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Mr Wee Quinnie has just been chatting to our 83 yr old next door neighbour, and said to her in a patronising way:


"We saw Lily Allen up in town a coupla nights back. Do you know who she is..."


To which our neighbour shot back with "Pink or brunette?".


Then proceeded to fill MR WQ in on the latest news on Madonna getting divorced etc., etc....

This morning a chit of a girl sitting opposite me on the bus was applying that black stuff they put round their eyelashes.

She was using a thin pointed brush affair to administer it. Concerned I told her that if the bus hit a pothole she could have her eye out.


What did i get for my trouble? A curt f@ck off, that's what I got for my trouble.


I don't know.

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I would join in this discussion, but I am looking

> for my teeth, I think they dropped out of the

> glass and are under the bed.


Look, look there they are MP, next to the jerry.

I remember when I was a lad the word gay was used in church, now as like as not, you would be referring to the vicar.


Faggots were horrible meat balls with lots of gristley bits.


Dykes kept the animals in or the flood water out.


Plate, was something you got florins on and passed to the vicar, now it's a sexually deviant pastime for lucky young ba stards who have yet to pay their dues I'll be bound.

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Did I mention National Service?


EH!!?? WHAT? Natural cervix?? Kindly keep that sort of talk confined to the marital boudoir.


You're not on the radio with that ruddy Vanessa Feltz you know.

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