The EDKiwi Soapbox

[Quaywe]

At Bob's request I've set up this post to better air my views, give you some ED gossip and just generally entertain/annoy you all.

So without further ado let the EDKiwi bashing begin!

[Quaywe]

To end the M&S or White Stuff speculation, just spoke to White Stuff, they're definitely opening in the old Walsh site "early in the New Year".

[Quaywe]

PS - If you want to work there: send your CV to [email protected].

[Huguenot]

Smashing! What do you think of West Ham's current form?

[Guest]

Dear Ed, Why is it that things that are in the distance 'look small' - even though you know they're really actually quite big?! Please help!

[Quaywe]

Being a kiwi I don't waste my time with soccer. The ball's the wrong shape, waiting 90 mins for a goalless draw bores the hell out of me and all the players are p*ssy's! Imagine if rugby players took a dive every time someone farted in their direction like soccer players do! Soccer's for girls (enter the offended reader to comment on my sexist remark)...

I will say though that I rather did enjoy the world cup and it was (don't tell anyone) the only time in my life I've ever rooted for Australia!

[Quaywe]

Bob, things look small because you're looking through the the wrong end of the telescope...

[blinder999]

Hello EDKiwi

Is NZ really the class-free society you think it is? This recent story suggests otherwise:

Auckland Snobbery

To summarise, in an email from a NZ marquee hire company wrote to a potential customer:

"Our marquees are for upper class clients which unfortunately you are not. Why don't you stay within your class level and buy something from payless plastics instead."

[Quaywe]

I didn't say NZ was class free; just that I don't give a stuff about the English system as it's way OTT. It's true there is a bit of snobbery in the old Aucklanders. They think NZ ends at the Bombay Hills (the small mountain range that effectively divides Auckland from anything south). Aucklanders are known as JAFA's (just another f**king Aucklander) to the rest of NZ.

[mockney piers]

Talking of classless societies, 'Back to Basics Victorian Values' straight talking sense or desperate populist nonsense?

[Guest]

Australian snobs are the best value (if you want a bloody good laugh).. I wouldn't have believed they existed until I went to party populated by an comedy selection of privately-educated 'upper class' Australians, one of whom described himself as (and I quote) "the cream of the cream" - whilst another explained (with a straight face) that he was 'a direct descendent to the English throne'.

[Quaywe]

Mockney, I wasn't around when Victoria was at the throne, and given that I don't know jack about religion or politics I'm not about to start learning about old English birds. Can't we talk about something interesting; like rugby!?

Bob, it's all a front; criminals can't be snobs...that's just crazy talk! It sounds like your "direct descendant" friend is just a rich POM criminal's great great grandson. Snob's or not the Aussie's are still rubbish at rugby.

[Quaywe]

OK folks I need some idea's on where to go for a last minute Xmas holiday for a week. I'm talking no flights, just renting a car and heading in a certain direction.

I've not done much domestic stuff in GB. Been to Cardiff, Edinburgh, Cornwall and Devon, Brighton, that's about it. Feel like just getting away from it all though and seeing the country. Staying in some cosy B&B's and seeing some great scenery.

Which direction should I head?

[Guest]

If it's scenery you're after, I'd recommend heading for the Lake District for bracing walks and cosy country pubs with open fires.

[Guest]

Walsall, in the Midlands, would be a good bet. Also Wolverhampton or Tipton.. and Dudley is very pretty at this time of year.

Only joking, of course. The Lakes would be a fine choice... long drive though.

[Huguenot]

Suffolk?

[Guest]

Also try Derbyshire and the Peak District

[mockney piers]

Funny you should say that Huguenot. My girlfriend thought the newsreader said suvvark and went into near panic (not that she works in the industry or anything mind you).

[Huguenot]

EDKiwi, as an outsider who has come to understand and love our highly inclusive and class-mobile society, what insight can you offer us on the scandal of Princess Di and the extermination of the Dodo?

[Quaywe]

Di and Dodo were killed by the Suffolk serial killer. He was the "photographer" on the motorbike next to the car. He tried to climb into the car to get a leg over on Di. The driver tried to avoid the killer and hit the pole, wiping them out. Just goes to show that lower class English people shouldn't be driving cars in Europe!

[georgia]

EDKiwi

I have a suggestion for your Christmas holiday - why don't you go back to NZ? Your views and attitudes about the English 'lower'class and everything else are getting a bit tedious and even offensive. The death of 5 women in Suffolk is not something I would make a joke about, even to encourage some debate/comment.

I am sure that this site was not set up for you to air your opinions constantly. Sorry but all this is putting me off using this site....

[Quaywe]

Georgia, actually I thought that's exactly what this site was set up for....opinions. I wasn't making jokes about 5 women being killed, why the hell would I do that!?

Luckily for you this post it aptly titled "ED Kiwi Soapbox", so I guess the next time you see there is a new post in here you'll choose not to open it and not to read it. That way you can save yourself from being offended from a light sense of humour which you clearly don't have!

[David Mc]

It does get a bit unnecessarily "off-topic" sometimes, doesn't it?

[georgia]

I have a FANTASTIC sense of humour actually ;-)

Will say no more on the topic. I am sure you are a great bloke and yes I can avoid your rantings if I wish....

[Guest]

Over inflated gas bag or interesting guy? - can we have poll please?