Good piece re sleep

[helena handbasket]

Just saw this piece this morning...... nothing too deep but sums it up I think

moms

edited to say: please ignore the "climate change is a hoax" type mumbo jumbo in the margins...... sadly these are real politicians speaking and this Sarah Palin-esque right wing rag is the local newspaper (shudders). Whenever I'm homesick I read the Herald...... sorts out the homesickness pretty quickly!

[Fuschia]

good article hh

i am not sure all mothers who say their babies never wake are being honest!

[LI]

It is dispiriting when you hear that all your nct mates are celebrating their 7-7 sleeping babies. I don't even want to talk about it with them as I feel embarrassed (clearly not so on here!) and actually a bit ashamed - like I'm failing.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Snowboarder - I so agree with what you wrote above! I feel like a real "accidental parent" (sometimes I hate Baby Whisperer). However I was reassured when I got the "No-cry sleep solution" and found that Elizabeth Pantley herself had 2 babies who slept through very early and 2 babies who woke up every 1/2 hours. She had treated them exactly the same - so it does sound like something that somes from the baby not from the parent...

[Fuschia]

I felt immeasurably cheered when i found the article i posted at the start of this thread, as i have always soothed my babies to sleep and didn't realise that it's possible to have that as a positive choice... as ability to self-soothe is seen as a measure of a "good baby"

But I've now realised that for us, along with dealing with nappies, breastfeeding, feeding to sleep/soothing is a valid approach... and children will toilet train/eat solids/settle themselves to sleep, when the time is right developmentally and for your family (with necessary help)

[Smiler]

Fully sympathise with fellow sleep-deprived Mums.

In 20 months, our daughter had only slept through the night three times. Late to bed (8pm), many wake-ups each night, unpredictable times, before and after midnight. We were partly co-sleeping and I am very much in the avoid-crying / respond quickly camp.

In the last two weeks there has been a major change, led by my OH, who'd been nagging me for months to try a new approach. First we cut out milk at night (lots crying for 2 nights, then OK). Then we made her go to sleep in her own cot and stay there when she woke up - we went into the room and soothed her, then lay down on a single bed at the other end of the room, but didn't pick her up or bring her into bed. We had one night with a couple of solid hours crying - one hour before bed and one from 2.30am - 3.30am, then the next night she slept through from 8pm to 5.30am, settling herself within a few minutes in between when she woke up. This has basically continued, all-night sleep til 5.30 or later, with a blip this week as she's been ill (though is still staying in her cot).

I am amazed and wish had agreed to try it earlier. Think it has helped that she is now of an age where she can talk and understand language, so we explain to her that she sleeps in her cot, give her lots of praise in the morning for doing so etc. Really hope we have turned a corner.

[Smiler]

Think that there seem to be two philosophies about sleep. The first is that parents can't control babies'/toddlers' sleep - they'll do what they will do, and you just cope however you can. The second is that certain approaches (some discussed above in others' posts, Gina Ford, Baby Whisperer, Elizabeth Pantley etc.) can affect their sleep, the implication being that there are things that can be done and that one is doing something wrong if the child doesn't sleep well.

It is so hard when you're knackered and have that hit-by-a-brick, hungover feeling every morning that the thought that it may be your own doing is really upsetting.

Still haven't decided what I think. I do wish, though, that I'd encouraged my husband help in the night from a much earlier stage, as it is very, very hard to deal with by yourself night-in-night-out.

[Fuschia]

My view is that there is a reason why the baby brain has short sleep cycles and frequent waking, and part of growing up clearly involves learning to put yourself back to sleep when you wake... it's just some parents take more of an active role in bringing that about from an earlier age (controlled crying and what have you) while others either by philosophy or accident leave it to later to "teach" the child to self settle... and those children learn as just as well as those "taught" to do it earlier.

The study quoted also showed that babies vary in how long their longets sleep is/how easily they settle

[Fuschia]

Smiler, what you have done is similar to what we did with DS1, prob at about the same age, and it felt very different to me, explaining to him that he wasn't going to have milk in the night any more, knowing he understood, and then Mr F cuddling him while he protested, as opposed to just leaving him to cry, at a few months old (shudder)

I like this article:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp