What to do about poss Nightmares/Bad Dreams

[stellakis]

Just wondering if anyone has any useful advice about how to solve nightmare/bad dream issues.

My son is nearly 6 and says: "he's scared of going to sleep, worried about closing his eyes, doesn't want to sleep, wants me to stay in his room, wants me to sleep in his bed", etc etc. The trouble is i'm not convinced he's having nightmares, I know he has a vivid imagination, but also know he's clever enough to 'play' us.

I've tried asking him what he's afraid of, reassuring him that we're nearby, checking on him frequently - but this is where it gets frustrating as he's taking advantage of this. It can take an hour and several checks for him to fall asleep. He's also now waking more in the night. I have a lot of patience generally, but at night i'm ready to relax and my patience is wearing thin...

Does anyone have any helpful advice or suggestions please?

Thanks!

[Tulsie]

Hi,

My daughter has always had bad dreams that wake her scared and crying. She's 11 now and they're pretty infrequent these days thankfully, but when she was younger she was also scared of going to sleep and would wake often. The thing that really helped for us was a stuffed dragon toy.

Sounds silly I know but I introduced it to her as a magic dragon that would wake at night to watch over her while she slept and protect her from bad dreams. She's slept with it just above her pillow ever since and while it hasn't stopped her having bad dreams entirely, they certainly lessened as she relaxed.

So sorry for you and your son, hope you find something to help.

Tulsie x

[EPB]

When my daughter was little, and troubled by night-time fears, and I still had my magic powers, I used to enclose her in a magic bubble. She had to lie very still while I slowly and carefully drew the outline of the bubble, taking great care when it came to sealing the two ends together.

Like most bubbles it only had a limited life, and had evaporated by morning, but during the night she was invulnerable.

I had forgotten all about it, until I learned that, nearly thirty years on, she helps her little nephew to sleep the same way.

[Anna M]

I love the bubble! When my son (4, not 5) told me he had bad dreams, I told him we needed to 'activate' his dreamcatcher that hangs over his bed (a feathered thing that hangs from the ceiling). We activate it every night to catch bad dreams and let the good ones through, with a little rhyme. This seems to help him a lot. When we were away we activated it remotely, which seemed to work still! Hope you find something that works too.

[Saffron]

Sounds like nighttime separation anxiety, not like you're being "played". There may be genuine physiological reasons that he needs more reassurance now, e.g. developmental stressors.

Repeated nightmares are a classic sign of stress in children and adults. If it doesn't get better with extra bedtime cuddles, I think I'd seek some more specific advice. Although tbh an hour of intermittent checking and cuddling for a ~5-6 yo seems within the range of normal. It's just v stressful on you at a time of day when you need to relax too! What about letting your LO fall asleep in your bed then move to his? Or make up a little mat by your bed where he can come sleep in the middle of the night if he wakes upset? xx

[SE22mum]

after trying lots of different options for our 8 year old, who also repeatedly said he was scared to go to sleep and who would come into our bed every night afraid, in the end we asked him to come up with a solution. it was basically to have a light on in his bedroom - not just a night light but a lamp - and the door open. job done. he was just really scared of the dark.

lots of children have worries about going to sleep. before we found the solution, tbh I would take my laptop into his room and do my emails/watch some TV or something whilst he fell asleep.