espelli

I have been reading this thread and I think much of my difficulty with the original post and subsequent discussion is how it is framed and who is asking the question. I am assuming (and I am deeply sorry if I am wrong) that the OP successfully fed her child/children past the magic 6 months, so the question comes across as "I have managed to do this so why can't others?" I am sure this is unintentional but it has the effect of making people feel they have to defend their choices and decisions. As Helena Handbasket has pointed out, several women have now posted their stories and they should illustrate how it is not always a decision that is easily taken. I am mixed feeding my baby, he is 14 weeks old. I am currently very happy with the way we are doing things, but it has taken a while for me to accept it. When I was pregnant I had full intention to exclusively breastfeed until 6 months and had even planned to express once I went back to work beyond the 6 months. I had read threads on here about breastfeeding vs formula and of all the difficulties women had had in trying to feed their babies so I was expecting to have problems but could see that there was support out there that others had accessed. I was determined that not a drop of formula would pass my child's lips. Towards the end of my pregnancy I read a comment from someone - I can't remember who - who said something along the lines of after all formula isn't poison. That stuck with me because I realised that in my determination to become a good mother and do my best for my child-to-be I was demonising formula and if formula was so bad then what was I thinking about those women who chose to give it to their children? I am so glad now that I read that because it brought me peace when my baby was born at 32 weeks by emergency cs and spent 3 weeks in hospital. I stayed in hospital all the time he was in SCBU and then in the last week, had him up on the postnatal ward with me. I had been transferred from Kings to Tunbridge Wells as there were no SCBU cots in London, and he was delivered there. I was given wonderful support for breastfeeding from the midwives on the postnatal ward and the nurses in SCBU, I was shown how to express and encouraged every step of the way. Sadly it wasn't enough. Even though I was expressing almost all the time, I wouldn't get enough to feed him. I was prescribed medication to boost my supply but it made no difference. In many ways the amount of support and the number of strategies that were suggested to me made me feel more of a failure when they didn't make a difference. I was desperate to make it work, but whether it was due to the stress I was under, or whether it was expressing that was just something I couldn't do I don't know, but without formula I couldn't feed my baby enough and it broke my heart. Sopiechristophy you have asked a question about an emotive issue, several women have told you of their struggle to feed which took an emotional toll on them and yet you suggest to the very people who are trying to give you an inkling into what those statistics really mean that they may be too emotional to comment. Read these stories - they give you the reasons why women struggle to breastfeed and stop before 6 months, but you somehow sympathise with the individual but do not see that they make up the statistic that you quote. There are women who choose not to breastfeed at all and there are those who try but don't succeed, there are also those lucky ones who breeze through it. In many ways I think the pressure to breastfeed is counter-productive, and perhaps a better way of looking at the issue would be to ask what would have reduced stress around feeding in the early days. I think hellosailor's example of a woman refusing cancer treatment shows that in many ways we have got the balance wrong. Sorry this has been such a long post - it didn't start out as one! But just as a last point, I found the comparison with Rwanda deeply unhelpful in the debate - because if I had been in Rwanda my baby would have been on the wrong side of the infant mortality statistics, along with far too many other babies who if they had had the access to medical care, clean water and affordable formula that we have, may not have died.

Looking forward to the session tomorrow - and am intrigued to find out what Grace did! See you at the cafe!

I also love the wrap slings - I have a kari me which is amazing - very comfy and the tying it does get easier! Worth having a go with it before buying one though.

Hi Louise have PM'd you my details Elli

There is nothing to stop any new school for ED opening as an all-through school with additional places from Year 7 upwards. That way an additional two forms of entry can be created for the immediate primary need in the area by the school opening Reception classes and Year 7 classes in it's first year and growing from there. I don't know the figures for demand on secondary places in this area so I don't know if it would be feasible, but technically it is possible. I would be interested in this from a personal and professional point of view as I live in the educational back hole in Peckham Rye and my son will need a Primary place in 2016 (there's nothing like planning ahead!). I also have experience putting together a bid for a new Free School (Primary) in a different part of SE London. It takes a lot of work (as it should, this is public money and children's life chances) and the team putting together the application should have financial, educational project management and legal skills as a minimum. The school's curriculum, ethos and financial viability are all examined. Our application was over 100 pages long when we submitted it and included two very detailed spreadsheets. However I think simonethebeaver is right, there are bound to be many people in this area with the necessary skills to do this very successfully. To clarify on a previous comment earlier in the thread - the Local Authority may look benignly on a new Free School opening in Southwark but they do not provide support for the application, setting up or running of the school as the school would be independent of LA control but state funded. I hope this helps, I think it's a great idea.

and me!

