Tree Killer – Seeking Advice on Dealing with Toxic Neighbours

[Jasonlondon]

For the past 15 years, I’ve been subjected to persistent passive-aggressive bullying and harassment by my upstairs neighbours. Their behaviour has included tampering with my plants, opening bin bags and questioning me about their contents, and interfering with misdelivered post — some of which appeared to have been opened. There has also been consistent noise disruption, like loud door banging and deliberately dropping heavy objects. They often laugh or stare at me when I’m in the garden, creating a constant sense of intimidation.

Much of their conduct is subtle and hard to prove, often falling into a grey area that could easily be dismissed as paranoia, which makes it even more distressing. In the early years, I sometimes responded, but I realised this only seemed to encourage them. Since then, I’ve tried to remain calm and avoid confrontation — but unfortunately, this seems to have escalated things.

After the recent death of a close family member, they left a condolence note, which at first seemed kind — but it came with a request to cut back my laurel bush, which I maintain for privacy, as I often feel watched in my own garden. The timing and nature of the request felt inappropriate. Still, I arranged for a gardening service and slightly reduced the laurel, though likely not as much as they wanted.

Shortly after, one neighbour commented on how lovely one of my potted plants looked — which struck me as unusual, since we’ve barely spoken in years. Just days later, they told me the same plant looked like it was dying and asked if they should water it. Soon after, it rapidly turned yellow, brittle, and died — in a way that looked clearly unnatural. From photos, it appears the plant was poisoned, likely with a chemical weed killer.

Access to that area is restricted — it’s behind a locked front gate monitored by a Smart CCTV camera. No one else had access, and it would be very difficult for someone to climb over the wall unnoticed. Given the timing and condition of the plant, I strongly suspect it was deliberately poisoned.

I brought this up in a chat with my next-door neighbours, and they revealed they’d lost three trees along the same fence line over the past few months. One of them had previously been asked for access to cut back those very trees. One of the affected trees was a mature silver birch, whose sudden death should leave chemical evidence if tested.

I’ve reported the incident to the Environment Agency and requested soil testing to check for toxins. The police have also been notified. I’ve installed another CCTV camera for additional monitoring. I’m not looking for confrontation — I just want to live peacefully and without further interference. But their behaviour continues to feel calculated and harassing.

Has anyone experienced anything similar? What steps would you recommend next? I feel at a loss as to how to protect my space and sanity.

[HeadNun]

I have no advice for you, but I'm sorry you're going through this. It's highly distressing and I just can't fathom why some people are so horrible. 

[Jasonlondon]

10 minutes ago, HeadNun said:

I have no advice for you, but I'm sorry you're going through this. It's highly distressing and I just can't fathom why some people are so horrible. 

Thank you, finding out they'd done the same to three of my neighbor’s trees made it a bit easier to accept — it wasn’t just me they were targeting; they’re just toxic people in general.

[Angelina]

Hard to get evidence for what has happened, but going forward, get cctv evidence of trespass and any interference, ask you other neighbours to as well.

Contact solicitor and report to police and council.

get more plants to replace those destroyed

[Sue]

Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help, as they have connections with various relevant people/organisations.

Your GP surgery may have access to a "social prescriber" who can similarly help.  I was referred to the  one attached to my GP surgery when I was very stressed with external issues.

There used to be a community police officer in every neighbourhood, and if they still exist, I would say they should be your first port of call.

I'm so sorry. It is so stressful living with nasty neighbours, although I agree finding out that other neighbours have also had issues with them at least makes you feel that it is not just you they are targeting.

As regards the apparently poisoned plants and trees, if you know someone who is a member of the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society), they have access to a free advice service, who I'm sure could help pinpoint the likely cause of death.

Unfortunately I didn't renew my membership this year, otherwise I would have offered to help.

Edited Tuesday at 11:41 by Sue

[Jasonlondon]

1 minute ago, Sue said:

Citizens Advice Bureau may be able to help, as they have connections with various relevant people/organisations.

Your GP surgery may have access to a "social prescriber" who can similarly help.  I was referred to the  one attached to my GP surgery when I was very stressed with fairly similar issues.

There used to be a community police officer in every neighborhood, and if they still exist, I would say they should be your first port of call.

I'm so sorry. It is so stressful living with nasty neighbours, although I agree finding out that other neighbours have also had issues with them at least makes you feel that it is not just you they are targeting.

As regards the apparently poisoned plants and trees, if you know someone who is a member of the RHS (Royal Horticultural Society), they have access to a free advice service, who I'm sure could help pinpoint the likely cause of death.

