What's worked best?

[rubyroo]

We're expecting our second child early Feb and would like some help. Our daughter is 3.5 years and goes to nursery every afternoon. I'm wondering what people have found most useful - help in the afternoon and early evening? live-in or not? is live-in that much cheaper? I had an emerg C-sect before and am concerned about getting my daughter to nursery should I have to have a second one (have one or two medical complications which might necessitate). It's so hard to know what to book up in advance but don't want to leave it to the last minute either. Also I'd be grateful for any recommendations of agencies. We'd definately need someone who drives.

[Goodliz]

Hi Rubyroo. I did not have help but would have loved it round times like mealtimes and when I knew I was on a deadline if that makes sense. Evenings from about 4.30pm would have been great. It might be worth getting them to start before the baby is due so number 1 can get used to them.

I'd also recommend you have the person who helps you to spend more attention on the baby rather than the toddler. I found it was my toddler who needed most of my attention (understandably I guess!). As long as baby number 2 was fed and clean he was fine.

People also recommend maternity nurses who live in for a bit and bring the baby to you in the night when you need to feed them etc. Once you have fed them they put them back to bed - luxury!

Reading this back it sounds like I am a really awful and cold mother - I don't mean it like that. Just trying to be realistic about those sleep deprived first few/ several/ many (in my case!) months.

I am sure you will get lots of advice. Good luck x

[Pickle]

Like Goodliz I didn't have help (my oldest was just under 17 months when no. 2 was born), but for me the most useful time to have someone around, even now, is dinner/bath/bedtime. It sounds like that would be ideal in your situation - someone who could do your nursery run and then give you a hand until the kids are in bed. I don't have any recommendations but I'm sure you'll get lots of responses through the forum.

P x

[Family Room Moderator]

Hi rubyroo

I thought you might get more response in the discussion part of the family room.

FRM