Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I thought this was an isolated London thing. But no, there are those here and elsewhere who are also 'challenged by cutlery'


My children do come home from school with phrases and attitudes that obviously rub off from school. One boy this week-end informed me "Me and Sam are going park" but a quick question soon sorted it out and off they went "to the park". No harm done


However, the rot is setting in with the obvious challenge of 'how to use' knives and forks. Along with 'sitting on a chair straight'

I'd suspected that we'd imported the left hand fork, cut the food, then swap the fork into the right hand. From there proceed to eat wth the right hand held fork and your left hand fingers, kind of picnic style


Obviously the variation is to stab an item and eat it lolly-pop style from the fork, thus eliminating the tedious cutting process. Even more so, the make a fist and into them jamb the implements in a downwards stabby way seems to be growing in polularity.


Crab handed and other ways are also coming along too. And it's not isolated to this country, as last week I was in France, where they know a thing or two about food and eating. I saw the same cack handed thing happening there amongst the younger diners


I might blame America, or the use of I-phones, games, fast food and/or God help 'the parents'. Lastly I saw a child eating a burger 'sideways' with the cack hand. I despaired further than I'd ever despaired before, but when I saw he had a huge puffa jacket and sideways base ball cap on, it eased a little. Specially when I spotted burger sauce down the front zip area


But what the fark, knives, forks, plates and the rest. Are we going through an evolutionary mega WTF and food phase

This is all the result of the chronic lack of national pride throughout England today.


The proud Englishman keeps his knife in his right hand for all food served on a plate. You never know when you will need to swiftly dispatch the Scots, the Dons, or whoever else has the effrontery to invade during supper.


Thus explained my housemaster many years ago, when banning the bare-handed consumption of burgers in buns. One boy, a French chap, argued that at home his parents allowed the right-hand fork technique when it was more practical, such as for peas or rice. The simple reply: "That would explain Agincourt".


My advice: cane the boys, and next time you're in France burn the first cut-and-switcher you see at the stake. (The infamous Witch of Orl?ans was notorious for using the wrong hand, so there's a solid precedent.)

Alan Medic Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What if the proud Englishman is left-handed?


An excellent question. Put another way, which do you value more: your own life, or fitting in with the unspoken norm that everyone else seems to be following?


Any Englshman who has ever fretted about whether a dress code will be lounge suits or sports jackets will tell you that survival comes a distant second place. So the knife stays in the right, and one hopes the marauders will be overpowered by one's right-handed dining companions before they pass the salt line.

Alan Medic Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What if the proud Englishman is left-handed?



Oh dear, we know you're joshing here Alan


Your a very funny Ireland man indeed


(there are no left handed English men, my brother is left handed and was born in Ireland)

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • We’ve got a gap on the roof of our shed that needs patching  don’t want to buy a huge roll so hoping someone has some leftover  happy to collect/reimburse 
    • I never said I thought it was targeted or deliberate. There also has never been a “stand off” or confrontation, we’ve spoken to them in a friendly manner about it. Our experience is they don’t seem to care. That’s the frustrating thing for us, if someone politely raises a concern at least take a second to reflect. Treat others how you would want to be treated.  I don’t want them to lose their job, far from it. But considering it could cost me a days work to fix any damage, I’m within my right to try prevent it.   
    • The SE22 Evri delivery family are lovely, and always say hello wherever we spot them in the area. We gave them a box of chocolates during Covid as they were working their socks off at Christmas
    • What was he doing on the stage at Glastonbury? Or on the stage at the other concert in Finsbury Park? Grinning like a Cheshire cat whilst pissed and stoned 20 somethings on the promise of free internet sung-- Oh Jeremy Corbyn---  What were his policies for Northern mining towns with no jobs or infrastructure? Free Internet and university places for youngsters. What were his other manifesto pledges? Why all the ambiguity over Brexit?  I didn't like Thatcher, Blair or May or Tony but I respected them as politicians because they stood by what they believed in. I respect all politicians across the board that stick to their principles. Corbyn didn't and its why he got  annihilated at the polls. A socialist, anti imperialist and anti capitalist that said he voted for an imperialist and pro capitalist cabal. He refused to say how he'd vote over and over again until the last knockings. He did so to appease the Islington elite and middle class students he was courting. The same people that were screaming that Brexit was racist. At the same time the EU were holding black and Asian immigrants in refugee camps overseas but not a word on that! Corbyn created and courted a student union protest movement that screamed at and shouted down anyone not on the left . They claimed Starmer and the centre right of labour were tories. He didn't get elected  because he, his movement and policies were unelectable, twice. He turned out not to have the convictions of his politics and died on his own sword.    Reform won't win an election. All the idiots that voted for them to keep out Labour actually enabled Labour. They'll be back voting tory next time.    Farage wouldn't be able to make his millions if he was in power. He's a very devious shyster but I very much doubt he'd actually want the responsibility that governance requires.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...