Why

[bigbadwolf]

Well wouldn't you if Tony was wearing you. Nice one Tony, you've successfully buggered a man. Typical!

[Mikecg]

He may be an expert?

[bigbadwolf]

Sexpert Mike, sexpert.

[HonaloochieB]

Because we want to, because we want to.

If in doubt fall back on Billie Piper.

I do.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

Because we want to, because we want to. If in doubt fall back on Billie Piper. I do.

Indeedy. He who pays Billie Piper should call the tune....

[KalamityKel]

Thank you very much for putting that tune in me head... I shall try to avoid bopping down the road on me way home (the police outside parliament think I'm strange enough as it is!)

[Tony.London Suburbs]

KalamityKel Wrote:

..(the police outside parliament..think I'm strange enough as it is!)

I've been meaning to ask you but are you an M.P. Kels?

p.s. If so can you do something about my drains?

[Xena Worried prince]

Oh Dear Mr TLS

It appears that you have accidentally gotten my assistant in a compromising position whilst I was doing something far more interesting then worrying about why your paranoia made you delete posts from earlier. I have however spent time reviewing your case notes and I can conclude that the reason you deleted your posts earlier was simply because you would get hell from your mother concerning the way you were talking about her and her Beano to Bournemouth where she conceived you on the back seat of the coach with some strange man. This could of course explain your fixation with getting men onto couches or seats in an attempt to fly the jolly roger with them as some sort of revenge fixation on your mother. She is lovely by the way and always speaks nicely about you when she is in for her time, but sadly I think she may be suffering from advance senility these days and is obviously getting you confused with her other son, that nice Mr Hitler.

Sadly Mr Wolf, this time Mr TLS didn't (as you so succinctly worded it) "successfully bugger a man" however I do have qualms about my assistant as she/he was once a boy, I believe the medical term now is 'chicks with d!cks' or something like that which means I think Mr TLS needs to apply to see someone who can assist with his little problem. I have checked with the internal directory and discovered that the clinic for sexually transmitted diseases is open late tonight and I would advise going to get the 'umbrella' treatment done as soon as possible as I don't think my assistant (miss lowhung) is the cleanest of fellows now.

Mr Wolf, you do fascinate me with your basic obsession to watch two men in coitus, this so obviously stems from a deep routed fear of women when you are in the change (every full moon as I understand it) and I think you need to work that particular issue out for yourself.

;-)

So Mr TLS, you still haven't answered the basic question of 'Why did you do that?' I can see now there is no need for anyone to question what it was based on your confession above, but why is a different kettle of salmon.

Xena.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Xena: Worried prince Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Oh Dear Mr TLS

>

> It appears that you have accidentally gotten my

> assistant in a compromising position whilst I was

> doing something far more interesting then worrying

> about why your paranoia made you delete posts from

> earlier. I have however spent time reviewing your

> case notes and I can conclude that the reason you

> deleted your posts earlier was simply because you

> would get hell from your mother concerning the way

> you were talking about her and her Beano to

> Bournemouth where she conceived you on the back

> seat of the coach with some strange man. This

> could of course explain your fixation with getting

> men onto couches or seats in an attempt to fly the

> jolly roger with them as some sort of revenge

> fixation on your mother. She is lovely by the way

> and always speaks nicely about you when she is in

> for her time, but sadly I think she may be

> suffering from advance senility these days and is

> obviously getting you confused with her other son,

> that nice Mr Hitler.

>

> Sadly Mr Wolf, this time Mr TLS didn't (as you so

> succinctly worded it) "successfully bugger a man"

> however I do have qualms about my assistant as

> she/he was once a boy, I believe the medical term

> now is 'chicks with d!cks' or something like that

> which means I think Mr TLS needs to apply to see

> someone who can assist with his little problem. I

> have checked with the internal directory and

> discovered that the clinic for sexually

> transmitted diseases is open late tonight and I

> would advise going to get the 'umbrella' treatment

> done as soon as possible as I don't think my

> assistant (miss lowhung) is the cleanest of

> fellows now.

>

>Bournemouth? Bugger Bournemouth! I was conceived on the way to Margate!

> ;-)

>

> So Mr TLS, you still haven't answered the basic

> question of 'Why did you do that?' I can see now

> there is no need for anyone to question what it

> was based on your confession above, but why is a

> different kettle of salmon.

> Xena.

Because like the Canadian Salmon Xena I have needed to travel 2,000 miles to re-visit the exact spot where I was conceived and now I am thoroughly exhausted....

[Mikecg]

Your a Mentalist.

[Xena Worried prince]

Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> >Bournemouth? Bugger Bournemouth! I was conceived

> on the way to Margate!

Like I said above, your mother, bless her cottons, is getting a little senile these days and I expect that you were actually conceived somewhere between Poland and France.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Xena: Worried prince Wrote:

Like I said above, your mother, bless her cotons, is getting a little senile these days and I expect that you were actually conceived somewhere between Poland and France.

