computedshorty

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AIN'T IT GRAND TO BE BLOOMING WELL DEAD ! (Leslie Sarony) Leslie Sarony - 1933 Lately there's nothing but trouble, grief and strife There's not much attraction about this bloomin' life Last night I dreamt I was bloomin' well dead As I went to the funeral, I bloomin' well said, Look at the flowers, bloomin' great orchids Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! And look at the corfin, bloomin' great 'andles Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! I was so 'appy to think that I'd popped off I said to a bloke with a nasty, 'acking cough Look at the black 'earse, bloomin' great 'orses Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! Look at the bearers, all in their frock coats Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! And look at their top 'ats, polished with Guinness Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! Some people there were praying for me soul I said, "It's the first time I've been off the dole" Look at the mourners, bloomin' well sozzled Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! Look at the children, bloomin' excited Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! Look at the neighbours, bloomin' delighted Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! "Spend the insurance", I murmered, "For alack, You know I shan't be with you going back" Look at the Missus, bloomin' well laughing Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! Look at me Sister, bloomin new 'at on Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! And look at me Brother, bloomin' cigar on Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead! We come from clay and we all go back they say Don't 'eave a brick it may be your Aunty May Look at me Grandma, bloomin' great haybag Ain't it grand, to be bloomin' well dead!

NEVER LET ANOTHER BURN UPSET YOU. THIS IS QUITE AMAZING !!!!!! Impressive! Why did we never hear of this before??!! I've always just run it under the cold water tap. A woman's experience with burns . . .. Some time ago I was cooking some corn and stuck my fork in the boiling water to see if the corn was ready. I missed and my hand went into the boiling water.... A friend of mine, who was a Vietnam vet, came into the house, just as I was screaming, and asked me if I had some plain old flour... I pulled out a bag and he stuck my hand in it. He told me to keep my hand in the flour for 10 minutes which I did. He said that in Vietnam , there was a guy on fire and in their panic, they threw a bag of flour all over him to put the fire out...Well, it not only put the fire out, but he never even had a blister!!!! ... Long story short, I put my hand in the bag of flour for 10 mins, pulled it out and did not even have a red mark or a blister and absolutely NO PAIN.. Now, I keep a bag of flour in the fridge and every time I burn myself. *Cold flour feels even better than room temperature flour. I use the flour and have never ONCE had I ever had even a red spot/burn mark, or a blister! I even burnt my tongue once, put the flour on it for about 10 minutes ... the pain was gone and no burn. Try it . . . Experience a miracle! Keep a bag of flour in your fridge and you will be happy you did! BTW, don't run your burn area under cold water first, just put it directly into the flour for 10 minutes. I have tied a bag to my Zimmer!

Jimmy Cricket Dick Turpin Arthur Mullard Dicky Bird

Pigeons must be from a local Racing member, one in the foreground is pink ringed but his leg is broken it feeds from my hand, if they lay eggs in the chicken house I give them to the crow as I dont want to encourage them to breed, he dunks everything in his water, all the birds bathe in a water tray and leave a grey film on the surface, one to the left was born with only one leg.

The scene today in my garden. The injured Crow that we are caring for has now recovered a lot and I have made a resonable pen for it, I have named it Gordon as it hops about reminds me of a Gordon highlander dancing, he can be seen in his cage you can see why he must be caged look at one of my cats on top. This picture was taken today about 10 am when all the birds are out Gordon from his inner nightbox, the Chickens from their house, hundreds of wild birds come here daily. See picture att.

I am known locally to care for a few injured and recovering pets, people have come to look on me as some sort of convalescent Vets. I never know what is going to brought to me next, its hard to say, just wonder what will come here to me during the following day. There was the injured Duck that had a broken wing and it was so frail, I put it on our pond, it sailed about the wing that stood up like a sail. He got called Ragamuffin, because he looked so old and scraggy, the name was too long, so after a while it got shortened to Raggy. A pink Pigeon that trailed its severed broken wing behind on the ground, it was caught in a towel, so was the next bird that was brought around. As it could not fly or hope to hide, or find any food or seeds, it now resides in the Chicken shed on a bale of straw where it sleeps. He is named Winkle now, he cant fly but climbs about has a ramble, I have made him a narrow ladder the rungs from an old broom handle. He can climbs up it, out of the window into the tree on the outside, as the wind blows the branches they sway about, he enjoys his ride. A woman has just brought to me a very large black Carrion Crow, its wing is hanging down now beyond repair broken at the elbow. Examining it he grabbed my fingers with its strong talons wont let go, its beak used to pick dead rabbits from the road, a hole in my hand show. I don't like to see any bird caged up in a small pen and not to be free, but for its own temporary safety it must be, I think you will agree. If I can find the material to make one large enough for him to live, or ask ?For Sale & Items Offered in ED? for an unused free one to give.

