Calls from "accident helpline"

[TheArtfulDogger]

I keep on getting calls from far away places claiming to represent "accident helpline" or similar.

Whilst I could report them, it would do little as they originate "out of area"

However I am now cataloging responses from people when they get the calls

So far I have heard the following:

"Oh thank god you called, I had an accident only the other day, it was the morning after a night out which got a bit messy to be honest, and after 10 pints of lager and a really hot chicken vindaloo I woke up the next day and had an accident in the car..." "Really sir what happened and who was to blame". "Well I blame myself really, god it was horrible, I can still see it now, but I just turned out of the drive when I followed through..." "Sorry sir but what do you mean 'followed through'" "You know man, I took a dump in my pants" ....."click, brrrrr"

"Oh thank god you called, I was walking through work the other day and they were cleaning the floor in reception, and I didn't see a notice, before I knew it my legs went out from under me and I broke my arm". "Sir I think you have a good case here, can I take some notes, who was the company involved". "Accident helpline, I work there on telesales, can I really use you to get compensation from the company you represent". "Click, brrrrr"

There must be more ?

[KalamityKel]

*stops calling AD*

[Blah Blah]

I usually sing to them. Abba's 'Money Money Money' is my favourite. Sometimes I do 'Don't Take Your Guns to Town'. Any more suggestions are welcome.

[goosey-goosey]

Blondie's Hanging on the Telephone

[Salsaboy]

I have the Acme Thunderer whistle. A good loud blast on that soon stops the buggers.