Nah! It wasn't between Lublin and Lille, it was between Lublin and Dublin, to be sure (x2)..

[KalamityKel]

Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> KalamityKel Wrote:

> ..(the police outside parliament..think I'm

> strange enough as it is!)

>

> I've been meaning to ask you but are you an M.P.

> Kels?

>

> p.s. If so can you do something about my drains?

Soz Tone not an M.P or have anything to do with politics (except of the office kind that make me grumble on a daily basis) but I do have connections and can recommend a fairly good not over priced plumber if need be. Pimlico plumbers are certainly NOT on the list :))

I could tell you my line of employment but I may have to kill you afterwards... data protection and all that ;-) :p

[Tony.London Suburbs]

KalamityKel Wrote:

I could tell you my line of employment but I may have to kill you afterwards... data protection and all that ;-) :p

If you have soft, tender hands and it was administered humanely, preferably, while wearing an "Emma Peel like" Black Leather Catsuit then it would be the perfect way to go...probably::o

p.s. Talking of murder: If you don't sort out your blatant abuse of Emoticons son, I swear I'll....

This time you have finally used one and then added ":p" afterwards...are you taking the ":p":X:))

[Xena Worried prince]

Dear MR TLS

An infatuation with Miss Emma Peel signifies a longing to return to the past and a fear of the now, this obviously has manifested itself in your loathing of emoticons with threats of violence against those whom use them.

I think your troubles run deep my friend and you need to seek professional help to solve them. Try calling Party girls on 0845 696969 and see if they can't give you the sort of help you so badly crave, I am sure one of them will dress up as a mummy figure for you.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Xena: Worried prince Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Dear MR TLS

>

> An infatuation with Miss Emma Peel signifies a

> longing to return to the past and a fear of the

> now, this obviously has manifested itself in your

> loathing of emoticons with threats of violence

> against those whom use them.

You are right, as usual, Xena.

I'm going to start using emoticons from now on(!)>:D

> I think your troubles run deep my friend and you

> need to seek professional help to solve them. Try

> calling Party girls on 0845 696969 and see if they

> can't give you the sort of help you so badly

> crave, I am sure one of them will dress up as a

> mummy figure for you.

I tried but they have told me that "the party is over" for me, apparently, anyway...its a downhill journey to the Cemetary Gates from now on Xena.:(

[Xena Worried prince]

Dear Mr TLS

if you are as old as you claim then I am sure the Party Girls can supply you with a Grandmother Figure, or is that someone that BBW hankers after (see "Little Red Riding hood" to put this into connotation)

Either way, can I professionally say "Ewwwww"

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Xena: Worried prince Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Dear Mr TLS

>

> if you are as old as you claim then I am sure the

> Party Girls can supply you with a Grandmother

> Figure, or is that someone that BBW hankers after

> (see "Little Red Riding hood" to put this into

> connotation)

>

> Either way, can I professionally say "Ewwwww"

Leave It Out Babes...all my three Main Ladyfriends are exactly 30, funnily enough.

As far as I know none have yet reached the Status of Grandma, so I'll pass if I may...

[bigbadwolf]

Xena we all know that when a patient is on the couch you can't have an 'arseistant' present, nice try. I personally can't comment as to why you so willingly joined your patient for some horizontal bumfoolery, perhaps you stared into the swinging pocket watch as well. Leave Tony alone as he's a nice guy but I wouldn't want to get on the wrong 'side' of him either as I don't want to be turned inside out as well. Next time don't leave the curtain open. According to Tony you had an arse like half a blood orange after your 'session'.

[Xena Worried prince]

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Xena we all know that when a patient is on the

> couch you can't have an 'arseistant' present, nice

> try. I personally can't comment as to why you so

> willingly joined your patient for some horizontal

> bumfoolery,

Dear Mr Wolf

Can I recommend Specsavers for you sir as you appear to have a problem reading previous comments...

It appears that you have accidentally gotten my assistant in a compromising position whilst I was doing something far more interesting then worrying about why your paranoia made you delete posts from earlier. .....

.....Sadly Mr Wolf, this time Mr TLS didn't (as you so succinctly worded it) "successfully bugger a man" however I do have qualms about my assistant as she/he was once a boy, I believe the medical term now is 'chicks with d!cks' or something like that ....I don't think my assistant (miss lowhung) is the cleanest of fellows now.

Obviously you have the wrong end of that particular stick, and I believe Miss LowHung did indeed have a rear as described by yourself after Mr TLS session with him/her

[bigbadwolf]

Ditto Xena as you appear to have a problem identifying previous clients when you see them. I know Tony is a unisex name in todays world but have you seen the size of TLS's hand, FFS!

[Xena Worried prince]

Dear Mr Wolf

May one ask - What the Flaming heck are you talking about ?

[woofmarkthedog]

Xena

You are sounding very much like someone else round this manor "lately"

W**F

[bigbadwolf]

Yes I've noticed that as well.

[bigbadwolf]

However I think 'flaming heck' is a little below Dulwichmum whatever guise Woof.