bigbadwolf

You're right GG. I actually quite like most of his work and he can act, especially when playing an emotionally scarred yet chirpy bogman. It's just that when he did Murphy's Law he insisted on that handlebar moustache. He then became unacceptable. http://i3.digiguide.com/up/0802/1191268800000-190768-MurphysLaw-1190367989031.jpg

It's just his face GG. Nothing more, nothing less. But we still want to rub dog shit in it none the less.

It's come to my attention that Mathew Horne is now a radio DJ for XFM. Instead of slapping him I'd prefer to spoon feed him cold sick and then beat him to death with the spoon whilst telling him in great detail how me and my mates brutally gang raped his dad.

Hi Pandora. I too suffered at the hands of agent fees at my last place. They had this clause in their contract that I admittedly overlooked that stated that they reserved the right to enter the property if there was a complaint such as water coming through downstairs ceiling or dodgy smells coming from the flat. I came home one day after work to find a note tacked to the door stating that they'd recieved a complaint informing them that a nasty smell was coming from the flat so they had to force their way in (they had keys) in order to investigate. They found nothing or any smell associated with what they were or weren't looking for but billed me for the door and for the 'inconvenience' I had caused. Two more of these visits occured after that and in total they fleeced me for about ?70 I was furious with them but had to bare it and pay up. I was also coming to the end of my tenancy so I decided that it would be fair for me to disconnect and sell the hot water boiler to the tune of about ?350 online. They inquired as to where the hell their boiler had gone, so I told them it must have been the builders that kept popping round. I haven't heard anything from them since, the w_nkers.

Hi Charlotte. Rest assured that they're stalking a prospective target/owner under a meticulous surveillance operation as we speak. Cats are born survivors. They'll most probably find an elderly or unmarried woman who'll look after and pamper them until her death. The cats will then eat her corpse.

No. How about:

Here you go Rosie. I'm sure you enjoyed the show as well. Remember ladies and gents. We all, at some point, laughed at this simplistic excuse for comedy, but we immediately felt thoroughly disgusted with ourselves afterward.

Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

"I think 'glamming up' would mean putting on a prettier top and some jewellery rather than anything super-expensive - it's still in a pub, isn't it?" My thoughts exactly Moos. "Not sure I want to go to the drinks if this is the atmosphere that's being generated these days, but then again perhaps I wouldn't be welcome anyway." I understand how you feel Moos and we've had a bit of a staring contest on this thread and others now and again but rest assured (all of you) that I would never bring any bad feelings to an event as interesting as the forum drinks, especially just before Christmas. However you come attired whether it be in sequins or denim, I don't care. All I'm hoping is that we have an enormous turnout for the event and get pissed and make a disgrace of ourselves, in the politest possible way. I find the forum drinks very curious affairs as I enjoy finding out what the regulars are really like in the flesh.

We're strictly forbiden from listening to the radio at work because it interferes with all the radio traffic bouncing back and forth between our walkie talkies. You can just picture it... Me: "Call back site office." Site office: "Go ahead, over." Me: "Yeah I need the tower crane to lift a bobcat after lunch, over." Site office: "Recieved, I'll forward your request to the head engineer, over." Me: "I'd appreciate it if you could really emphasise the urgency. I've got a lot on my plate so need to get it over and done with, over." Site Office: "You'll have to wait in the queue along with everyone else, over." Chris Moyles: "Piss off yer fat bitch." Site office: "How dare you!!"

Did it now.

Quite right PGC. What a stupid comment I just made. I am one of those nancy's that pours all over regency romance. She's got my boxset of Bleak House. I don't think I'd stretch to lending her my Bronte or Thackery collection though.

Georgette Heyer? I had you down as more of a George MacDonald Fraser kinda guy Ted. Not some nancy that pours all over regency romance.

Ted. The thought of sharing a tumbler or two of single malt with yourself would indeed be a warming occasion. Although I don't think I'd be comfortable with you pocketing all the cutlery and condiments from the knife and fork table. Though I'd be happy to help you tear the pay-phone from it's mount to ease the burden on your wallet.

I think a dog shit would be a far more appropriate offering to Mr Niieeshbit. Don't you LM.