helena handbasket

It seems silly until you have to take a baby to A and E because he's fallen and landed on his head. You don't exactly feel like mother of the year explaining that one, I can tell you from experience. Please use the straps.

(tu)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, in a righteous society sympathy and compassion should not be reserved for the obviously deserving but extended to those who are less obvious. Isn't that why we don't kill killers or torture torturers? Grace.

edited to remove my reply What's the point.

I don't think most people on this thread are anti breast feeding. I know I'm not and this thread has really made me uncomfortable. I don't think this "forum as jury" is morally right. This man may have mental health issues, nobody knows HIS story, and for all we know this job is his connection to functional living. Many people with such illnesses are just trying to get through the day and aren't thinking about their social skills or the politics of motherhood. I assume Mind hires these people because they have more difficulty finding and keeping jobs, and their mandate is to allow them to be productive and have a sense of achievement in what can otherwise be a very difficult life. Anybody who has loved someone with a mental illness will understand how badly this could go for this man. Charity doesn't begin and end with dropping off our clothes and picking up a cheap sweater. He has now been publicly made a villain, and this might actually be the community he and his family live in. I don't agree with the original issue, I think he was wrong, but as I have watched this unfold I have felt a real sense of shame that I continue to read it. I don't think the crime fits the punishment. And I don't think EDF has the right to be judge and jury. This incident should have been between the people involved and Mind.

R&A I like your post!

I speak for myself only, but I would happily use a family space far from the doors of the shop. I don't use them to be lazy, but to have space at the side of the car to open the door wide so I can kid my kid out of his technically challenging car seat without bashing the car parked beside us.

I agree.

Snowboarder, do you think you feel that way because women are always talking about it? I don't feel that way at all, but I was very afraid I would after the birth of my son by c-section. I was quite fixated on the birth and spent a good deal of time and thought working out my birth plan, which in the end went a much different way. BUT, once I had my son in my arms I didn't care one bit how he got out and have felt that way ever since. I know birth is a very special and significant experience, but it seems funny to me to have women agonize so over something we really have so little control over. Plenty of times I've watched women on this forum asking advice, taking it all in, and I sometimes wonder if there's such a thing as too much information. I got lucky, psychologically I could handle not having the vaginal birth we are told "our bodies were built for"...... but I wonder how many women become too emotional wrapped up in the endless stories. It makes me really sad to imagine that there are women that inevitably compare their stories to others and are consequently "disappointed" by their child's own birth. My son's birth was magical and extraordinary....... and surgical. It was NOT second best.

woodyp91 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Sound like your mother? My dear I AM your mother. My mother doesn't know how to turn on a computer, thank god. Then I'd hear more crazy talk than I already do.

Woody....... are you still here banging on with your conspiracy theories? You're starting to sound a bit like my mother. Flog that dead horse why don't you...........

I believe the child was properly diagnosed by qualified psychologists, but that doesn't mean they come home with you and help with the daily issues of living. They just diagnose, and if you're lucky, refer you to the next agency so you can be put on a waiting list. They clearly needed help and sadly, there is not much support for these families. On the other hand, I know a few people I'd like the Supernanny to go sort out, frankly.

Horsebox Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Are you going to answer my questions, TJ? > > I'm really interested in your claims. Clearly there are some theft issues around the neighborhood and it's in everybody's interest to better understand patterns and frequency. I don't see anyone else doing it, so........ can we maybe give TJ a break and show a bit of grace? I think it's fantastic that someone is showing this kind of initiative, thanks TJ.

