Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hi HOMum,

There's 5 1/2 years between my two and it definitely wasn't planned that way. I can remember a similar thread on here about 'choosing' the perfect age gap - it was a very difficult read and I commented at the time how lucky folk were to be able to choose :-(.

I wish you well and hope you find contentment in your family whatever its' size xx


HOMum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I wouldn't mind the luxury of baby no 2, but it

> seems my body has other ideas and my first child

> is 4 in the Summer. I guess whatever is meant to

> be is meant to be. While I don't think this

> thread means any harm and I appreciate it is a

> light hearted chat over an open forum it makes a

> hard read for people dreaming for just their first

> or second baby to come along.

hellosailor Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What did you find were the main differences

> between having 3 and 4 sillywoman? (Not that I'm

> thinking about it, as you know I'm definitely

> stopping at 2!) xx

> I met a woman a few months ago in East D who was

> pregnant with her 7th, she said 1 and 2 were hard

> but after that it was easy!


think i saw the same lady in a cafe with her youngest two who are the same ages as my 2, I felt frazzled and was having great trouble getting my toddler to eat her lunch along with the baby grumbling, she, on the other hand, was in an oasis of calm with her 2.

When I complimented her on how calm they all seemed, she mentioned they were No's 6&7 - I was gobsmacked!

A woman who worked in the nursery my daughters used to go to had six children - all girls. And yes, let me reiterate, she WORKED IN A NURSERY! And when she wasn't working in a nursery or looking after her own six girls, she would go on camping trips with the Girl Guides, with whom she was a pack leader.


She was a very nice lady but she used to make me feel a bit faint, tbh.

buggie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> think i saw the same lady in a cafe with her

> youngest two who are the same ages as my 2, I felt

> frazzled and was having great trouble getting my

> toddler to eat her lunch along with the baby

> grumbling, she, on the other hand, was in an oasis

> of calm with her 2.

> When I complimented her on how calm they all

> seemed, she mentioned they were No's 6&7 - I was

> gobsmacked!


Yes that would have been the same mum I think! I met her when I was frazzled with a rampaging toddler and crying baby and she was with no.6 and heavily pregnant with number 7 and having a very serene coffee with her impeccably behaved toddler and looked very unfrazzled! I was in total awe of her!

sillywoman Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think it was hard because the age gap was 3 1/2

> years. Too big for me: I'd just started to get a

> bit of life back, had a lovely part time job and

> was thinking of the future. To go back to nappies

> and sleepless nights was tough - well I thought

> so!


You're certainly making it up for it now tho! Onwaaaaaards!

  • 2 weeks later...

Have been following this thread with interest as we were umming and arring whether to have another. We wanted one more but there are so many practical reasons why not...........


Anyway, decided to leave to fate and found out a couple of weeks ago that I am pregnant :-) Very early days at the moment and not telling anyone just yet (which is really hard) but if all is well we will have the dreaded 3 1/2 year age gap between the new baby and the middle one. Is it really that hard?


I have a romantic idea of number 1 at school, number 2 at pre school and me at home with just one baby which having had the first two with a small age gap, sounds a breeze ;-)


The reality I am sure is I will be juggling school runs / childcare / working but hey ho I already do that!!


How does 3 differ to 2? I've heard its easier......... (hmmm)


Scary number of you seem to have twins third time! Too early for me to know yet........

Congratulations!


It sounds like your gaps will be similar to mine - when #3 arrived my eldest had started in reception, #2 was in school nursery 5 mornings a week. I've got 3.5 years between second and third.


As I had a small gap between my first two, I found having just one baby at home a breeze, as you say. It helped that she was very chilled out, but my mornings once the older two were at school were just lovely - I didn't rush out to playgroups when she was small, so we spent lots of time drinking coffee and watching morning TV! School runs no bother, and for ages when I got home from the morning run my baby then slept for an hour, result!


I haven't found a huge difference having 3, although am starting to notice the quantity of food we eat in a week increasing (probably more to do with #1 finally having a growth spurt and eating 2 or 3 helpings of every meal). My two girls are very close now that the youngest is able to join in with her sisters games. We didn't have to buy a new car, can fit three seats in the back of our car no problem.


Wishing you all the best for the early stages of this pregnancy x

Thank you Pickle,


It sounds like we will have exactly the same age gaps :-)


My eldest starts school in September and my youngest will be in the school nursery 4 days from then. Number 3 due Jan.


I have a boy and girl and still have kept lots of clothes / toys / baby things /cot. Like you we wont need to change the car either. I do however need to research buggies and car seats again!


Really pleased and excited although feel huge already and like its obvious - which my husband denies (trained well).


Silly I know but I refuse to retrieve the maternity wear from the loft until I am post 12 weeks! Fortunately clothes all fitting fine so far (just feel big!).

