Tiny Little Things That Cause You Irrational Rage

[brum]

I'll give it to the elves next time they come around....

[PinkyB]

Nah, better not, they'll only pocket it. I'll just have to come round in person, it's the only option. If you just leave the key under the flowerpot like last time, I'll make sure I don't wake the missus.

[brum]

No worries, she's long gone so come around and make as much noise as you like.

[PinkyB]

Excellent, I'll bring my accordion!

[brum]

No, please after last time? It attracted Bavarians from all over London. I preferred it when you brought your Ukelele, leaning on that lamp post

[PinkyB]

"I'm leaning on a lamp, maybe you think, I look a tramp,

Or you may think I'm hanging 'round to steal a motor-car."

So you're basically suggesting I'm a tramp and a thief? Why not call me a gypsy as well and be done with it!

[brum]

If you're anything like Cher then what's the problem?

[PinkyB]

I admit it, I look like a six foot tall transvestite. My secret is out.

Still, it does mean I get in half price at Singalonga Rocky Horror Picture Show, so it's not all bad.

Ever dressed up in suspenders and heels for a bit of Rocky?

[brum]

Oh indeed yes. I actually worked on the show when Jason Donovan was in it. We'd look good together if we're both strapping six footers.

[PinkyB]

I'm a sceptical sort of gal, so I just looked him up on IMDB and you're right, Jase is a strapping six footer! Of course, now I'm worried how you knew that. Did you measure him up personally?

[brum]

Why should you worry? You're a lass of the world - this is theatre-world after all. Yes Jason is quite tall but we'd both be taller in our heels.

[PinkyB]

Do you work backstage?

[brum]

Sort of - and FOH as well. Anywhere in the theatre (except the stage). Not any more though, alas.

[PinkyB]

Theatre can be a cruel mistress.

[brum]

Theatre reflects life and it always should be so.

[PinkyB]

Don't put your daughter on the stgage, Mrs Worthington.

Oh, dear, am I rambling?

[brum]

The portuguese should kick in any time now...

[PinkyB]

Meu tio gostado de competir portador-pombos.

[brum]

I knew it.

[red devil]

Oh no! not you two again, put us out of our misery and do the decent thing and shag each other's brains out...

[Santerme]

Get a room!!!!

[PinkyB]

Having to have a freezing cold shower because your flatmates have used up all the hot water again. The torrent of swearing and incoherent whimpering that came from my mouth was unbelievable, not to mention unprintable. I should not be shivering when it's 25 degrees outside. I feel like I've got an ice-cream headache too.

On the plus side, I am now very much wide awake. Traumatised, but awake.

p.s: Red Devil, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.

[bigbadwolf]

Ms Wolf's bloody sewing machine!!! It sounds like a lawnmower and it's being used in revenge for me having an utter skin full and having the fella's round last night.

[PinkyB]

Revenge sewing, that IS impressive...

[bigbadwolf]

Stitched me right up it has.