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Am at my wits end with my three year old son. He has got the hang of wees but just is not getting clean. We had to turn down a place at our local preschool because of it and I'm worried that we won't be able to take the place offered to us for January for same reason. Am trying not to get tense about it but I'm having to change him about 3x a day. Have tried offering incentives in the form of a sweet for when he tells us he needs to go and a toy for when he is managing it regularly to no avail. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much!!!

Hi Slummymum,


I don't have any solutions but I thought I would let you know about my experience with my little boy. He also was dry but not clean for quite a long time and I did find it very stressful. He in turn was very stressed by my reaction and started to hide when he had accidents. With hindsight I wish I had just ignored the problem as I think he just wasn't developmentally ready and that he wasn't getting the physical clues that he needed a poo so couldn't tell me until it was too late.


It did happen eventually ( a little after 3.5 I think) but there was nothing that I could have done to speed it up and infact I think I made the process more drawnout by focussing too much on it.


I realise that you have a deadline of trying to get into preschool but my only advice is don't stress.

I have two friends whose girls didn't toilet train till 2y 11m which is deemed late for girls and they both got quite stressed but once their girls were ready it was very fast. Does he want a nappy put on to poo if you leave him without one on? My friend had this. Not sure how she solved it... just waited I think.. though I've seen the idea cutting a hole in the nappy and then popping them on the potty/loo till they get braver.

Yes - if it is a poo phobia thing then cutting a hole in the nappy does help as gives them the security, whilst also allowing them to sit on the loo and see how it all works.


I think otherwise it is really just a matter of waiting 'til he is ready. Fingers crossed it will happen sooner rather than later.


Good luck, Molly

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