Is it ok to stop BFing cold turkey?

[gillandjoe]

I am ready to stop breastfeeding my 18 month old. He has always fed very frequently and still feeds 6,7.8.... times a night.

I have tried the 'don't offer, don't refuse' technique over the last few months but he is a very assertive breastfeeder and is showing no signs of slowing down.

I can't take it anymore! My partner and I have decided to stop cold turkey over the Easter weekend, so I will stay at my parents' house for a couple of days and my partner will do all the night time stuff with his mum to help there in the day.

My questions are:

Is this cruel?

How long does it take to break the BF habit and for my milk to dry up?

How do I reduce my supply?

and I have no intention of replacing with a bottle, is this ok?

Any other tips would be much appreciated!! I'm terrified but feel that it is really my time to stop.

Thank you!

[canela]

you might find that it takes a bit longer than a few days for your milk to dry up, but the best thing to achieve that is just to stop. you might find it a bit painful to give up cold turkey if you are bf every night but i know people who have done so just with a few paracetemol.

interested in why you don't replace with a bottle? this is the easiest as lots of toddlers will happily accept a bottle in exchange for breast and so giving up bf is easier. it allows them their desire to suck. without this, i'm not sure that the bf habit will be gone after a few days. the advantage of going for a bottle first is that lots of kids really like it and will accept it as an alternative to you. of course you may then decide you want to wean off bottle quite quickly, but the experience of friends and relatives suggests to me that it makes it easier to do it in these stages.

[RenF]

Only thing with cold turkey is there not a risk of engorgement and associated problems?

Do you have a pump or can you hand express a little to relieve this if it gets really bad? Paracetamol also helpful I guess for any pain...

[cashewnut]

Just a word of caution for you on stopping suddenly. Most people I have spoken to had no problems when stopping but I found this to be an extremely uncomfortable process (even though I did it gradually). I wouldn't be afraid to express a little if you are in discomfort. So long as this is less each day your milk will still dry up even if it takes a bit longer.

edited: sorry crossed posts with RenF to say the same thing (for the second time in two days I believe!)

[buggie]

Does he take a cup for drinks already?? If he doesn't use a bottle already I'd avoid trying to introduce it now as really from 1yr up you're wanting to swap to a cup anyway.

If you're still breast feeding in the day & there's regular times he feeds, maybe offer a cup of milk beforehand (might also help your boobs reduce how much their producing).

[simonethebeaver]

I have a 22 month old enthusiastic feeder, and I am trying to work out how to stop for various medical reasons. I did hope a work trip I went on four months ago for three days was going to be an enforced end to it all, but when I got back she just jumped on me, so two days away might not be enough.

[JulieP]

In terms of using / not using the bottle. With no2 managed to wean him off using the not offering approach at age 2 and he went straight to drinking water / juice from a cup. No3 weaned using a bottle at the same age but he drank a lot of milk and still does a year later, although not using the bottle now. He seems to need to drink a lot more than no2 and loves milk. I don't think I would have been able to wean no3 without the bottle but I think it depends on the primary reason for bf (thirst/hunger versus comfort). That may also have a bearing on how much milk you are producing and how uncomfortable stopping will be for you. Good luck with it

[keane]

I think at 18 months u can go straight from b feeding to a cup, I went to a tommy tippee cup at 14 months with my first child and at 9 months with my second - I felt easier to miss out the bottle as one less thing to wean off and they seemed to adapt to the cup really well as it still has that 'sippy' feel. Also they are having solids so though milk is important its not the same as in the first 6 months. I think it's ok to go cold turkey with the night feeds tho at 18 months as too tiring! We did it with our eldest over a week by offering him water in his cup when he woke at night (he was 14 months) and after a week of protesting he got bored with the prospect of water and stopped waking and started eating more in the day so it was worth it! Good luck!

[WorkingMummy]

I definitely don't think cold turkey is cruel. It sounds good sense in the situation you describe. I did it with my first and it was hard on her but not for long.

Decongestants (at the dose found in normal lemsip, for eg) radically reduces milk production. In the States, midwives recommend it to help reduce engorgement when going cold turkey (or when going on a long flight without baby and no means to express).

Would echo what others say about having a pump to hand just in case.

Good luck! May your first unbroken night's sleep for 18 months swiftly be upon you!

[WorkingMummy]

Ps. The plan with your partner and his mum sounds perfect. I did something like that with an overnight stay away from my daughter but I think a weekend would have been even better.

Put your feet up!

[gillandjoe]

Thanks for all your tips, ladies! My computer failed me just after I posted so I've only just read them! I feel a lot better about going away for a few days now and we are definitely going to do it.

I'm thinking, films, shopping, reading with a glass of wine on my own... I can't wait! :) xx

[MonkeyMoped]

x

[laurac]

I stopped cold turkey with both my daughters at 13 and 14 months - like you they both were still waking and feeding 4/5 times plus a night and I just got to the end of my tether - in fact, with my oldest I also stopped feeding over the Easter weekend! In both cases I was co-sleeping so I guess this maybe made it easier - when they woke up I would just cuddle them and say it was not the time for milk anymore and they were both sleeping through by night three.

My daughters both were already using cups so we stuck with this - but I would definitely take some of the advice above re: expressing etc - certainly second time around I remember it being very painful to the point I couldn't hold my daughter for a day or so - and taking a long time (10 days?) for the engorgement to subside....good luck!