Knives, Forks & other eating challenges

[Seabag]

I thought this was an isolated London thing. But no, there are those here and elsewhere who are also 'challenged by cutlery'

My children do come home from school with phrases and attitudes that obviously rub off from school. One boy this week-end informed me "Me and Sam are going park" but a quick question soon sorted it out and off they went "to the park". No harm done

However, the rot is setting in with the obvious challenge of 'how to use' knives and forks. Along with 'sitting on a chair straight'

I'd suspected that we'd imported the left hand fork, cut the food, then swap the fork into the right hand. From there proceed to eat wth the right hand held fork and your left hand fingers, kind of picnic style

Obviously the variation is to stab an item and eat it lolly-pop style from the fork, thus eliminating the tedious cutting process. Even more so, the make a fist and into them jamb the implements in a downwards stabby way seems to be growing in polularity.

Crab handed and other ways are also coming along too. And it's not isolated to this country, as last week I was in France, where they know a thing or two about food and eating. I saw the same cack handed thing happening there amongst the younger diners

I might blame America, or the use of I-phones, games, fast food and/or God help 'the parents'. Lastly I saw a child eating a burger 'sideways' with the cack hand. I despaired further than I'd ever despaired before, but when I saw he had a huge puffa jacket and sideways base ball cap on, it eased a little. Specially when I spotted burger sauce down the front zip area

But what the fark, knives, forks, plates and the rest. Are we going through an evolutionary mega WTF and food phase

[TheArtfulDogger]

You wouldn't get this sort of problem if the Chinese were a bigger superpower than America

Still I guess chopsticks would be a challenge when eating McDonald's as the gherkins are slippery little buggers

[peckham_ryu]

This is all the result of the chronic lack of national pride throughout England today.

The proud Englishman keeps his knife in his right hand for all food served on a plate. You never know when you will need to swiftly dispatch the Scots, the Dons, or whoever else has the effrontery to invade during supper.

Thus explained my housemaster many years ago, when banning the bare-handed consumption of burgers in buns. One boy, a French chap, argued that at home his parents allowed the right-hand fork technique when it was more practical, such as for peas or rice. The simple reply: "That would explain Agincourt".

My advice: cane the boys, and next time you're in France burn the first cut-and-switcher you see at the stake. (The infamous Witch of Orl?ans was notorious for using the wrong hand, so there's a solid precedent.)

[Alan Medic]

What if the proud Englishman is left-handed?

[Earl Aelfheah]

Alan Medic Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What if the proud Englishman is left-handed?

I suspect he would struggle on using the cutlery in the proper fashion and a stiff upper lip.

[peckham_ryu]

Alan Medic Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What if the proud Englishman is left-handed?

An excellent question. Put another way, which do you value more: your own life, or fitting in with the unspoken norm that everyone else seems to be following?

Any Englshman who has ever fretted about whether a dress code will be lounge suits or sports jackets will tell you that survival comes a distant second place. So the knife stays in the right, and one hopes the marauders will be overpowered by one's right-handed dining companions before they pass the salt line.

[Seabag]

Alan Medic Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> What if the proud Englishman is left-handed?

Oh dear, we know you're joshing here Alan

Your a very funny Ireland man indeed

(there are no left handed English men, my brother is left handed and was born in Ireland)