Hi

We have 3 kids, Five, Three and a half and a 21month old. Cons: I find it hard as we have no real support network and absolutely no family nearby or whom we visit that much or visit us to help out so it can be tough. Husband works full time and I am a SAHM. Logistics is always my bugbear especially now the toddler never wants to be in his buggy and wants to 'walk' everywhere and we have to do 3 school runs in the car everyday. Food bills seem to be massive, someone always needs new clothes/shoes, we live in a two bedroom flat and all 3 now share a room. Squabbling, bickering and inability to share..cost of taking 3 anywhere! restaurants, cinema... anywhere you have to pay for them individually it adds up quickly and can put you off venturing to some attractions etc.


Having to get a bigger car that properly accommodated 3 different car seats and had big enough boot for pushchair and shopping!!!. Taking care to ensure all 3 have their own needs met and individual time with me and hubby and not always treating them as a troupe.


Pros: I love all 3 to bits, they are very different to each other and I'm fascinated by their developing charters.

When they are getting along and playing nicely its a joy to behold and they entertain each other really well on occasion and I can't imagine any of them being an only child. Now we have them I can't imagine any more or any less but I'm definitely sticking at 3. They are very protective of each other when out and great company for each other.


Its a very personal decision. It can be done in all sorts of circumstances, you just make it work but all I would say is that if you don't have lots of help or the access to nannies/au pairs etc then do think about how much you yourself are giving up. As a couple we hardly ever get to go out now, not many friends want to babysit for 3 and by the time we've paid a babysitter we can't afford to actually go out !. My week is spent entirely driving the kids to where they need to be and entertaining them when at home etc so there is very very little 'me' time. It can drive you crazy but everyones circumstances are different and each day is different!.


But after saying all that which all seems a bit negative reading it back I can't imagine life any different and for us 3 is the perfect number!. We have some pretty strict routines for mornings and evenings which is the only way i can cope with getting all 3 out the door and to bed and we have to be far more organised than we would have ever have liked to be to make life easier but once you've done it for a while it just becomes a way of life and as the kids get older they start to understand those routines and help out a bit.


