Offered: Tea-Leaf Reading (Lounged)

[Keef]

Yeah right Piers, have you any idea how much energy it takes to boil a kettle?

Earth killer!

[*Bob*]

Madame *Bob* regrets that she cannot correspond with any of you directly.

Please ring the automated premium-rate number to receive your personalised reading.

[mockney piers]

cold tea Keef, cold tea...mmmmmmm

[Jah Lush]

Huguenot Wrote:

I would be honoured to polish their stools.

I think you're onto something here. This could be a very lucrative market.

[Brendan]

Ahh this is nice isn?t it. A bit like watching two children squabble over who gets to go on the swing.

[HonaloochieB]

The mocking of earth-bound clods passes me by like the idle wind. I heed it not.

Waiting for the Rapture.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I think the Rapture occured about 6 pm yesterday outside Dominos Pizzas. There was a pair of plimsolls languishing on the pavement. Only rational explanation really.

[Brendan]

I don?t suppose you saw what happened to them PGC? Only I got up there and ended up having an argument with St Peter about the theological plausibility of a 2000 year old Galilean fisherman standing on a cloud in front of a set of gates with a sign on them saying, ?Paradise. Don?t feed the pigeons.?

He called me a mouthy little gobshite banished me back to earth and it?s awful cold without my shoes.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Good old Pete, solid as rock that geezer. I left them there Bren, a solitary and salutary finger wag to us sinners to mend our ways.

[mockney piers]

He doesn't literally stand on a cloud you fool, it's actually a floor with lots of dry ice to give the moment of judgement that needed theatrical gravitas.

Of course some bespectacled, angelic bureaucrat has already totalled up the gold and black marks and worked out your destiny.

He sits at a desk on a cloud of course.....with a harp....

[Brendan]

Sounds chilly. I hope he's wearing thick socks.

[Keef]

Do they drink Harp up there?

Can you get Les Paul harps?

[Brendan]

Is that a type of french pale ale?

[Keef]

Yes, and it's plural, so plenty for everyone. Hurrah :)-D

I hope there's a power supply for my Marshall!

[Keef]

In fact, if you say it in French, it would saound like Lay Paul, which makes Paul a lucker git!

[citizenED]

Oh, goody, *Bob* spots a sitting target, takes aim with his almighty cynic cannon and blasts away. He hits. Deja vu?

[MadWorld74]

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> A genius post for sure - I was actually in a

> comedy club when I was notified about the

> kerfuffle around the thread, and I laughed out

> loud when I read it. Kudos *Bob*

>

> I will agree with Sue, Madworld74 and the various

> PM'ers who appear too shy to support them in

> public inasmuch as the threads in Wanted section

> shouldn't be invaded by us cynics. The Reiki share

> group has been going for some time without anyone

> wading in with their size 9s which is think is

> decent and respectful

>

> HOWEVER

>

> Outside those threads we should be able to call it

> what it is - arrant nonsense.

>

> Complete the following sentence:

>

> "Without Astrology/Reiki/Tealeaf-Reading we would

> be unable to..."

>

> I can think of two possible responses

>

> 1) "We don't need poetry etc but the world would

> be a duller place without them." Which is true..

> but it assumes we are to take the practices above

> as artforms and tehrefore subject to the same

> critical reviews

>

> 2) "Astrology/Reiki/Tealeaf-Reading etc provides

> me and others with comfort and hope and guidance."

> But you can say that about ANYTHING - some people

> find solace in teddy bears but you don't, to my

> knowledge, get to claim any great input to the

> human condition or need any "qualifications" to do

> so. And in any case, all of the events which the

> practices "help" with will happen anyway

>

> But I'm open to genuine answers from Sue and

> MadWorld and any others. Really - if I'm missing

> out on something I want to know

>

> I will say I take personal offence at being called

> a flat-earther. The fact that it seems impossible

> to debate reason with some practitioners doesn't

> make me all that keen to enter a debate.. to the

> question "so what if people have readings?" I can

> only reply I'm not that bothered if you go and

> have a reading - but talking about it in public

> means it will elicit response. But disagree as I

> might, I'm not endeared to anyone who needs to

> respond

>

> "Go sit on your flat earth and stick your teapots

> up your arses.

> (Not edited once for swearing or bad language)

> "

>

> and who takes pride in not editing for swearing or

> bad language - enough to make it clear!!

>

> i don't know much about Reiki Madworld, but I

> understand you are a practitioner and isn't the

> deal with reiki that it leads to some form of

> inner peace (I'm paraphrasing so please don't rip

> me a new one to say how little I know) - all I'm

> saying is I don't often see much evidence of said

> inner-peace

Dear SMG, I have lots of inner peace. I just choose not to share it with the cynical people on this forum. XX

[HonaloochieB]

citizenED Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Oh, goody, *Bob* spots a sitting target, takes aim

> with his almighty cynic cannon and blasts away. He

> hits. Deja vu?

I know, good innee?

[Keef]

But if you're at peace, then surely you are just at peace. Seems strange to turn peace on and off.

[*Bob*]

peace off, Keef

[Jeremy]

Serious question - does anybody know people who take tea-leaves/tarot cards/horoscopes/palm reading/crystal balls seriously?

I'm sure people have visited fortune-tellers out of curiosity, or for a bit of fun. And that's fine with me. But does anyone know of someone who would make a big life-changing decision as a result of all this?

I'm asking because, while most of us are aware of the dangers of certain other superstitious activities, surely fortune-tellers etc are just taken light-heartedly by all concerned??

[Keef]

Good question Jeremy.

Mrs Keef's mate does tarot readings, and Mrs Keef has been read a few times, but it's just for fun I think. She has told me the cards suggested something or other, but I am pretty sure (I hope) that she wouldn't make a decision based on the advise of some cards!

[*Bob*]

I had my palm read by Mrs *Bob*'s Christian, palm-reading cousin not long back. Many in her family have.. er.. the gift.

I quite enjoyed it. She was pretty good. I was drunk at the time, obviously. We all were, in fact.

If only there were more Christian palm-readers of her ilk out there, and less of the ones you wish would fall down an uncovered manhole, the world would be a better place.

[SeanMacGabhann]

That'll show THEM eh MW?

[mockney piers]

Yeah you cynics, there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Of course that was said by a murdering psychopath who spoke to himself a lot (first sign of madness), saw ghosts and befriended skulls, but you know...