Car journey survival tips needed!

[snowboarder]

Me again!

Car journeys are still challenging with our 7 month old - he generally screams for the duration unless he's totally knackered (so much so was sick this evening:-( ), when he'll succumb to a half hour nap. This is just about cope-able with on our short every day journeys of max half an hour, however we have a 3+ hr drive on friday and back again on sunday. I'm dreading it - does anyone have any ideas how we can improve the situation? He has toys, he is fed and watered, not too hot or cold, and a mirror so he can see us. He is also in the world's most comfortable car seat after we abandoned the standard maxi cosi one hoping that might help. The only thing I can think of is turning the car seat round to face forwards (weight-wise I think he's ok for this) but am aware of safety issues.

We can't do a late night run when he would be more likely to sleep as it just doesn't work time-wise. Help!

[Pickle]

Are there two of you in the car with the baby? If so, could you sit in the back with him? I wouldn't turn his seat round as it's really not safe for such a young baby - but maybe if one of you was in the back with a collection of toys/books/funny faces/singing/finger food snacks it might help him stay calm for longer?

Our kids have a longish sleep around lunchtime so where possible we try and drive at that time to ensure we get at least an hour or so of peace.

I sympathise with you, it's stressful enough driving without having a screaming baby to worry about too!

[anna_r]

Have you tried different types of music? Strange as it may sound, when my daughter is ready for a nap and in the car she often falls asleep to repititive house music eg mylo...something about the regular beat?? If she is in awake mood and grumpy me singing along loudly with a cd of nursery rhymes usually buys a while longer. I have had terrible journeys before though (usually when overtired, or hungry) and it is a complete nightmare :( Like pickle I now time driving very carefully around nap/feeding times. I even booked recent eurostar tickets thinking about the car journey to the station and how it fits with the routine. Knowing my luck she'll probably decide to change everything around by then. Good luck

[snowboarder]

There will be two of us yes - however it doesn't seem to help once he's decided to go for it. Singing loudly does sometimes distract for a short while. I can't decide whether he's just being totally annoying or actually feels car sick or something. Trauma!

[clux]

i totally sympathise - i HATE car journeys with my two daughters. my eldest daughter was hideously car sick until she got to the age of 3 and we could give her travel sickness pills. and then just as she stopped doing it, my youngest one started doing it, and she's even more car sick. she only has to be in a car for 5 minutes and she throws up. its really really grim and stressful.

[Moos]

Snowboarder, this may not be any comfort for now, but my little car-screamer stopped hating the car as soon as he was moved into a forward-facing seat - I am not sure whether he felt sick or restricted (or both) but it was such a relief once we when to the bigger seat. Best of luck on your journey.

[snowboarder]

Our car seat can face forwards - it's a group 0/1 and should fit up to about 4 yrs or 18 kilos apparently....and can face forwards from 9 kilos...

Hmm - I have read other previous threads on safety etc. but I wonder...?

[The Nappy Lady]

Poor you.

If you can time the travel for when he is likely to sleep that may help - give him a busy morning if you can so he's really bushed when you put him in the car....maybe drive over lunch time (I know he's not a big daytime napper but you never know).

Agree about music as others have said - if mine is crying and I put the nursery rhyme tape on she almost always stops and may even go off to sleep.

If he doesn't, then put on music YOU like, loud enough to help drown out his crying, try to relax and just get on with the drive...nothing else you can do, and remember if he's crying he is exercising his lungs and sooner or later he'll get tired out and go to sleep! It is horrible, and very stressful, but sooner or later he will stop doing this, and journeys will get easier (I know I'm always saying this to you over so many things, but it is true).

Have you asked Doctor if there is anything they can suggest? Doubt there is, given his age, but you never know. Wonder if you can get anything from Health Matters that may help - maybe homeopathic stuff? Worth a try?

Some pages I've just found with suggestions;

http://babyparenting.about.com/cs/babies/a/carseatcry.htm

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/travel/travelsickexpert/

Oh and if all else fails....ear plugs for you?

