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As it got a bit confused back there, i'll pop this lot down:


There once was a man from East Dulwich

Who had a terrible skull itch

So he took some pills

Which cured all his ills

And remembers again why he left Harwich


There was a young man from Goose Green

Who felt an urgent need to vent his spleen

So he went on the forum

And proceeded to bore 'em

With rants about Bush and the Queen


Whilst strolling along Lordship Lane

I looked up to see an aeroplane

and within a flash

I broke into a dash

As its loos had let loose 'yellow rain'


A mother with child, overheard

The warbling of a very strange bird

it seemed to be singing

and turds it was flinging

That were left by an elephant herd


As I looked out from Dawson's Heights

Through the haze from my Marlborough Lights

I said 'this is a farce'

and pulled from my arse

The coke that I'd hidden on the flight


There was a young lady called Nancy

Who like to wear shoes that were fancy

she went down to Peckham

To see David Beckham

Who was shopping with Abbey Clancy



A lady called Dulwich Mum

had a classic 'east dulwich bum'

'twas clad in white denim

And she'd pulled the hem in

and poured herself coke and rum


A lady called Dulwich Mum

had a classic 'east dulwich bum'

Which was trim but yet bouncy

The best in the county

and admired as she lay in the sun

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https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/641-limericks-so-far/
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There was a new shop named Moxton

that moved to East Dulwich from Hoxton

Their slippery eels

resembled baby seals

but was soon bought out by Foxton (s)





There once was a school named JAGS

which gave the kids free fags

At lunch time they puffed

Tho their mums were not chuffed

with the holes in their designer glad rags




A nice Irish lad named Sean

spent all his time looking at porn

He came all a cropper

When he suffered a dropper

Although that was abit like the norm

All this limerick business has reminded me of an apalling thing I did about 12 years ago. I fancied a friend of a friend and knowing where he worked (a trendy media establishment in Soho), I hand delivered a limerick I had written (luckily I can't remember the words but they were based on my unrequited love for him) to reception and I DIDN'T PUT IT IN AN ENVELOPE ... what was I thinking??

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