Jump to content

Recommended Posts

on the same topic, from today's Fiver


"800 YEARS AND 90 MINUTES OF OPPRESSION

With half of his native country submerged under water and its economy in ruins, the Fiver's knobbly stick-waving, green felt hat-wearing, alcoholic Irish cousin Theme Pub O'Fiver has lots to be worrying about. Needless to say, the Republic O'Ireland's non-participation in next year's Adidas Coca-Cola Emirates Kia Sony Visa Budweiser Castrol Continental McDonald's MTN Satyam FNB Neo Africa Prasa Telekom Ultimate Macari's Traditional Fish And Chips World Cup finals is first and foremost on his list of concerns.

Younger Fiver readers may not be aware of the fact that the Irish had actually been given a bye to the World Cup final, only for Thierry Henry to throw a spanner in the works by picking up the ball in a qualifying play-off, running the length of the Stade de France pitch and flinging it at William Gallas's head to set up the goal that earned France a place in South Africa at O'Ireland's expense. The bollix.

Needless to say, the Irish accepted this setback in much the way you'd expect from a country that prides itself on being the world's friendliest, most laid-back race, whinging so incessantly about the injustice of it all that they've now been reduced to the lowly status of Object of Ridicule for Fifa president Sepp Blatter.


"They have asked, very humbly 'Can't we be team No33 at the World Cup?' They have asked for that, really," giggled Sepp, conjuring up images of poor auld Theme Pub tugging his forelock, repeatedly shouting the words "turty-tree" and being escorted out of the dormant volcano that serves as Fifa HQ by the hired muscle. "I will bring it to the attention of the executive committee but if we do that, we will also have to bring in Costa Rica," Sepp added, alluding to the offside goal that helped Uruguay win their play-off against the Costa Ricans, which nobody cares about because Riverdance wasn't invented in Central America.


In the extremely unlikely event that Fifa decides to pander to O'Ireland's wishes, the Football Association of Ireland is set to table assorted other completely reasonable requests, among them a demand that they be allowed to play in January's African Cup of Nations and be appointed 1961 Double winners instead of Spurs.


"The FAI today confirmed that it attended an hour-and-a-half meeting, at its request, with Mr Sepp Blatter, President of Fifa, on Friday in Zurich," diddly-ayed an FAI statement issued earlier today, confirming that the amount of time that the put-upon Irish have spent under the heel of oppression from assorted overlords now stretches 90 minutes beyond the usual 800 years.

"

Frankly I think 32 teams is too many in the WC never mind 33 or 34. I would like it reduced to 16 teams as it used to be. However I would make some changes. I would have 14 qualifiers and 2 unlucky losers. YES unlucky, cheated out of disgracefully, victim of offside goal, handballed goal, penalty not given, blind ref/assistant.........that sort of thing. Those who apply would be entered in a Eurovision type contest where they could put their case forward by means of what actually happened in the match but more importantly what they would bring to the WC. Fact is in Ireland's case we wouldn't bring a WC winnning team,that's for sure. However we would bring a stimulus to the local economy by having a huge number of supporters going on the lash for a couple of weeks and not being any bother to the locals or the police!


What I want to know is.............can Georgia say that? Ha!

  • 1 year later...

Mick Mac Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> This picture is just before he also grabbed it

> with this other hand and ran into the net with

> it.

> http://www.lequipe.fr/Medias/Football/200911/430x313/les-bleus-dans-la-douleur.jpg



Goal no 51 is a "no counter".......

Mick Mac Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> He will have extensive trial by media which will

> be worse. It will be shown around the world and

> his reputation will be harmed in the eyes of any

> fair minded person and this will be his

> punishment.

>

> He will be a loner and atila will be his only

> friend. Thats worse than purgatory.




A trip back in time - My favourite ever post.....:))

Number 13 is hitting him on the head which caused his hand to hit the ball, so it should have been a pen anyway. Shame you couldn't have produced this new evidence at the time. It would have saved a lot of heartache.


PS Henry would have taken the pen and scored. Back to 51.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Since you’re clearly not experiencing what we are I’m not sure I agree with any of your points. I also asked for anyone else having a similar problem… it’s absolutely fine if you’re not but I’d appreciate less of the “go live your life”. There is no need to comment with that tone, it doesn’t provide us with any help for the matter. Nor is it polite. We’re a very kind family simply not wanting damage and don’t find the actions necessary. It’s been the same driver/delivery for a while and this never used to happen. I wouldn’t post this on the forum if it wasn’t getting so frustrating. Again, the kids and myself have kindly asked for this to stop a few times with no success. We all work hard for our living and would never want (nor are we trying) to rid someone of their livelihood. But similarly, I don’t find it fair. Please feel free to PM me if anyone has any advise or shares the same.  
    • And now we have the worst labour government in many many decades who, by moving to your position on the right, are ushering in a far right reform government. Well done you.
    • You implied he did a good job in your first paragraph when you said you would have hated to see Corbyn lead the country through Covid - the alternative being Johnson, presumably? With the results we all saw. Unite - you have a problem with unions? Who work hard to see that their members get a fair deal in their workplace? How exactly are these people and groups "all as bad as each other"? In what way? Labour "purging their party of the far-left" has given us a weak prime minister who has apparently deserted any "left" (aka caring for other people and having decent moral principles) leanings he ever had. Which is why people appear to be leaving Labour in droves and voting, or intending to vote, Green or Lib Dem or for an independent Left candidate. Starmer has shot himself in the foot, in my opinion. But what would I know. What worked?! I don't know enough about what you are talking about to comment, but "believing" you know the reason someone did something does not make it true. I don't believe that Corbyn ever got "starstruck" or "forgot about his politics", but if you can provide evidence that those things are true, then fair enough. I don't think you can, though.
    • I think you need to get a grip If it's who I am thinking of, she's a young black girl in her twenties, has braids with bright colours through them and - I suspect - works with her father. It's always the same man behind the wheel and he's older than her, always in the same van, so I'm assuming it's a father-daughter combo which, if it is, I think is rather sweet.  They hustle hard in a job that is poorly paid, has little prospects, is relentless and thankless. The fact that they have stuck it out since the pandemic says a lot about them.  I think she's a lovely girl, who's perhaps a little shy - but she'll smile or chat back if you make the effort with her. And I admire her for sticking with that job for so long. Perhaps she's just one of these people who's naturally a bit clumsy or bashes things, the same way some people are heavy on their feet when they walk. But I wouldn't dream of jeopardising her job because she closes the slams the gate and doesn't 'kiss' the ring doorbell with her fingers.  Perhaps she's being passive aggressive because you are. And perhaps she also wishes she got to spend her time worrying about potential damage to her letterbox or her gate.  As for your gate / letterbox - you're talking about hypotheticals. Has there been any damage? No. Then go and live your life and worry about it when it happens.  (apols we have the wrong person, but some of my points still stand). 
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...