No children at wedding?

[malumbu]

The Grauniad's readers' question last week was a along the line: My friend has invited us to his wedding but not our young kids, should I ask him to pay for child care.

There should have been a one liner: It's their wedding, they can do what they like.

But of course most responses were waffly with many of them being outraged.

Mine,not publishes, was to ask whether the friend could take over the running of one of my many local pubs cum creches.

[Loz]

Ha - just found this. Best answer was: Your husband is a prat. Being invited is an honour, they want to include you in their big day, and if they have to mind how much they spend, you should understand that. You go, and leave Grumpy to look after the children - you'll enjoy it much more without him, anyway.

[Ladysaw]

Children have no place at a grown up event. I.e. a wedding! Unless it's mummy and daddy walking down the aisle.

The last thing I want to do as a wedding guest is trip over a child .... even if my 2 1/2 old was invited, I'd leave her home. That equates to a fun night for us :)

[Otta]

What makes a wedding a "grown up event" as opposed to a "family event"?

Personally I'm fine with kids til about 8pm by which time I want them gone so I won't accidently fall on one whilst pissed.

But if someone says no kids at their wedding then that's up to them.

[hpsaucey]

Agree - up to them to say if they 'want' kids or not. But is also up to you to accept or decline the invite on that basis.

One of my friends got married in St Andrews. I was breastfeeding at the time but the wedding said no kids allowed. It would have meant a trip for all of us all the way up there for myself, partner and two kids to St Andrews, but they weren't allowed at the wedding. I declined and explained why. I don't think she really understood She might now as she has her own child now.

[Seabag]

Weddings without kids are rather dull anyway

I'd politely decline and send them gushing best wishes, then invite them out for dinner sometime after. I'd usually be more cynical, but weddings do weird things to people when planning them. Beware of Bride/Groomzilla syndrome

As Otta said re the rest

[miga]

.

[TillieTrotter]

No discussion to be had, their wedding, your invite to accept or decline. I think the fellow in question is a dick to even think of asking for childcare money.

[Otta]

I've been to a lot of weddings as staff (playing in the band) and was amazed how many of them seemed really joyless. I mean I'm sure the bride and groom were happy, but honestly miga is right, it was like fun was off the menu.

Equally I've been tonsome wild ones.

[Mick Mac]

Seabag Wrote:

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> Weddings without kids are rather dull anyway

>

Agreed - kids can make a wedding, and provide great memories.

[Jeremy]

Been to some great weddings with kids present, some without. You get rather a different "vibe"... more hard drinking when the kids are safely away with the grandparents. But the daytime bit is probably more relaxed and chaotic (in a good way) when kids are around. Fine with me either way.. the only problem is that there will inevitably be some people who won't be able to come as a result.

[Help-Ma-Boab]

When you marry a bit later in life though, and almost all your mates have kids, at something like 3 years of age they are considered a "full" head in terms of the costing from caterers. With not unlimited budget its either a few mates with their children as they have lots. This then means a lot of pals can't come as not affordable.

[Otta]

No way I'd bother including kids in the meal, I'd have a kids table with lots of healthy snacks as well as piles of.chips and chicken nuggets with full sugar coke. That'll teach their parents when they're trying to get them to sleep.

[maxxi]

Kids at weddings if they are related sure - It's a difficult one to dodge with family. You can hardly tell siblings or cousins not to bring their kids because, well, they're your family too. If they get lary there's always plenty of Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents to rein them in or threaten them.

But unless you know friends' kids well and are Godparents or something, then of course not - if you're invited to dinner or a party you wouldn't take your kids would you? And - service and endless photos apart - that's all this is.

[Tallulahdoesthehula]

It's totally the decision of the bride and groom (it's their day), but they do need to accept that this decision will potentially effect who can come.

My friend was quite upset recently as hardly any of her friends were able to go her wedding whereas all her husbands could. It was hardly surprising as they live where he grew up - all his friends are local and just needed a babysitter for the day, her friends are from far and wide including overseas and the child ban made it possible for most to attend.

Not everyone has weekend Childcare they can use.

[*Bob*]

Went to a wedding of a good friend a while back. The invite was carefully couched in 'we'd be delighted to have them but prefer it if we didn't' terms. As such, there were only half a dozen kids there.

Still, the little bleeders screamed all through the ceremony / speeches nonetheless.

[Saffron]

Otta Wrote:

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> What makes a wedding a "grown up event" as opposed

> to a "family event"?

>

>

Gambling, strippers, cocaine..?

[Otta]

My question stands.

[Louisa]

If it was my wedding and a guest failed to accept my invite of only them and not their annoying brats, i'd be pretty f##%$? off if they brought them along regardless. I think I would even go as far as turning the family away from the event on the big day. It's my big day, don't like it? Get your own!

Louisa.

[Seabag]

Louisa Wrote:

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> If it was my wedding and a guest failed to accept

> my invite of only them and not their annoying

> brats, i'd be pretty f##%$? off if they brought

> them along regardless. I think I would even go as

> far as turning the family away from the event on

> the big day. It's my big day, don't like it? Get

> your own!

>

> Louisa.

I rest my case

Louisa - Bridezilla

[Saffron]

Shall I cancel the strippers then?

[TheCat]

I have children. We didn't have kids at our wedding. I love a wedding where kids aren't allowed. Better fun for all concerned. Mostly the parents

[Seabag]

I'd conceede that babies in church are a challenge, i've heard a few screamers

Why do people insist on sitting it out, I always grabbed an outside seat and dashed when it happened

Mind you, I had to pinch my one quite hard to get my exit ticket from the ceremony

Bless him :))

[Jeremy]

Huh. Church weddings. Awkward and joyless. I can see why going outside with a crying baby is preferable to pretending to sing a load of old junk containing words like "thy" and "hast".

[mrsmrcham80]

At my wedding there were children and I must say they brought a good atmosphere to the wedding besides not everyone can leave their children at home and especially when its family or close friends that have kids you would want them at your wedding at least I wanted my family and their kids to share that moment with me also they had all gone after 8pm then the adults had their own time.