I have been waiting for Herbie the hedgehog with some expectation, for him to come out from his pampas grass plant root hibernation. The pampas plant growing in the front garden, I have to state, to get to the back he squeezes flat under the side garden gate. The concrete path there is worn and very uneven for me to walk, so on a fine day I cement repaired it, not giving Herbie a thought, In the evening I went into the back garden with a torch light, the beam showed a strange thing that appeared there in my sight. Herbie was sitting on the grass, surrounded with new baby frogs, Herbie?s spikes were each covered with wet cement knobs. he had borrowed under the gate through the wet cement path, I admit the sight that gave me good cause to have a laugh. If you surprise an animal in the dark, and catch it in the light, it will remain motionless as it is caught there as in fright. Turn off the light and it has gone, just vanished in a flash, search for it for long as you can, wont find where he dashed. I searched for him, and found him hiding behind a flower pot, washed him down with the garden hose, but he did not like a lot. He is cleaned now of cement, but he did look in a sorry state, he wont have to go through it again, I cut the bottom of the gate.

The albino Starling with its other young ones feeding in the garden last summer.

Major Algernon 'Algy' Archibald Percival Cholmondeley-Phipps Wymondham Member of the Drones Club. Just arrived from West Dulwich Forum after a few days. Have you joined Nunhead Forum yet? you will love the small Dog snapping at your heels.

Ann Robinson, Director of Consumer Policy at uSwitch, said the cuts will be devastating to households that rely on the extra help from the Government: "The Government needs to understand that pensioners are already concerned about next winter. "The withdrawal of the extra payments of ?50 for those under 80 and ?100 for those over 80, will hit pensioners hard, especially the large number that are living in fuel poverty. For those of you who are younger you might like to see this as it will be your turn some day. Despite the increasing amount of households struggling to pay their energy bills, the Government is also determined to increase the qualifying age for Winter Fuel Payment from 60 to 66 - with talks of raising it to 75. Answers to the last two posts. I am not able to organise protests, only relay messages already posted elsewhere in News.

Just a little observation of an eighty year old pensioner. As I have only limited movement I use a Zimmer frame and shopping pull a bag on wheels. On my forced calls to the supermarket, I have to bare in mind that I can only buy items to a certain value that my pension allows. This is no problem as I add the items up mentally as I add them to my basket. Many of the cheaper items are on the lowest shelf or the top shelf, so I often ask a likely person if they would please get it for me, that person who you might think is blocking your way could be hesitant to ask for help. The other thing I have to remember is the weight of the items. I like Ginger Ale three for ?1.20, but they are too heavy to take three in one go, so I lose out. Taking longer than a normal shopper it gives time to notice many ways that you can get caught out, have you bought anything marked Two for the price of one? These items might be perishable so to buy two is not economic for me, should I take only one you would assume that you will pay half of that marked price, but no these items are priced in a Bar Code as the price as a pair so as one item is passed through the scanner the full price is charged, it is only if you take the second one that is scanned and priced but deleted as credit, you then have qualified for discount. So you could pay twice the value for just one. This method may be used to pay for the unsalable fruit or vegetables that have to be discarded. I always keep my till receipts, how often do you look at one and think I have not bought that vegetable, the reason is the young cashier does not know what some raw vegetables looks like, as you have filled the bag yourself there is no Bar Code on it, but will she just click up what it could be and it could be a very costly imported fruit. How often have you picked something reduced from the near sell by date or bent tin, only to be charged the full price at the till? My little outing now calls for a cup of tea, so I have one before I leave the Store, get across the car park over the cobbles avoiding stones, unload my bag into the car as it is too heavy to lift, drive home unload the goods into the basket again to take into house then unload again to put away. Now re covering a little, I sit down and open the letter that I picked up on my way in, Dear Mr Zimmerman, a car bearing the number xxxxxxx is registered to you, it was seen parked our Store at xxxx AM and still there at xxxx AM, it is clearly displayed the permitted time allowed to remain parked here, on this occasion we will overlook your using the facilities this time, but any future overstay will be charged or clamped as the condition display. Thank you for your custom. I was going to reply but my car is now 26 years old (only done 70.000 miles from new ) and is due for its MOT if it fails I cant afford to get it repaired if necessary, so I might not be calling back anyway. My increase of 25 pence pension does not even pay for my weekly milk increase of 33 pence. All I need now is Lady Jane come and Squat here while I am out. Bring your boots you can give me a kick.

