The Old Fogies Thread

[HonaloochieB]

The other day I saw a young fellow wearing gold-coloured plimsoles.

Bold as you like.

God help us if there's a war, that's all I can say.

[HonaloochieB]

On the same day I noticed a young woman smoking while walking down the street. Shameless.

In my day she'd have been given a good ticking off by a rozzer.

Country's going to the dogs.

[Brendan]

Yeah, what are they going to do, jessie Gerry to death?

[mockney piers]

..and when was the last time you saw a cravat, waistcoat and decent brogues combination? tsk.

[HonaloochieB]

Brogues, don't make me laugh!

The youth of today are content to wear plimsoles all the time.

Even in church.

[david_carnell]

I'm sorry, we've clearly not met.

I draw the line at cravat (I'm not that brave....yet) but have a decent line in brogues and waistcoats.

Do I qualify as "youth" though at a rapidly ageing 25?

[HonaloochieB]

DC, 25 year olds qualify as 'bits of kids'.

No offence.

[david_carnell]

I presume I'm adult from the neck down, and childlike from the neck up?

None taken!

[wee quinnie]

Mr Wee Quinnie has just been chatting to our 83 yr old next door neighbour, and said to her in a patronising way:

"We saw Lily Allen up in town a coupla nights back. Do you know who she is..."

To which our neighbour shot back with "Pink or brunette?".

Then proceeded to fill MR WQ in on the latest news on Madonna getting divorced etc., etc....

[SeanMacGabhann]

that's excellent wee quinnie! >:D<

big smile near the end of the working day

[HonaloochieB]

This morning a chit of a girl sitting opposite me on the bus was applying that black stuff they put round their eyelashes.

She was using a thin pointed brush affair to administer it. Concerned I told her that if the bus hit a pothole she could have her eye out.

What did i get for my trouble? A curt f@ck off, that's what I got for my trouble.

I don't know.

[Michael Palaeologus]

I would join in this discussion, but I am looking for my teeth, I think they dropped out of the glass and are under the bed.

Does anybody remember Muffin the Mule? Of course its illegal now.

[bob]

MP

I thought that was the reason Noddy got thrown out of Toy Land

Bob S

[HonaloochieB]

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

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> I would join in this discussion, but I am looking

> for my teeth, I think they dropped out of the

> glass and are under the bed.

Look, look there they are MP, next to the jerry.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Jerry! Jerry! Where?! I'll get the blighter! Where's my Lewis gun? Must be with the teeth.

I was in the war you know. Mass slaughter, starvation and global cataclysm.

The good old days.

[HonaloochieB]

I know MP, I died in the war.

But you tell the kids today and they don't believe you.

[Guest]

The grown men are worse. Do they stand up respectfully when a woman enters the room? Do they stand back to let you get on the train safely in your kitten heels? Do they offer you their seat with a cheerful smile and ready 'please, take mine'?

Do they buggery.

[SteveT]

I remember when I was a lad the word gay was used in church, now as like as not, you would be referring to the vicar.

Faggots were horrible meat balls with lots of gristley bits.

Dykes kept the animals in or the flood water out.

Plate, was something you got florins on and passed to the vicar, now it's a sexually deviant pastime for lucky young ba stards who have yet to pay their dues I'll be bound.

[Guest]

Bring back smog, that'd stop them hanging around the streets in the evening.

[Michael Palaeologus]

National Service.

Then the youngsters can use up their excess energy in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Didnt do my generation any harm, well, those of them came back that is.

[Michael Palaeologus]

National Service.

Then the youngsters can use up their excess energy in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Didnt do my generation any harm, well, those of them that came back that is.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Did I mention National Service?

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Stop using the aluminium pans, Michael, they don't help the Alzheimer's.

Get a woman in to cook, like in the old days.

[HonaloochieB]

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

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> Did I mention National Service?

EH!!?? WHAT? Natural cervix?? Kindly keep that sort of talk confined to the marital boudoir.

You're not on the radio with that ruddy Vanessa Feltz you know.

[Guest]

Didn't have a cervix back then: you had a *hushed tone* "front bottom". That and *equally hushed tone, this time with Les Dawson-style gurning* "women's trouble" covered all that needed to be said on the matter.