I always assumed that the texture of food served to a baby was based on the teeth they had....... since they are mostly just gumming their food until around 8 or 10 months (I can't remember, wow memory is short!) I thought that was nature's way of telling me which foods he could handle....... basically anything that would easily mush up or dissolve. Then as more teeth come in the textures get more complex. And just guessing, but maybe molars coming in signal a transition to properly chewing more adult food? Or am I confusing adaptive traits from biology class :) Anyway I was always way too paranoid about choking. And I made some pretty awesome baby food! edited for pathetic spelling

What does that mean though, "not picked up ....... left to cry a little"? Has anyone actually researched how much time it takes to permanently alter a child's sleep patterns? Some mothers can bolt awake in an instant, others take a bit to orient themselves. In my case I recall my son screaming his little heart out and pulling my hair while waiting for food in the night...... but I couldn't have done it any faster. Did THAT negatively affect him as well? And I'm a bit wary of "studies" that make these links when there are so many variables that can't be controlled for. I did one of my university degrees in Developmental Psychology, and while I'm certainly no expert and it hasn't exactly given me much of a parenting advantage (darn!), I do know that the research is endless but CONCLUSIVE research is hard to pin down. For every study that claims "x" there is another that claims "y". So, while it is nice to pad our personal instincts and philosophies with these studies, remember that some new mother out there is reading this information as absolute truth and punishing herself for not getting it right. For the first six months of my son's life I was an emotional mess........ nothing went as planned, I was probably suffering from PND, and somehow all the attachment parenting people came out of the woodwork to remind me of the consequences of the "decisions" that I honestly didn't have much control over. Unfortunately this resulted in months of incredible self-loathing, and it took me a long time to get the clarity to look at it all and realize that it would take a lot more than bottle feeding or not co-sleeping to damage my son. And I will always resent those generalizations....... so dangerous. Since it is obviously not possible to keep large labs of babies for research, a lot of it is anecdotal based on information from the mother, who of course giving the best information she can but not entirely good science. The other measure is observation, which is tricky as well since it is impossible to adjust for mood, hunger, a bad night, and all those other things that make a baby different from day to day. It is impossible to control for the million variables from baby to baby. Anyway not sure my point here but I think what I'm trying to say is that I obviously believe in the value of research and I'm the first person to read and think about new research, it MUST be taken with a pinch of salt.

randomv Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I had a terrible sleeper who I often breast fed to > sleep until I implemented a routine and stopped > night feeds at 8 months. Since then we've had a > handful of disrupted nights, mostly down to colds > or teething. > > A friend of mine took her bad sleeper to Sleep > Clinic (!) at around 11 months and was told to > firstly adopt a daytime nap schedule that was > appropriate to his age and stop feeding to sleep > during the day. She was to continue feeding at > night initially so that LO got used to a long > period of rest and so that there wasn't too much > change happening at once. In fact she found that > immediately she sorted the daytimes the nights > drastically improved and he only woke once for a > feed. When this was stabilized she then stopped > feeding him at night and just comforted him if he > woke - which he didn't often do. > > I'm a firm believer in day and night sleep being > related and in the importance of a consistent > bedtime routine. I also believe (but I know this > is not for everyone) that older babies do need to > be gently guided in how to settle and resettle > themselves when they wake. For us it was the Pick > Up Put Down method that worked. Couldn't be more true! Once I sorted out the days (which took a long time and almost obsessive focus on my part) the nights got much better. But I made sure all sleep, day or night, was in the same place, same routine etc.. so that what he learned in the day carried over into the night. It's easier to start with the day because you're up anyway and not just desperately trying to get back to bed. And pick up/put down really does work, although at first it can literally take a hundred times! Wow was my son mad at first! Remembering that they are angry and not actually heartbroken helps......

Snowboarder I was thinking the exact same thing! I think most parents have the same bag of tricks, wether by instinct, advice or parenting books. Some babies accept it, some don't. It's easy to be successful at parenting when your child goes with it! But....... there are plenty of parents out there giving 150% every day just to get a bit of success, while watching their friends do so much less and have it all fall into place. Incredibly unfair and frankly demoralizing if it's you, but it is what it is and you just have to muddle through and comfort yourself that yes, I got this child because I am incredibly strong and can handle it. And in exchange for the hard work I got a gorgeous, brilliant, lovely yet challenging child who I am fully in love with and devoted to. But man can he test my will to live!