Grumpies of the World Unite Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home. This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks. They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out. They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education. Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request. Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens. Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls. There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to. The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay ?600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Has anyone else felt the ground vibrate this morning? It started here so very early without any warning. I'm sure I heard a loud wurring noise as well. But went back to sleep, just thinking ?Oh Hell?. Are they tunnelling for the new tube line extension? Is there something in the press, that I did not see mention. Are the rabbits digging their burrows under my home? Or could it be a place to stay for that little Gnome. Could it be a hidden place for parking those Caravans? It would help to keep your road clear of traffic jams. Maybe it will solve the sound of that noisy wurring. If we remember that April Fools day is now occurring.

I have arranged my own and my wife?s Funerals in advance, with the Co-op, as we have no close relatives, I was thoughtful of a funeral falling onto a distant relative to arrange and who not knowing of the local facilities to go to, would cause some worry. Receiving my Co-op Dividend the funerals were not credited, I phoned them up and they apologised for the error and the Dividend would be added to my next, six month statement, this is a one payment credit as I paid in one advance payment, monthly payments Funerals Dividend will be added as time passes. The two Cremation Funerals cost just under ?5.000. This has given me a sense of relief as the person dealing with the basic Funeral is paid for any additions can be added if wanted later. It must be remembered by the person dealing with a un prepaid funeral that no money will be available in advance of the deceased affairs being settled. The account will presented on the immediate conclusion of the Funeral. Due to the Wartime death of my wife?s father he was buried in at "Pauper's funeral" a thing that my wife often refers to. The Cremation of my father was also traumatic, as there were so many of us leaving home for the funeral several of us used our own cars, my car broke down in Brenchley Gardens near One Tree Hill ( petrol had been siphoned out of the tank ), we ran across the Cemetery to the Crematorium just in time to see dads coffin disappear. I have been to a funeral where the Coffin was made of cardboard, but it had to have an unsightly Pallet underneath to keep it from folding up. I respect that there are still Burials, but listening to people talking they seldom or never have visited the Grave, as the memories are too distressing. It could be the fact that the Coffin was floating on water, or the water pump could be seen or heard nearby. I have attended so many funerals of my Army pals that I doubt if any left would be able through old age get to mine. ?Oh well. Last one to go? ?Turn out the light?.

Great news from my State Pension provider " Your Pension will be increased on your Eightieth Birthday by 25 pence per week "

Ratchit up the Shard

These Brick Street Shelters were built in Basano Street, one in Jennings Road just behind the Heber Arms Gardens, two in the Dulwich Library Gardens, the one near the trafic lights facing Vals was later made into a Public Toilet. Underground shelters in Dulwich Park were dug under the field just to the left entering Court Lane Gate, they were entered down a slope with a brick canopy then grassed over. These were the same design as those facing the old Kings Arms at Peckham Rye Trafic Lights, exept that they had a Tarmac cover to stop rain penetration.

This picture shows a shelter ready to use. To use a cellar most of these were situated under the staircase, at the opposite side of the house, so a four story Semi house there would be a chimney stack of eight chimneys in one very large and heavy block towering above the roof, when these were damaged by bombing they would fall to the other side of the house where the staircase was above the cellar, It is well known that a staircase has just two resting points to support the staircase, this is the most volatile place in a house structure, as proved after bombing.

We had one. But we did not get to it when the bomb dropped burying the shelter damaging our house that we were still in. Consisting of fourteen sheets of corrugated iron, the shelter formed a shell 6 feet (1.8m) high, 4? feet (1.4m) wide and 6? feet (2m) long. It was buried to a depth of 4 feet (1.2m) and then covered with at least 15 inches (0.4m) of soil. The Anderson shelter was issued free to all earning less than ?250 a year and at a charge of ?7 for those with higher incomes. Eventually 2 250 000 were erected and, in British fashion, made homely with bunks inside and flowers and vegetables planted in the protective bank of earth.

