-) Very early days at the moment and not telling anyone just yet (which is really hard) but if all is well we will have the dreaded 3 1/2 year age gap between the new baby and the middle one. Is it really that hard?

I have a romantic idea of number 1 at school, number 2 at pre school and me at home with just one baby which having had the first two with a small age gap, sounds a breeze ;-)

The reality I am sure is I will be juggling school runs / childcare / working but hey ho I already do that!!

How does 3 differ to 2? I've heard its easier......... (hmmm)

Scary number of you seem to have twins third time! Too early for me to know yet........

[Pickle]

Congratulations!

It sounds like your gaps will be similar to mine - when #3 arrived my eldest had started in reception, #2 was in school nursery 5 mornings a week. I've got 3.5 years between second and third.

As I had a small gap between my first two, I found having just one baby at home a breeze, as you say. It helped that she was very chilled out, but my mornings once the older two were at school were just lovely - I didn't rush out to playgroups when she was small, so we spent lots of time drinking coffee and watching morning TV! School runs no bother, and for ages when I got home from the morning run my baby then slept for an hour, result!

I haven't found a huge difference having 3, although am starting to notice the quantity of food we eat in a week increasing (probably more to do with #1 finally having a growth spurt and eating 2 or 3 helpings of every meal). My two girls are very close now that the youngest is able to join in with her sisters games. We didn't have to buy a new car, can fit three seats in the back of our car no problem.

Wishing you all the best for the early stages of this pregnancy x

[Tallulahdoesthehula]

Thank you Pickle,

It sounds like we will have exactly the same age gaps :-)

My eldest starts school in September and my youngest will be in the school nursery 4 days from then. Number 3 due Jan.

I have a boy and girl and still have kept lots of clothes / toys / baby things /cot. Like you we wont need to change the car either. I do however need to research buggies and car seats again!

Really pleased and excited although feel huge already and like its obvious - which my husband denies (trained well).

Silly I know but I refuse to retrieve the maternity wear from the loft until I am post 12 weeks! Fortunately clothes all fitting fine so far (just feel big!).

[louloulabelle]

Hi

We have 3 kids, Five, Three and a half and a 21month old. Cons: I find it hard as we have no real support network and absolutely no family nearby or whom we visit that much or visit us to help out so it can be tough. Husband works full time and I am a SAHM. Logistics is always my bugbear especially now the toddler never wants to be in his buggy and wants to 'walk' everywhere and we have to do 3 school runs in the car everyday. Food bills seem to be massive, someone always needs new clothes/shoes, we live in a two bedroom flat and all 3 now share a room. Squabbling, bickering and inability to share..cost of taking 3 anywhere! restaurants, cinema... anywhere you have to pay for them individually it adds up quickly and can put you off venturing to some attractions etc.

Having to get a bigger car that properly accommodated 3 different car seats and had big enough boot for pushchair and shopping!!!. Taking care to ensure all 3 have their own needs met and individual time with me and hubby and not always treating them as a troupe.

Pros: I love all 3 to bits, they are very different to each other and I'm fascinated by their developing charters.

When they are getting along and playing nicely its a joy to behold and they entertain each other really well on occasion and I can't imagine any of them being an only child. Now we have them I can't imagine any more or any less but I'm definitely sticking at 3. They are very protective of each other when out and great company for each other.

Its a very personal decision. It can be done in all sorts of circumstances, you just make it work but all I would say is that if you don't have lots of help or the access to nannies/au pairs etc then do think about how much you yourself are giving up. As a couple we hardly ever get to go out now, not many friends want to babysit for 3 and by the time we've paid a babysitter we can't afford to actually go out !. My week is spent entirely driving the kids to where they need to be and entertaining them when at home etc so there is very very little 'me' time. It can drive you crazy but everyones circumstances are different and each day is different!.

But after saying all that which all seems a bit negative reading it back I can't imagine life any different and for us 3 is the perfect number!. We have some pretty strict routines for mornings and evenings which is the only way i can cope with getting all 3 out the door and to bed and we have to be far more organised than we would have ever have liked to be to make life easier but once you've done it for a while it just becomes a way of life and as the kids get older they start to understand those routines and help out a bit.

Good luck with your decision. x