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I don't remember my parents calling it anything......... so I called it my "front bum". Isn't it obvious?

It is quite common in US popular culture right now to refer to it as your "vajayjay". It began on an episode of Grey's Anatomy, then Oprah Winfrey began to use it and the rest is history. I think it's pretty funny, if you use it because you can't bring yourself to say "vagina" then it's a bit sad. But let's be honest, vagina is not the most elegant word and vajayjay is fun to say and sounds a bit like a party! A good friend of mine wrote and performed a one woman play called The Vajayjay Monologues as a response to the this; she questioned how we went from The Vagina Monologues to calling it cute names and watching celebrities flash it all over hollywood. Not exactly progress. The play did quite well at the New York Fringe Festival.

I think it's so hard to tell with toddlers because they are mostly irrational anyway! My son is now 3 1/2 and the tantrums have mostly gone, but he still has an incredible temper when things don't go his way and we are working on that. It's worth pointing out that his school has never seen it, so clearly it is a dynamic that has been created within our family. I think the biggest issue with toddlers is to not get into bad habits, which is why my son has learned to put on a "show" for us. I was new to London (UK in fact), my husband was working so I was on my own for 12 hours a day with a toddler who was incredibly difficult and it was kind of a perfect storm...... I was stressed and homesick and he was too, and also reacting to my stress I assume. Sooooooo, it didn't take long for us to set up a bit of a dysfunctional dynamic. I needed to be much firmer with him didn't have the fight in me at the time. A bit extreme, but I went to counselling for a bit and was a surprised to realize I have boundary issues, setting them and then enforcing them. A surprise to me, but it was completely true once I thought about it. This was actually what I need to know to improve my parenting because I realized that it's good and healthy to set a boundaries for children and following through. I no longer second guess myself, and my son is learning that if I say it I mean it, no more fighting and giving in. Everything I know about child development (did a degree in that many years ago) reminds me that children need to know what is expected so they can "get it right". My inability to express and uphold my expectations was zapping my son of his confidence and he was having terrifying tantrums as his only way to express his fear and frustration. With me. My parents also believed that I was too clever for boundaries (hmmmm, and counselling showed me the long term effects, not good). What you always have to remember is that no matter how clever or independant a child is, the stages of development are quite static and you must still treat them as a child of the age they are. And all ages need to know what is expected of them to confidently know they are doing well. If you have ever had a job as an adult where you never really knew what you were supposed to be doing and always felt a bit like you were failing to meet the expectations of that job you will know what it feels like. Then imagine it's in your home. Obviously I'm still learning, but we're getting there and turning three has made a huge difference. And learning that it is about us and not just him has helped so much because I am no longer afraid for his future. He's wonderful at school. So we muddle through and he's just such an amazing little guy, my hero really.

Jollybaby it's okay, I kind of entered into parenthood kicking and screaming as well....... not that I didn't want to have a baby, I did, but at 30-something I had become quite self absorbed as you do and suddenly to have a long list if things you either CAN'T or MUST do didn't sit well. Don't worry, motherhood will quickly zap that independent spirit! I think it took about, oh, a day after my son was born to realize that NOTHING was about me anymore. It's all good. These are all great, thanks moms for making me laugh. We're all so worried about doing the right thing, and stressing about the things we KNOW are straight out of the Big Book of Bad Parenting that it's nice to know that we are all just doing the best we can under insane conditions. Smiler you are an evil genius (but have left my son to sleep all afternoon as well.....). But it makes me wonder.... Does parenthood make you and your partner a team? Or like my case, has self preservation divided you a bit? I've noticed we each seem to have a scoreboard in our heads, usually who "suffered most" this week and who will make it up to them.... some days I am so blown away by my performance as "the victim" I think I should get a role on CSI! Please keep the laughter rolling......