Unfortunately I didn't renew my membership this year, otherwise I would have offered to help.

Thank you

[Dulwichlass]

Hey, really sorry to hear you are going through this. Do you live alone? Could you get a family member or friend to move in for a while and see if that changes the dynamic. 

[Jasonlondon]

15 minutes ago, Dulwichlass said:

Hey, really sorry to hear you are going through this. Do you live alone? Could you get a family member or friend to move in for a while and see if that changes the dynamic. 

I live alone, with all my family abroad. I'm grateful for the support I've received from the Southwark ASBU Team and now also from the comments here

[malumbu]

Neighbourhood police, they often get called in for neighbourhood 'disputes', although if you have been Southwark ASBU perhaps you have already explored this

[vladi]

Using the smart CCTV cameras is your best strategy - particularly if they have adequate infra-red capability. Setting them to be triggered by line crossing or areas of intrusion is worthwhile setting up as is linking them to a PIR sensor. The PIR could also be used to activate a sounder but that might upset your other neighbours. I have a few cameras around our property and I enjoy reviewing the recordings and apart from foxes and birds, I catch the occasional opportunistic thief on camera - like this one last Tuesday. If you need any help, please drop me a PM.

[Mabaker]

 

You might be interested in watching this video on you tube. It's from a wildlife gardener called Joel Ashton who regularly posts about his work in that area. Being interested in that kind of thing I follow him a lot. Anyway, a few days ago he posted about his plants being deliberately poisoned allegedly by his neighbour. He is going through the process of taking legal action and videoing this journey. There is another follow up which he posted a couple of days ago . It might be helpful to you. I think I should point out that the alleged culprit is not identified on the video so not breaking any privacy laws in sharing this.

 

[Jasonlondon]

10 hours ago, Mabaker said:

 

You might be interested in watching this video on you tube. It's from a wildlife gardener called Joel Ashton who regularly posts about his work in that area. Being interested in that kind of thing I follow him a lot. Anyway, a few days ago he posted about his plants being deliberately poisoned allegedly by his neighbour. He is going through the process of taking legal action and videoing this journey. There is another follow up which he posted a couple of days ago . It might be helpful to you. I think I should point out that the alleged culprit is not identified on the video so not breaking any privacy laws in sharing this.

 

Wow, thank you—both for this and for all the DMs I’ve received. A few people have figured out who this is and shared that they’ve had issues with her too, albeit in different situations. Many have said there’s something that just feels off in their interactions with her—very inauthentic, possibly even suggestive of a personality disorder.

Knowing that others have had similar experiences makes it feel a lot less personal, and honestly, it’s helping me cope.

[Mabaker]

So glad to give support in any small way. It happens more often than you think. I live near a footpath anf once came home from holiday to find that someone had poured paint through the bottom of the fence which had run all down through my soil and on to my plants. It was a job trying to dig out all the contaminated soil and to this day I still find bits of paint in the soil. No idea who it was or why they would do such a thing.

[Jasonlondon]

On 10/06/2025 at 11:19, HeadNun said:

I have no advice for you, but I'm sorry you're going through this. It's highly distressing and I just can't fathom why some people are so horrible. 

NPD

[Sue]

1 hour ago, Jasonlondon said:

NPD

From what you have described, it doesn't sound like NPD, at least from the description of it I just googled, though it is certainly possible that your neighbour has some kind of disorder.

[Jasonlondon]

10 minutes ago, Sue said:

From what you have described, it doesn't sound like NPD, at least from the description of it I just googled, though it is certainly possible that your neighbour has some kind of disorder.

There definitely seems to be some kind of disorder at play. This person constantly craves attention—whether it's positive or negative and shows an inflated sense of self. There are no boundaries, and a complete lack of empathy is pretty evident.

[Pugwash]

Are you a home owner or renter? Are the upstairs neighbours owners or renters?

If renting - may be a Housing Association tenant or council. The fact that you have support from ASBU can be in your favour especially if the upstairs tenant is council. Safer Neighbourhood Police Team often work closely with the ASBU and I have been  to SNT meetings where an officer from ASBU also attended. 

We have been lucky as the vast majority of our neighbours have been very good. Only difficult one was a  mum with 2 young children who had a habit of throwing shoes/toys/bricks over the back fence. We had an elderly partially sighted relative living with us at the time and the kids made her their target. We had several words with the mother to very limited success. When other neighbours raised concerns, we found that social services were involved as the children were on the risk register.