Very USA maybe not believable but quite funny.

[*Bob*]

That conversation in full:

Assistant (on hearing our accents): "Hey.. where you from?"

*Bob*: "We're from London"

Assistant: "How far's that?"

*Bob*: "Ooh.. took us about 14 hours"

Assistant: "Drivin'?"

*Bob*: Driving?! (lightheartedly) No!.. even if you could drive, you'd be driving non-stop for a week..!

Assistant: (considers briefly) Serious?!

If it makes you feel any better, he probably doesn't know where Canada is either.

I'm not suggesting all Americans are deficient in the Geography department, just that I met one who was and this seemed like a good place for the anecdote.

That said, like the hilarious Amercian 'English Teeth' thing, there is generally an element of truth to these things.

[Mick Mac]

I have concluded that if you order a burger and they then ask you how you would like it cooked, then it must be good meat. In which case I would order a burger as I like a good quality burger, good quality meat and cooked rare.

In a restaurant in America..

Waitress: What would you like Sir?

Me: If I order a burger are you going to ask how I would like it cooked?

Waitress: How would you like your burger cooked Sir?

Me: I'd like mine cooked rare please.

Waitress: I'm sorry sir, we only do burgers "well done"

[actually it was Canada, but I wanted to join in]

[Huguenot]

Assuming you'd drive up the east coast, and a tunnel went from Newfie through Ireland to Wales and London (as the shortest route as the pig flies), you'd clock up some 4,300 miles.

Although arguably across the Atlantic you could achieve motorway speeds, they always seem to disallow regular rates of progress, so let's assume you could average 40 mph (including urban and road works on the M4 etc.) across the distance.

That'd give you some 108 hours non-stop, but bearing in mind comfort breaks, a bit of shut eye and some sort of european law against each individual driving more than 56 hours each in a week, then I think your 7 day estimate is remarkably prescient for a couple of jingle writers on a visit to the Bible belt.

[*Bob*]

What we need is a greater level of international understanding.

Brits should try harder to understand that when you live in a place where you can drive for 1000 miles in at least three directions and still not hit border or ocean - that also offers just about every sort of terrain and climate that you might be looking for, the urge to spend half a day on a aeroplane just to get to somewhere that might not be as good anyway might not be pressing as it is in, say, Barnsley.

Americans should try to understand that - even if you can afford it - having the face of a fifty year-old and the teeth of a fifteen year-old is not necessarily a good look.

[mockney piers]

I have to say I love the English stereotypes in Family Guy (chinny or chinless, efete, tweed clad, upper class twits with terrible teeth) cracks me up every time.

The Irish fair little better.

[Brendan]

Yep, I also quite enjoy the american stereotypes in Family Guy.

[cate]

Bob, can you post a picture of your teeth as you seem to be obsessed with them. I'd rather look at a set of veneers than at a Brit's rotting, stained and yellow teeth. Sure, some veneers might look a bit too new and perfect but that is preferable to what you quite often see in this small island, and that includes Scotland.

[*Bob*]

Well it's all pros and cons, isn't it?

My teeth are fine, on account of looking after them. And on account of being able to afford to look after them, of course.

But if I was less well-off, I'd choose worse teeth and a health service free at the point of delivery. After all, you don't die on account of having bad teeth.

[Huguenot]

Well.....

[*Bob*]

For example, would you agree that live, reasonably healthy people also 'look better' than dead ones who couldn't afford medical insurance?

[Brendan]

Not always.

[cate]

British people are very fortunate to have the NHS. So why do a lot of them have hideous teeth? They should be able to visit a dentist and have their nashers seen to and have free/subsidised treatment if they are on a low income. Gum disease can lead to bacterial infection which can cause all sorts of other problems. Smoking and drinking can lead to oral cancers. It's so bizarre to me when I hear people boasting that they haven't been to the dentist in 'years' as if that is something to be proud of. More education is needed.

[SteveT]

I think they know well enough cate, they need more courage and pain killers!

[*Bob*]

cate Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> British people are very fortunate to have the NHS.

> So why do a lot of them have hideous teeth?

Your view of NHS dentistry (up until very recently especially) is somewhat rose-tinted.

'American Teeth' have, sadly, never been available on the NHS.

Indeed, for some people, any sort of dentistry on the NHS has been hard to find.

However, you're right of course in that ignorance plays its part as well. I expect it's also the reason why so many Americans are repulsively obese. Fat or bad teeth. It's a tough call.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I've seen American Teeth in London. Great plot.

[Brendan]

I think it is just that they aren?t very good at personal hygiene cate. But then my wife says I?m not allowed to judge them for it especially seen as I?ve got rubbish teeth myself.

[cate]

Bedhead and greasy hair seems to be very common over here. Makes for a very attractive look coupled with the stained and rotting teeth. And what is is with the grey unshaved look so many not so young men seem to sport nowadays? Tip for a good Christmas present: electric toothbrush. No effort involved. The best ones have timers that tell you when to change areas every 30 seconds. One of the best things I ever bought. Does a much better job than a manual brush.

[Jah Lush]

David Bowie looked far more interesting before he got his Hampsteads fixed. Same goes for Keith Richards. What is America's obsession with perfectly white symetrical teeth. Everyone looks the same.

[????]

Martin Amis got his done too

[RosieH]

Yeah, but I think Amis was in serious trouble with his teeth before he did (at least that's the impression Experience gives)

[mockney piers]

I think bedheqd and greasy hair is commonly achieved with expensive nonsense from l'oreal.

Seriously though this is a very silly debate ;-)

[RosieH]

It is. No contest, British men are HOT.

[cate]

Jah Lush Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> David Bowie looked far more interesting before he

> got his Hampsteads fixed. Same goes for Keith

> Richards. What is America's obsession with

> perfectly white symetrical teeth. Everyone looks

> the same.

It's not about having perfect symmetrical teeth. It's about having healthy teeth. If it helps your bite and therefore your jaw alignment to have them straightened etc. then fine. The main thing is to go to the dentist twice a year and have plaque removed and gums checked. Otherwise you can get bacteria entering the bloodstream and affecting your heart amongst other problems. Evidently having dirty rotten teeth used to be considered a sign of wealth as it meant you could afford sugar as it used to be very expensive. Lovely. I would love to go back in time 200 years or so just to see what kind of smells were wafting about.

I believe Keith Richards got his teeth fixed after they were damaged by his smack addiction.

[*Bob*]

Indeed.

Likewise, it's not about having the body of cross-channel swimmer, it's about having healthy body. Stop eating twenty-seven packets of crisps and a sack of doughnuts every day, lose the XXXXL pastel-coloured shapeless t-shirts which cling to your 'moobs' - and why not try walking the fifty yards to the shop instead of driving there in an enormous truck sitting on pumped-up suspension.. whilst listening to music featuring slide guitar?

[cate]

Boob, why do you keep coming back to the obese Yank theme? Britain is fast catching up with the US in the fat bod stakes, according to The World Health Organisation. There are increasing cases of type II diabetes here. 27% of 10-11 year kids in Southwark were classed as obese in 2007.