I know I sound brave, but I'm another one that tends to plan long journeys around nap times - drives my hubby mad, but I hate driving with a crying baby in the car too. Worst is going up to Derbyshire, usually end up leaving London at about 7.30pm and if traffic is bad arrive up there at 11pm or later, then girls wake up all excited and it can take an hour or two to settle them down again just when I'm ready to crash from the long drive. Eugh.

Good luck, hope it ends up being easier than you are expecting, can imagine you are dreading it.

Molly

x

[Moos]

snowboarder Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Our car seat can face forwards - it's a group 0/1

> and should fit up to about 4 yrs or 18 kilos

> apparently....and can face forwards from 9

> kilos...

> Hmm - I have read other previous threads on safety

> etc. but I wonder...?

I think we put our son in a forward-facing at 11 months, when he no longer fitted in his baby seat.

These safety decisions are so hard - even if miniSB is heavy enough one does worry, even though the odds are with you. Perhaps you could ask your GP for advice?

[The Nappy Lady]

The forward facing thing isn't just about weight, there is much more to it, and ideally we would keep them rear facing until they are 3 years old as they do in other countries, there has been a thread on here before about it.

A big factor is the weight of the head as a % of the total body weight - in children under 3 it is about 25% of their total body weight I believe, and this has big implications if they are forward facing and you are in a collision.

SB I really wouldn't turn him FF, even if he is crying for 3 hours, and even if he cries 'til he is sick, he is safer rear facing, especially if you are going on the motorway (which I assume you will be on a 3 hour journey).

If in doubt check out rearfacing.co.uk if you haven't before.

I DO know it is hard, but you are doing the safest thing for him keeping him rear facing.

Molly

x

[womanofdulwich]

might try calpol before you set off and one of you go into the back and play/ read to him/ sing story tapes too? when you think about it it is very isolating in the back not seeing your parents a bit like being put in a cupboard. good luck.

[alieh]

Hi Snowboarder. A couple of small ideas to add, though none of which will probably dull the pain completely!

Definitely try to time the drive to coincide with when he's tired. I tend to carry him around in the sling for the last 30 mins or hour before getting into the car, to try to keep him awake but calm, so that he drifts off once we get driving

I always sit in the back while DH drives (no hope otherwise).

Open his window - something about the white noise and fresh air seems to help them calm down and sleep.

Pack a little "treasure bag" of weird stuff that you can pass him to look at (e.g. spoons, tea strainer, remote controls, old phones, etc.)

Lots of snacks

Singing

Does he like looking around at people in playgrounds/cafes/etc? We plan a couple of stops along the way to let our guy get out, look around, roll around/crawl (if he is mobile), etc. It took us 8 hours to get to Wales last month! But at least there was minimal screaming.

Good luck!

[The Nappy Lady]

Oooh yes, has he developed the obligatory obsession with the phone and or TV remote controls yet? If so, maybe bring the house phone handset - it will bleep when he presses the buttons but will not call anyone as out of range!!

Baby C would think it was heaven on earth if I actually gave her those items to play with rather than taking them off her whenever she gets close - which guarantees raging, stamping feet etc!!

Molly

[legalbeagle]

I know this is a terrible suggestion, and it's also expensive, but by god it works. Please don't judge me, I just couldn't take the screaming any more!

Portable DVD player. Total happiness and silence.

There. I've said it.

[The Nappy Lady]

Good for your LegalBeagle, a bit of Telly Tubbies never hurt anyone, and saved many a parent from total breakdown.

Snowboarder - maybe someone could lend you one to see if it works before you go off buying 'another' baby accessory (as I know you've got a bit of a reputation with your other half)!!

I have Telly Tubbies etc. on DVD you can borrow....

Molly

[Pickle]

We've got a portable DVD player for our older boy (nearly 3), keeps him really happy in cars and on planes, but it doesn't yet hold the attention of our 17 month old for longer than 5 minutes, so might not work for a baby? They are great though, worth spending extra money to get one with a decent battery life as there's nothing worse than it running out half way through the trip!