Good luck with your decision. x

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Denmark Hill to Clapham Junction then pick up the 345 from Falcon Road ( exit Clapham Junction Station from the back entrance) The overground will terminate on platform one anyway so you're already on that side of the station. The 345 bit should take you approximately 30 minutes and the overground from Denmark Hill to CJ approximately 15 minutes. All the best!!
    • I would go to Victoria (185 bus or Southern Rail) then get either a bus from there to Chelsea Town hall (I think it may be the C1 but I'm not sure..I moved from that area over 25 years ago) and the Royal Marsden is a short walk from there. OR get a Underground from Victoria to Sloane square and a Taxi from there to Royal Marsden..It would'nt cost much because its a few mins away..or a bus from Sloane Square to Chelsea Town Hall or Fulham Rd/Sydney St 
    • I don't know how the law works, nor what rules cover what doctors can and can't say in their professional and private (?personal?) capacities,  but on the face of it I agree that some of the comments quoted are unacceptable, to say the least. However, in the context of the subject of this thread,  I think it is important to differentiate between antisemitism ("hostility to or prejudice against Jewish people") and hostility to  the Israeli government's apparent attempted genocide of Palestinian civilians in retribution for the appalling attack on Israeli civilians by Hamas. I might be completely wrong here, and naive, and I am sure someone will correct me if I am, but it seems to me to be as if the English government had started trying to annihilate the whole of the  Irish population because of the IRA bombings in the nineties. I also realise that there is a whole historic background to the Palestine/Israel thing, but I am not familiar with it. Anyway, I and everyone I know who has taken part in any of the recent marches has done so to try to get our government to stop supporting genocide, not because they are antisemitic. And yes there are other awful things going on in the world, and always have been. I can't fight all of them. One of my brothers has taken in three generations of  a Ukrainian family. ETA: Do you really think it is OK to refer to people as "blacks"? Or am I wrong about that as well, and there is some reason why it is acceptable?
    • An abridged version of the article I posted:    The health secretary is preparing to overhaul medical regulators — the General Medical Council (GMC) and Medical Practitioners Tribunal Service (MPTS) — after being appalled by a series of cases in which doctors have escaped disciplinary action. Streeting told The Times: “It is clear that the current medical regulatory system is completely failing to protect Jewish patients and NHS staff.”   Doctors have been let off after spreading antisemitic tropes including claiming that Britain is “controlled by Jewish supremacy”, and claiming the architect of the attack was a “legend”. Some medics have ramped up their activity in the days after the Manchester synagogue attack.   A spokesman for the Campaign Against Antisemitism said: “Time and again, doctors who spew antisemitic bile online and in the streets are being allowed to continue practising medicine, as though calls for hatred and violence are compatible with the duty to care for others.”   Doctor who called Jews ‘worse than Nazis’ cleared Dr Rahmeh Aladwan was investigated over her social media posts, including one that stated that Israelis were “worse” than the Nazis and a claim that the “Royal Free Hospital in London is a Jewish supremacy cesspit”. Since escaping suspension by the MPTS, Aladwan has posted incessantly about Jews and Israel.   She suggested the media’s focus on the Manchester synagogue attack was an example of “Jewish supremacism”. The day after the attack Aladwan shared an image of Britain’s chief rabbi, Ephraim Mirvis, with the words “rabbi genocide” emblazoned on his forehead. On Saturday, she tweeted: “Glory to the Palestinian armed resistance. Death to ‘Israel’.” Aladwan has been a member of the proscribed group Palestine Action, and has shared claims that Streeting is a “Zionist ghoul” funded by “the genocidal ‘Israel’ lobby”. At a rally earlier this year, she said that “Palestinian people who are fighting for liberation, including armed struggle” are “heroes, every single one of them”. “We are proud of our armed resistance and in Islam we call that jihad. That’s an honour. That’s how you defend your people,” she added.   The MPTS ruled that no suspension was necessary, arguing her comments would not “alarm or concern” members of the public.    On Monday night, the CAA announced that it had notified the GMC of its intent to challenge the decision not to impose the condition on Aladwan while she is under investigation. It said that her case was “one of the most egregious examples we have encountered of a regulator failing in its duty to protect the public”.   One of Aladwan’s key supporters is Dr Rehiana Ali, a consultant neurologist who was reinstated by a medical tribunal this year after describing the architect of the October 7 attacks as a “legend”, calling for Israel to be “dismantled”, and claiming that 9/11 was conducted by Mossad.   Ali has made several controversial comments in the wake of the Manchester synagogue terrorist attack, and has claimed that Streeting was an “Israeli puppet”. On October 4, she quoted a post calling for Israel to be abolished and claiming that Hamas had “done nothing to apologise for”, adding: “Agree 100%.” On October 2, about eight hours before the attack, she quoted the same post and said: “Armed resistance is the only solution.”   Ali defended her comments and told The Times that she did not believe in Israel’s right to exist. She said: “It is outrageous that the CAA weaponises an unfortunate incident to continue its defamatory attacks on doctors with a moral conscience for political ends.” Hundreds of complaints over antisemitic doctors Nearly 500 complaints of antisemitism relating to 123 doctors have been submitted to the GMC since the Hamas attacks on October 7, 2023. Of these, 84 per cent were closed at the triage stage, according to figures obtained by Jewish News in July. The rare cases where complaints have led to disciplinary action include that of Dr Manoj Sen, an NHS surgeon. Last month he was struck off for making a string of antisemitic social media comments, including referring to a Jewish man as “circumcised vermin”.   The doctor, who was working as a surgeon at Northwick Park Hospital in London, commented on a Facebook post shortly after the October 7 attacks, using the word “untermenschen” — German for subhuman — as well as the phrases “Jewish c***” and “Jew boy”. Sen also referred to the Auschwitz concentration camp along with the German phrase “Die Juden sind unsere Ungluck”, meaning “the Jews are our misfortune”.   Others have escaped serious sanctions after being reported for antisemitism. In February, Dr Kamran Ahmed, a Wolverhampton-based GP, was not struck off but given a formal warning after posting material described by the GMC as “objectively antisemitic and seriously offensive”. This included sharing a post which said: “The Israeli flag is modern-day swastika”. Dr Ellen Kriesels, a consultant paediatrician at Whittington Hospital, remains on the GMC register despite spending months making openly making racist claims. On her X account, Kriesels has claimed that “virtually every Jew has some feelings of supremacy”. The Whittington Health Trust has previously said that it was investigating and that Kriesels was not working.     Jewish doctors ‘are afraid at work’ Jewish doctors have warned that the institutional failures to tackle antisemitism extend to the British Medical Association (BMA). Those attending the BMA’s annual conference in June warned that they “feared for their safety”.    There have been widespread reports of antisemitic incidents in hospitals. In August, the University College London Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust issued an apology over posters claiming “Zionism is Poison”. A Jewish patient who was undergoing major tests at the hospital and felt “angry, distressed and upset” after seeing some of the posters, adding: “I shouldn’t have to remove my Star of David necklace to go to a hospital visit.” Concerns have been raised at at least two NHS trusts about staff wearing pro-Palestine symbols, such as lanyards in the design of a keffiyeh and badges that say “Free Palestine”. I don't have any skin in the game with what's happening in the Middle East (most likely like many on this forum) and I stand by my clearly stated opinion on other threads that neither Hamas, nor Israel, has clean hands.  What I do care about is what happens on British soil and the idea of any ethnic group in this country - with its supposed history of tolerance and inclusion - being afraid for their lives.  There can be little doubt that the rhetoric of many on these marches fuels the killing that we saw last week.  Don't share a platform with anti Semites.  If you care so much about a community being starved, abused, bombed and oppressed, why not march for Ukraine (where we do have skin in the game), or the 150,000 blacks murdered in Sudan as well? It makes no sense to me.     
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...