Going back to work...or not!

[chantelle]

joining in late but just another mum here who really loves being back at work, though i do have those moments of self-questioning and hearing those echoes of people who say "they're only young once." My son is 16 months and I went back four days a week, five months ago. We have a fabulous nanny, shared with another child slightly older and it is all going incredibly well. i really think everyone is happy, though I know there could be issues later when he is old enough to have a (vocal) opinion about it. I'm glad to be working, I love my job, and if I decide later to be a SAHM, that's a possibility too. Most of all, I treasure that I do have options thanks to my husband's job and our fairly conservative attitude toward spending.

crystal - i was worried too about working after broken nights but happily my son's sleep improved hugely from one year on, and now I don't even see him in the morning because he sleeps in until 8am or later!

[The Nappy Lady]

Crystal7, would Childminder let you buy a box of weetabix and small milk each week to keep there? Seems much easier, not heard of one not providing meals before.

When I was full time in the city my eldest always got up at 7 and has juice then to childminders at 8 where she had breakfast. Made the morning timing possible, otherwise no way.

Dreading the return to work is totally normal I think, but much easier once you are there. Good luck x

[Maki]

I went back to work when my baby was 9 months for 4 days a week (although I am using holidays at the moment to keep it down to 3 for as long as possible), and actually think as it stands the whole set up is ideal. My baby LOVES nursery, beams every morning when we ring the buzzer and has thrived since being there.

The only thing I can say that I wish was different is that I didn't like my job before I got pregnant, and I still don't! And I do feel a fair bit of pressure as I am the breadwinner (I hate that term) but it means I'm limited with the choices I have, and in my profession it is almost impossible to get a well paid part time job, so I do feel a little trapped.

I didn't have the choice to stay at home but I think if I did I would have chosen to be with my girl but done a day or two voluntary work a week (maybe on a city farm or something!). I can dream!

[BeccaL]

It's my night for bucking the trend! I went back to work full time when my daughter was 5 months old but was v lucky that my husband is a SAH dad - he wanted to try it and we thought we'd see how it went. 4 years on it is great, but helped by the fact that i work in herne Hill so daughter and i have breakfast together every day and i'm back for 6. Thoroughly recommend SAH dads! Will add more when not on mobile - getting sore thumb! BeccaL

[Pickle]

That's a brilliant arrangement BeccaL... my husband had a few months off work over summer and would love to be a SAH Dad (which I wouldn't have a problem with, as long as he was willing to learn how to use the washing machine!). Great that it's an option for your family.

[fairylamb]

You can work up to 10 Keeping In Touch days whilst on maternity leave without loosing your maternity rights and benefits. Maybe worthwhile if possible organising a couple of KIT days in the office as a trial run at leaving baby SB and seeing how you feel once physically back in the office. I have been easing myself back into work through KIT days and like Smiler I find it far easier to cope at work after a broken night's sleep than at home. By my third day at work last week everyone was complimenting me on how well I looked despite having my worst week of broken nights for about two months! I shall be returning full-time in January (unfortunately I have no choice as my architect partner has been made redundant). The current plan is for him to be a SAH until baby F is one with a childminder 1 day a week to allow him to do some freelance work if possible. Maybe you should also consider getting a childminder/nursery place one day per week now if you can afford it - will give you a break from baby SB and you can consider what you want to do going forward.

[BeccaL]

Hope going back to work is OK for you fairylamb - ours went to a childminder 1 day a week when she was 1 which she loved and also gave my hubby a break! (I think in a lot of ways work is easier than looking after a baby, especially when they can't talk to you and tell you what's wrong!)

[Mellors]

Well, my ongoing trauma resolved itself today when I resigned!

3 months notice then I'm joining the SAHM. Scary.

[Pickle]

Aaaaaaah, well done Mellors! Must be a huge relief after all the stressing, hope you delivered the letter with a big smile on your face :)

[Smiler]

Good for you Mellors!

[budur]

more thoughts from full-time working mum. not going back was never really an option, we can live on hubby's salary but the quality of life would suffer big time and i earn well over the childcare costs (the little one has been to 8 countries before she turned one). i thought i was lucky that i could go back after the little one was 1 year old and hubby supported us during that time, most of my friends were back after 6 months. and to be honest, after a year at home i was ready to be back. in the ideal world 3 days a week would be great and i'm sure my employer could of given me part time option. but i've seen others do it - they end up with all sorts of crap that you can't give a full time banker and i wanted to enjoy my work (to the extend it is possible).

I cried the first couple of days getting home and taking my child in my arms, who was obviously missing me terribly, you can tell and being so happy to see me again, then just got used to it... now 4 months back at work the main things are: childcare is a key, i have a relative looking after the child and it means i know that she is well taken care of and quite a few things get done in the house. going back to the job you did before for a long time - means i don't have to prove anything and can leave at decent time (and give a few things to do to the junior colleagues!!!) and having understanding bosses who also have little kids: they are males, but i can talk to them about nurseries, schools etc. and my hubby is very happy too: he says i look good (obviously making more effort, not only jeans and t-shirts etc.) and he can talk to me about things unrelated to nappies, poos... i've also got a cleaner now once a week, means i can dedicate all my time to the little one on the weekends.

but... this is all about to change once the little one is in the nursery next year and like Molly i would have to manage 8-6 shifts, which means leaving work at 5, which then means catching up with work at home... but i'm happy to be back and i don't think baby is worse off without me always at home.

[rachyrach]

If you still need help, I am an accredited coach with 14 years coaching and business experience offering coaching to help make those difficult decisions. I am also a ED mum of one (nearly two) who has made the same decisions myself! I am reasonably priced, and offer a free consultation meeting to discuss your needs.

I have helped people with:

* Career choices

* Lifestyle decisions

* Maternity return to work plans

* Gaining work/life balance

Some feedback from people I've coached:

"You were very supportive and full of encouragement, I always came away from sessions with a more positive, upbeat outlook and you always got me thinking about how I could approach things differently"

"Rachel has helped me achieve my desired outcomes and also helped me to realised that I have control over particular situations that felt quite daunting"

"I have gained a significant amount of personal value from our sessions"

"You have helped me to view problems in a way that I may not immediately choose to, and at times, with a new point of view altogether"

Please pm me or give me a call to discuss on 07921 002216.

Thanks

Rachel