[Sonja]

Something Alieh said but I want to reinforce - open his window when he starts and give him a blast of air. My friends mother told me this, and for us it worked every time. Again don't know if it's a distraction, the fresh air, or actually that car seats make them really hot and sweaty (down their backs, if not down the front, but for some reason it was always like turning a switch off on the crying.

[Pickle]

p.s... you're welcome to borrow it for the weekend if you want to try it? Worth a go! We've got a couple of CBB's "mixed" DVDs.

P x

[The Nappy Lady]

Think you can also buy ones that plug into the cigarette lighter can't you (to avoid the battery issue)?

Just for those who end up deciding to buy one!!

I've been sorely tempted more than once, but we don't do very many long journeys, and oldest at 5 is now pretty good at singing, chatting and entertaining herself/us (and the baby...even better), then having a nap, so been OK. Oh and we invented the 'Animal Game' too....."I am an animal, what animal am I...I have long floppy ears, a pink nose...." etc. etc. Great fun and passes an amazing amount of time, plus it can end up being quite educational. Have got her with the Duck Billed Platypus loads of times, but she knows it by heart now! Have branched out into "I am an insect" and working on others....how sad has my life become?

SB - maybe I should lend you my 5 year old for the journey??!!

Molly

[Pickle]

Molly, most come with the car adapters, our included - it's plane journeys that we struggle with as you can't plug them in on a plane (although last trip to NZ we managed with a combination of in-flight entertainment system which showed Thomas, and the DVD player - C was in 7th heaven!).

[The Nappy Lady]

Ah - OK, thanks Pickle, of course forgot you can use it out of the car too!

In Spain last year our friends had one and it was great for keeping the kids quiet whilst we had a long 3 hour plus dinner...as good as they were the adult conversation got boring for them in the end and then the DVD Player was a godsend.

Molly

[snowboarder]

5 yr old welcome to join us - she'd have a fab time - we're going to some fancy but baby friendly hotel in Dorset complete with pool/play areas/creche/SPA etc - sounds great - once we're there!

Thanks for all suggestions - I will prob sit in the back with him and chat/play. We'll take the sky remote - he already broke that (ate it and then threw it). Thanks for the dvd suggestion and offer Pickle - the tv does not seem to hold much interest yet (too hyper, mostly!) - Will def keep it in mind for the future. If only he could somehow be in his door bouncer in the car he might be happy!

Did I mention we're off to Australia for christmas??!? OH MY GOD!! Can't even cope with a 3 hr car jounrey, what are we thinking?!?

[Pickle]

I honestly think that long haul plane journeys are easier than car journeys - we've done the trip to and from New Zealand 4 times now (3 times with just 1 child, and once since I had my daughter) and I find it a lot easier to entertain them on planes. At least with long haul flights you can get up and walk around, there are little spaces on the plane where you can put him down and let him move around etc (granted these spaces are generally by the toilets, but generally you give up caring about the germ factor by that stage in the flight!).

And there are always people who seem to love kids (try to suss out the grandparent types, they're great for entertaining little ones!) and are happy to help out.

Saying that, I'm quite worried about our next trip in February due to hyperactive monster of a toddler who refuses to be held! Will be fine once we're in the air, it's the take off and landing where she has to be restrained that will be hard!

[The Nappy Lady]

Good luck SB.

And good luck Pickle for the February flight...I think flying with toddlers is the hardest - babe in arms easy, older children easy...toddlers - Yuk...don't want to be held, wriggly, into everything...hoping by the time we fly again in August with 22 month old it will be OK ish...

SB, think you are amazing to get on with it and do what you do, given the rough ride you have had...good on you girl, do report back and let us know how it goes, and enjoy the hotel, think I know the one you mean, have seen it advertised. Should be amazing...do lots of swimming with him and fingers crossed he will sleep like....a baby (!?).

Molly.

[snowboarder]

Guys - thanks for all the tips...it was however predictably horrendous! Did not get off to a good start when I realised I had not communicated plans to husband and he had packed the car with the back seat down (how much STUFF for one weekend?!?). We need to get better at travelling with baby - it took way longer than planned and we had to stop loads for milk/supper/snacks/soothing etc. Am too used to just zooming through regardless. Will rethink for next trip. x