When my son was three weeks old we went to an evening parenting class. All the other newborns were happily sleeping in their bucket car seats while ours grumped and fussed until we picked him up and held him facing the circle of parents so he could see what was going on. He stopped the show when he laughed out loud to a joke the instructor told. Three weeks old! It was surreal. We knew we were in trouble. I obviously don't think he "got" the joke, but he had clear and strong opinions and a need to be involved at that young age, and it was the first sign that we had a child with a big personality and incredible intensity. While the other babies were lying on the floor admiring shiny things, mine dragged himself around the house at 5 months. At seven months he climbed up the wooden staircase. I'm saying this because I understand what it means to have a child that is so quick and sure, and also the demands on parents of these "more" children to think fast to stay one step ahead. Have by no means cracked it, but have learned two really important things: 1. Pay people to keep them busy. These kids are incredibly exhausting, mentally and physically, and sending my son to pre-school three mornings a week allows me to take a deep breath let my guard down for a couple of hours. And he learns by watching the other children respond to boundaries. I was terrified of sending him there because I was sure he would be too much to handle, but it's been brilliant and not a single problem. Why? They are consistent! Which leads to my other important lesson.... 2. Think Horton Hears a Who: "I meant what I said and I said what I meant". Clear expectations. Clear consequences (with choices...... eg. "tidy up your toys or no painting" and then most importantly follow through! eg. "I said we would not paint if the toys were not picked up. They are not picked up so we won't be painting. Maybe we'll try again tomorrow." End of story. The second I let my son think there is the slightest chance I might waver he plays on it. And he'll work it and work it until I think I literally will lose my mind and then he's got me and he's won. The "terrible twos " might as well have been called the "torture your poor mother with such fierce tantrums at the slightest disappointment until she loses the will to live" twos because he learned to use them, and he knew that they wore me down. So, I have to set the boundaries before it ever gets there, and then follow through. I think this is what they do at his school and why he has had no problems there. And Ondine you are so right, much better to learn these lessons young and grow with them than have them imposed much later and struggle to understand what is expected of you.

Okay now Little Cook seriously gives me the creeps, riding around on that wooden spoon. It just looks wrong. Very wrong.

They called us pervs, the cheek! Quickly wishing maybe I'd kept that one to myself :-$

Ah shucks, thanks for that. Actually having some fun over on the slummy mummy thread so will stick around for a bit if that's okay.

No no no! Not sexual fantasies good god. No! He just seems, I don't know, like he could happily entertain my kid for a while as I soak in the tub and think about Sportacus (::o just kidding). The swearing thing though, um, yeah. Every time I pick my son up from pre-school I'm just waiting for them to pull me aside and say "we need to talk about ****'s language". The scary thing is that it's very rare, but contextually accurate. When I was teaching I had a 12 yr old girl in my class who said the f&*k word constantly. When I called her father to discuss the situation, he said (and I quote): "Well what the f&*k do you want me to do about it". Shocking, but I have to laugh every time I think about it.

We had the one from Grobag and it really was fantastic. Pricey since the duvet and pillow are not included, but it really solved the problem of him waking in the night from being cold. I would buy it again.

So funny....... I do too! I was waiting for someone else to go there. He's not my type at all but there's "something special" about him.:)

Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hmmm, perhaps I shouldn't try to chat with > "girls", as I find it all a bit scary in here at > times. :-S > > To be fair to Rogue apostrophe, I think their > point was, that speaking to the woman at the time > would have been useful, saying nothing, then > posting on here does nothing to actually help the > situation, hence the term "p!ssing in the wind", > i.e. a bit pointless. > > So do you all see what the majority say on here > (via sonar), then decide on what is morally right, > based on what everyone else thinks? ;-) I am actually responding a bit to this, as well as a few other previous posts suggesting that Keef doesn't fit in because he has an opinion, and that it must be a male thing. Nothing more. Maybe mob was a poor choice of words, but I've had many private messages from people that want to continue a topic but are too shy or uncomfortable doing it on the public forum. I can only assume that it's because plenty of people find it intimidating, even if it is anonymous. Not sure what else to say here, sometimes I like it very much and sometimes I don't like it much at all. Right now I am kind of "wondering why on earth I bother coming here".

Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > PS. I think the one armed girl is called Kerry. > The fact that she has a lower arm amputation > should not be an issue. > > She should however be taken off air for the > annoying ernest look she gives to the camera > whilst singing "the time has come to say > goodnight"!!!!!!!! Yep, fully agree with that annoying look. AND Keef, I hope you do stay because I often agree with you! I don't want to believe that because I am a women I can't consider views other than my own, and even if it is a family forum people who are willing to brave the mob and say how they feel are needed here. Plenty of people silently agree but are afraid to post, which I don't think serves the intended purpose. I hope that the purpose of this forum is not to have one person make a statement and everyone else line up to agree and give a pat on the back, there is no point in that. Well some days we all need that I guess....... but there should also be room for dialogue. Please keep adding your insights, I find them to be very thoughtful.

Well there seem to be plenty of perfect mums out there but I am not one of them, because......... As I sit here surfing the internet and reading "the Forum" my son is being neglected. But it gets worse. I am making him watch a television show that we find appalling....... the awful Lazytown, and I think you know why. That's right, Sportacus, mummy porn (the shame!) and I don't believe for one minute I'm the only one who has noticed that if you turn the volume off he's easy on the eyes (sans ugly eurotrash sporty costume....... oh yes I did just say that!) I have no defense. I'm not proud. But admitting you have a problem is the first step, they say. Please tell me somebody else has a slummy mummy (or daddy) habit? I can't be shocked, really!

Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. Amazon says it's age 4-8 but my three year old has been known to whisper the poem to us at bedtime........ wow melt your heart. This on WILL make you cry, no doubt about it. Sometimes I get teary just THINKING about it!. All of the other Munsch books are fantastic too.

I don't live there, but I love the Copleston/Oglander area very much. That's where I would look, seems like the best of both worlds. Only a five minute walk to Lordship Lane as well. Oh and I think the going rate on rentals might be slightly less due to SE15 code (seems so random and silly but........). Lovely lovely area. Or have I got it wrong?

Fuschia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I puree sweet potato, peas, corn and broccoli into > a tomato pasta sauce. > Can also puree into cheese sauce, it goes a bit > orange. Yep, and then put it on a pita, add a bit of shredded cheese and bake a couple of minutes. Mine will eat anything on "pizza".

Looks like Canada does actually offer a shingles vaccination for seniors but it's out of pocket. The stats aren't great, seems like it's better at reducing symptoms with only a 53% prevention rate. Better than nothing I guess. And great if you're in that 53%. So it doesn't look like there is any reason for most people to get either of these things anymore. I suspect that the cost of these illnesses on the system is far greater than the cost of the vaccinations, especially from what I know in family experience is a senior with shingles can be hospitalized for easily a month. Hmmmmmm

I was quite surprised that this isn't done here. My son was born in Canada and had it at his one year vaccinations. Since living here he has played with some seriously spotty children and never had a spot himself so I'm certain it works and considering how many other nasty bugs these little guys get I'm so glad that we won't have to contend with that one. The information on the Health Canada website says that between 90-95 % of Canadian children were getting chicken pox before the vaccine, and since the vaccine has only been available for about ten years I'd say that the majority of people getting shingles have had chicken pox. Apparently the vaccine is available to all ages, but it doesn't mention if getting it as an adult would improve one's immunity to shingles. Sounds like a good google search for someone?

beec Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Thanks for your advice! The one about booking a > row of 4 seats with the middle one free is > particularly cunning! Traveling with little ones is all about survival, baby! It's a no lose gamble....... either the plane is not full and you get the whole row (delicious when it happens) , or it is full and you offer the "guest" one of the aisle seats and an adult on one side so it doesn't effect the quality of their flight (don't need bad karma on such trips :) ). I can't claim the idea though, it was actually suggested by a clerk at check in once and we've pre-booked that way ever since.

Yep, extra seats are gold! If money were no object I'd just buy a row of seats......

We took the car seat on a long haul flight thinking it was just the most brilliant idea. It was okay, especially for the first half of the flight, but eventually my son had had about enough of the seat (in hindsight not the most comfortable thing to be in for 10 hours) and he really didn't want to be in it anymore. So now we had a car seat taking up our extra paid for seat and a child who then had nowhere to sit. We hadn't thought of that. Wouldn't do it again but it sure seemed like a good idea at the time! We do long haul at least a couple of times a year and rarely end up on flights with any extra seats so you can't really count on that. One tip: we usually try to book our three seats in a row of four, with the empty one in the middle. That way if they can at all help it they will usually try to find a better seat for the poor soul who gets sold that middle seat. Like I said it doesn't help on a fully booked flight but always worth a shot.

Considering how little regard you have for the issues surrounding mental illness (made obvious by many previous statements), I have to wonder why you would ever go in there again? Supporting the charity generally means supporting the cause. You can't claim to support the mentally ill and then turn around and complain that they don't act "right".

I believe that most people were sympathetic to begin with. I think you will find that the tone changed after the Daily Mail piece because many people (myself included) felt that it was a step too far .... especially to have this man's picture posted. You do NOT know his story, and as I've mentioned before, nobody thought what he did was right but to publicly drag him through the mud "for being rude and spraying air freshener" is outrageous. Has it ever occurred to you that he may have been hired BECAUSE he has a personality disorder and this sort of work training allows him to develop appropriate social skills? It is a MENTAL HEALTH CHARITY and yes, the proceeds from the shop are essential for the work they do but by god is it not obvious that it's different from what you expect from M and S? I don't believe for a second that localmama orchestrated this mess, I absolutely believe that you are as much a victim of this nonsense and am sorry to you for it getting so ugly. And Heidi, why are you demanding he be drawn hung and quartered when localmama has simply asked for an apology and review of Mind's policies? And I will not apologize for trying to understand this story within a larger context and showing a little humanity towards both sides........ that does not make me "as bad as him". What an ugly load of nonsense. I am gobsmacked ..... ....."it's your problem if you don't like it". Charming.

Oh Fuschia how awful! I literally felt ill reading that. Please use the straps.:)