It came to pass. Extracts from the biographies: Alderman William Brenchley J.P. (1858 ? 1938) William Brenchley was born on 5th June 1858 at 1 Hereford Place, in the registration district of Mile End Old Town, in London?s Docklands... Though from a working class background, William was well educated, literate and trained as a school master. In the 1881 Census he is recorded as a teacher, lodging with the Wilson family in Stoke Newington. However, shortly after this he moved to Camberwell, where he was to remain for the rest of his life, to take the position of Class Master at Bellenden Road School. He lived at 11 Gordon Road, Camberwell, and on 7th October 1882, William married Elizabeth Beckett... In 1891, William succeeded Mr J Tavener as Headmaster of the nearby Dulwich Hamlet School for boys, where he stayed until 1901. William?s log book as Headmaster, which begins on August 24th 1891, is written in his own clear, fluent hand. He describes his constant efforts to improve the school buildings, the curriculum and the pupils? work, noting with pride the excellent comments on the standard of education from the inspectors of the School Board for London. By 1894, the school curriculum covered geography, mechanics, French, algebra, English and science (physical, mechanical, botanical and physiological)... William was also an important and pivotal member of the local community, the President of the East Lambeth National Union of Teachers, and keen to record on 2nd May 1904 that the London County Council had taken over the running of schools and education. At about this time he was also a member of the committee which founded the Nunhead and Dulwich sub-libraries, and the Camberwell School of Arts and Crafts... William?s career outside of education was eventful and illustrious, shaped by an aim to change the social inequalities of the day... For this reason, and as a local resident in an area where the population was expanding rapidly, William Brenchley became aware of the need for a new cemetery. Ordinary people at this time often could not afford expensive funerary costs and were unable to bury their dead in a dignified manner: all that was available to them were unmarked paupers? graves. William was Chairman of the Educational Endowments and Burial Committees, and also Chair of the Cemeteries Sub-Committee, and as such made the decision to establish the Camberwell New Cemetery at Honor Oak, which began at the top of One Tree Hill, and is still in use today... The New Cemetery, a 61 acre site, was opened in 1927, and its chapel, the largest in London, designed by the architects Aston Webb and Sons, was completed in 1928. It was an ambitious project, and a costly one, as the Camberwell Borough Council Minutes for Wednesday October 19th 1932 state that the total expenditure to date on the new cemetery was ?98,880 13/- 6d; the amount spent in the borough on new housing over the same period was nil... Alderman William and Camberwell Borough Council devised a more affordable system for local people by digging graves which could accommodate eight coffins, with space above for eight small headstones. However, these early graves quickly filled with water once dug, as they were positioned at the top of the hill, which was covered in a thick layer of clay. It is said that mourners were often soaked by the splashing of coffins lowered into graves full of water. Then, over time, according to local folklore, the occupants of these higher graves slid down the incline of the hill and were later discovered at the bottom of lower, freshly dug graves... Alderman William achieved his life?s ambition to complete fifty years of service in public life, and his death left a vacancy on the Council in what was then Alleyn (Dulwich) Ward. The Camberwell and Peckham Times remarked that there would be ?nobody to take his place,? whilst The South London Press called him the ?Father of Camberwell Council?. In Alderman William?s honour, the road between the park and the cemetery was also named Brenchley Gardens. ? Amanda Thomas, 2003.

D.J. Thank you for your invitation to try it. I wish I could do just that! Most members are aware of my condition, That I suffer from Cervical Spondylosis the degeneration of the cervical spine in the neck. I wear a neck collar and walk with a Zimmer frame. Just a little of what I have to live with. What is Cervical Spondylosis? The back of the neck includes the cervical spine and the muscles and ligaments that surround and support it. The cervical spine is made up of seven bones called vertebrae. The first two are slightly different to the rest as they attach the spine to the skull and allow the head to turn from side to side. The lower five cervical vertebrae are roughly cylindrical in shape - a bit like small tin cans - with bony projections. The sides of the vertebrae are linked by small facet joints. Between each of the vertebrae is a 'disc'. The discs are made of a tough fibrous outer layer and a softer gel-like inner part. The discs act like 'shock absorbers' and allow the spine to be flexible. Regards I hope you stay fit.

D,J. How so you look over your shoulder wearing a seat belt? This is a strange atatement: The driver 'assumed' there was nothing inside of the car. As was assumed there would have been Children inside the car as she was thought to be on the school run, with several children these hindering her view even if she were a contortionist. If you move away from the curb you will bring into view a cyclist near to the curb. Mind you I am only going by memory of sixty three years driving.

Unfortunately. You have made a public statment I was on a push bike and was behind a car.on impact you had moved forward, Not inside the car, but between the car and the curb, as the next road off to the left is Tintagel Crescent a distance further along after the roundabout, there is a slight curve to the left this alters the vision seen through the rear mirrors giving no sight of anything to the left.

DipDap. I think that you might have typed this message in a confused state. The same as the woman driver who admitted it was her fault meaning that her car had struck you, but you were in a blind spot, even if you were alongside at that moment you would not have been able to see any direction indicator flashing as she now realised that you were undertaking. This is what you wrote with my additions. I was on a push bike and was behind a car. You were behind the car, We both left on the same exit (up Grove Vale) and immediately the car turned left. I was position just inside the car towards the rear You were undertaking and got hit and fell to the ground as the car turned left. I remember hearing several people around during the accident, I was shouting for the car to stop and I'm sure I heard others doing the same but I didn't actually speak to any witnesses so hopefully someone remembers this and can let me know what they saw. The woman could if pressed by you to pay compensation claim from you that you caused damage to her car. Any witness might not be in your favour. Get well soon.