The Sun Essentials one is fantastic, have looked at it many times, but it doesn't multi-task. It won't double as a playpen/ cage ::o for those days you are on your own and need a safe place to put the baby down. Also I would worry that a determined one year old could get out in the night? Mine would have. On the other hand it looks incredibly light and easy.... hmmmm

Yep, Graco basic model. As mentioned, heavy and not cute, but folds well and can take a beating during travels. Ours travelled a lot, and it was on it's third child (given to us by friends). Also doubles as a safe place to park baby at home if (I mean when!) you need a shower etc.. Even my big bruiser lasted about 2 1/2 years in his. Couldn't have lived without it. Would recommend buying a little travel cot "mattress" at Mothercare though, it's a pretty hard sleeping surface I think. It just folds in with the cot so not at all a hassle.

Wow, I had to laugh while I read that Fuschia because it sounds lovely, and maybe a more laid back baby would go for that, but my son was way beyond "night night now roll over"! Baby SB does not sound like that baby either. I think that unless you have really lived the full impact of these determined little chaps it is possibly hard to imagine how resistant they are to such simple solutions? I too started out with the Pantley book, and it took me months to realize that it wasn't my crap mothering that was the problem but well intended advice meant for children that were very unlike my son. Strong willed children are no match for conventional parenting wisdom...... they eat it up and spit it out. Once I really understood my son and his personality I was able to ignore advice (and judgement for that matter) and start looking at parenting guides written specifically for "strong willed" or "spirited" children. I recently spotted a great book in the library by The Dr. Sears family........ I'm generally not a fan but they have a book that I think might be called Raising Your High Needs Baby, which is just another name for demanding. They actually really seem to understand these little guys and I thought the advice was reasonable. And since they are the royalty of attachment parenting it might be up your alley snowboarder. I would seriously give it a go, I really found myself wishing I had spotted it when my son was a baby. I think you will be relieved to see someone "get" your baby, I sure was. My son is still incredibly strong willed, always will be, and there are days where it's exhausting and you just wish they could be a little bit easier like everyone else's kid. BUT, historically spirited babies have turned into presidents and masters of industry. Their determination is their gift. They are wonderful children....... if you can survive them! Nobody can make me laugh the way my "larger than life" three year old can.

Jamma Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I wouldn't worry about a buggy lasting till 3. He > should be able to walk by then, so he can be made > to walk. You're going to be using it much less > past age 2. > And what's the worry with bumping down stairs? I have often wondered what people do with three year olds. I assumed my son would be old enough to walk everywhere, but in reality he is not even close to being able to do a long walk somewhere, go to shops etc.., and still have enough steam to get home. We end up taking the buggy everywhere because he is wayyyyyyy to heavy to lug home if things go wrong. Plus in the traffic and with busy sidewalks and all that sometimes it's just easier to pop him in the buggy and get on with it. Safer too. He's pretty big for the buggy though, and my husband and I can't figure out what everyone else does with these giant "babies"?

I think the chicken pox vaccine is part of the vaccination schedule, but pretty sure that it is not enforced "by law" any more than it is here (which is not at all, only social pressure). Canadians also get the chicken pox vaccine. The vaccination program is fairly recent (it wasn't around for me, I had the pox and have the marks to prove it) yet most Canadians who get shingles are older than me, soooooo can't see a vaccination/shingles connection. Then again, I may barking mad.

canj try this......Adorable vintage children's valentines I'm not having luck posting links today though, up all night with an ill child so brain's a bit mushy! These are like the kind I had as a child. It's Amazon U.S. but if you click on the UK site you can get them through there (bit late I guess). There's always doilies, sparkles and glue! That's what we did this year.

Guess it's a North American tradition to include the children and make it a bit less sexed up. Children's Valentine's Day projects

edited to remove a useless link!