quickbrownfox

Eating their half eaten left overs. I now wait patiently to be given her toast crusts like some some of strange puppy. Why make your own piece when two pieces' worth of their crusts is nearly as good?

We've never been away without our daughter - for no particular reason. We even had her in the room on our wedding night (mother in law did not deliver on promised babysitting!!!) This thread has made me think seriously about it again. Although I remember we once went to Porto without our dog, and I remember us (pathetically) saying to each other over dinner "I miss Foxy"... "I miss Foxy too". How sad are we!!!

Sonja - I had totally forgotten about night sweats! They were hideous and hung around for months. My husband is generally pretty unshockable, but even he wasn't charmed.... and I think there is no cure.... uuurgh.

If ED nurseries for that age are full (which I suspect many will be), there is a Bright Horizons near London Bridge. It has a high capacity (2 baby rooms), so if local isn't an option, I would try them (not cheap though!)

Sex discrimination by virtue of the fact that the policy disproportionately affects those with primary childcare responsibilities (who are much more likely to be women) is a possible angle, but not a card I would recommend playing unless you feel the relationship with the employer has completely broken down and you have no other alternative. I feel there is also a question around whether the restrictions are reasonable and necessary, and if so, if there are any ways to lessen the impact on individuals with conflicts. I would recommend (and not suggesting you have not done this already) that you go to your employer with a number of suggestions for how work can be rearranged to cope with your absence in order to make it less disruptive for you to be away at that time - this may include catching up on a few hours in the evening, doing some additional hours before you go away etc etc... This particular scenario is unlikely to be regarded as a 'family emergency' and the right to (unpaid) parental leave is subject to an approval process - employers do have the option to refuse if the timing or duration would cause unacceptable disruption. Good luck with getting it sorted. These situations are stressful, but in my experience only become more so for the employee in particular once things become adversarial.

I'd like to know too, but I am fairly certain it's just 5 mornings or nought!

I think they call these 'night terrors' and they are very common at around this age (apparently the cause is developmental, so it's not only normal but a sign that some key enhancements to the brain are taking place). My nephew had them badly, and a combination of having a light on, and teaching him to use his mind to work through and deal with the fear seemed to work. A woman (expert of some kind) on The Wright Stuff said that as children's minds are so adaptable you can say things to them like "imagine you are pushing Scarface out the bedroom and down the stairs and telling him to go home to his mummy" (ie essentially what you did, but encouraging them to participate in the exorcism!) PS Scarface Claw is scary. I may have to sleep with the nightlight on myself tonight!

I think a high academic standard at primary school is every bit as important as the quality of later education, for both able and less able children. I was lucky enough to go to an excellent state primary school and that solid foundation meant that the rest of my school career was relatively straightforward - not having to try too hard (and still doing well because you are at a quality school) means there's more time for other things like.....chilling out....sport....friends. Getting things right from the start (whether state or private) I think can avoid problems later on. Although your daughter's happiness at her current school definitely makes it a more difficult decision, she would adapt quickly to a new school I am sure, probably quicker now than at any stage in the future. PS My mum taught at a Steiner school for a time, and her feedback was the children were lovely (very gentle environment) but that it's not ideal for kids who thrive on competitive sports or need more variety in the curriculum later in life.

I am going to bed laughing. A lot. I particularly like how she is not only pumping like a dairy cow, but doing so while wearing lycra, talking on the phone, writing lists and sucking in her tummy. She's my kinda lady! We should all aspire to be her.

Can't see the link - try again - I need a giggle.

Oh EmmaG, words cannot express the ride you're in for. But as my (male) boss rather mysteriously said to me when I went on maternity leave - 'it's worth it, it really is all worth it!' - you just won't think so when you're dog tired and have forgotten to brush your hair for a week!!! Then again, you may be one of those supermums (I've seen them on US TV programmes), and if so I want to hear from you once you're a few months into it to give me courage for Number 2!!

Lots of the men I used to work with had their kids at The Portland. Although the men raved about being able to order burgers and chips from the menu mid-labour, all but one of the mums (out of a sample of 7 or 8) ended up having 'emergency' caesarean sections. I am convinced based on that (and all the celebs that end up with c-sections at the Portland) that you're more likely to have intervention at a posh hospital (just my humble opinion)! We seriously considered private, but in the end my rationale for going public was that if I was destined for a shocker of a birth, it was going to be bad no matter where I was, except afterwards, we would be much poorer with the private option. That said, Kings and giving birth in general was more hideous than I imagined despite no major issues, so if I had a second, I would definitely sniff around for an option that provides just that little more TLC and comfort, but I think you get this with some of the great midwifery practices like Albany/ Brierley etc. Just knowing who is likely to be with you during labour (as opposed to some random who doesn't know you or your husband from Adam) would make a huge difference.

I'm feeling quite nauseous. Baby number 2 plans: abandoned.

We never swaddled on the basis that I couldn't be bothered to figure out how to do it, and our daughter slept well. There are lots of contraptions on the market that make swaddling much easier though, if you can do with one less thing to mess about with, and from what I hear, in the summer, you can even just swaddle in a large muslin. I'm no expert though.

As a hyperactive type of person, I dismissed the advice of wise women to slow down, reduce expectations of myself and generally just chill out after having a baby, and if necessary, be a bit of a slob. How right they were, so so so right.....

Fascinating comment about the impact family-friendly policies have had on the careers/ perception of men with children in Sweden. I feel the flexible working legislation in the UK has been a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it has given parents genuine rights which many employers are simply too fearful of grievances/ litigation/ general dramas to ignore. As a result it has definitely become easier for women to get the part-time hours they require (even if if means a guilt filled ride, and is far from perfect!). Conversely, particularly outside the public service, being recruited into a new role as part-timer is still extremely difficult (well done aj693 for managing to negotiate this), which means that very often women, once having their part time hours agreed to, remain in less than fulfilling roles as they are unable (or feel they are not able) to secure another role on similar terms. The amount of times I have heard managers say about their part-time women "she's great, she comes in and does her job, but she's not interested in doing any more', yet I know from speaking to those same women that they would love to do more AND earn more, but feel they can't jeopardise the precarious balance between life and home. Anyway, on balance, I think we as a society are making progress......still loving this thread, so keep them stories coming!

Does it work (the singing) even for tone deaf types like me?

I liked the Baby Whisperer's EASY approach - which is really just a cycle that you repeat a few times a day. EAT ACTIVITY SLEEP You time (cheesy) It means baby expects certain things to follow after one another, but you can make those intervals longer or shorter depending on what you need to do, or what they need they day.

Go out shopping/ for coffee and leave Dad to sort it out :)

You may have to get a couple....63 to Farringdon and then you can walk up to Grey's Inn Rd (or maybe get the 17 from there, but not overly reliable). It's a nice walk. Or you can train it from Denmark Hill to City Thameslink, and get the 8, 242 or 25 along whatever road that is that goes up to Chancery Lane, and walk the last bit. Or... you can train to London Bridge from ED and catch the 17 from there. On reflection, I would go with this last option. The 63 can be a long journey, and Denmark Hill as we all know is no good for buggies. Here's the link to their own directions: http://www.coramsfields.org/visit.php

Pizza Express in the Village. We get the kids menu and eat her ice cream.

Loving the summary - thanks. I am going to add: http://www.coramsfields.org/ Great central London location means you can drag toddler round Covent Garden shopping in the morning while fresh and co-operative, and then whip them away to the free, flexible and lovely spot that is Coramfields when they need to do their own thing for a bit. If you go early in the morning, you can be back in East Dulwich by nap time.

MIBs are a lovely group of people - genuinely supportive of each other and full of useful information.