Hi Louise, Welcome to the area. Have a look at the Winter babies club thread, there is a meet up on Monday mornings at The Gardens cafe. I have an 11w old boy and am happy to meet up in the afternoons if that is easier - I am only just starting to get out and about in the mornings now and found it impossible in the early days! Elli

Congratulations millymoo!!! It's so good to hear that Isabella is doing well. Kit was a fellow SCBU baby. Being home is such a relief from the emotional roller coaster of being in SCBU. Enjoy the unlimited cuddles! Can't wait to meet her and the other new babies - am determined to make a meet up, are people still meeting at the gardens on Monday morning?

What Prickle describes is the same for all local authority schools. To answer your other question, your older child will only get a place if there is a space in their year group - even if your younger child gets a place in Reception. The sibling places usually only apply to children entering the school at Reception who have older siblings already in the school and not for in-year admissions, although the school will run the waiting lists for Year 1 and above so may well give a sibling preference. Children do still move in and out of schools (and it is not as stressful as the Reception application system), it might be worth asking the Head at your child's school what the mobility is and how many places they have or whether they are full in all year groups. This may enable you to make your decision with a bit more information about your particular school. Hope this helps!

They came to a school I used to work in and told us that a famous football player was coming to run the day. The kids were most disappointed that he had been mildly famous in the early eighties and wasn't anyone they had ever heard of. The 50% of the sponsorship money going to the company is a rip off and the event itself is a let down. It's a shame schools are still being conned into taking part. A sponsored beat the goalie that we organised ourselves went down much better and all the sponsorship money went to the school.

It could be a response to this on BBC News. Kingsdale's last inspection judged Teaching as Good which would put them into the group of schools likely to be re-inspected. Kingsdale's Ofsted Report

Congratulations for all the new babies! I have been following the thread and had every intention to make the meet ups with Kit, but I am struggling with getting going in the mornings too so haven't made any of them! I'm up for afternoons though and can do next Wednesday. I'm free other afternoons as well at the moment.

Wow - so many responses! Thank you so much for your recommendations on here and by PM, they are so helpful. I will try and get along to the breastfeeding cafe on Thursday this week and try a few of your suggestions. In my sleep deprived mind I hadn't even considered that they would have examples of pillows at them! Fuschia and Saffron - thank you so much for your kind offers, I have PM'd you. We are getting there with the feeding - I think I am also starting to relax about it a tiny bit which helps! Thank you again for your ideas, this forum is great!

I have been home with the baby for just over a week and my back can't take it anymore! I am tall and my baby is prem and so very small. I have tried using a combination of pillows and cushions but they don't seem to work and I end up either holding him up above the pillow or hunched over. I've tried piling the cushions but it tends to wobble and he ends up slipping into the gap between the pillow and me. Can anyone recommend a firm, stable cushion that lifts the baby up quite high, or does such a thing even exist? Thank you in advance!

Bee I won't be able to make the cinema this week but it sounds like a fab idea if you wanted to go another time. I'm up for a meet up next week though and am flexible on days/times - that is as flexible as baby lets me be! I've lost track of how many babies there are now! Good luck to those yet to come. Pippa I hope your induction goes well! x Elli

So lovely to hear of all the new babies! Congratulations to all! I have been away from here for a while as my 32 week scan showed that espelli Jr wasn't happy where he was and needed to be born. Kings SCBU was full so I was transferred to a hospital near Tunbridge Wells and he was delivered there on 13th Dec. He has done incredibly well and although he weighed just 3lbs 6oz at birth, he is now an impressive 4lbs and we arrived home on Wednesday just 3 weeks after he was born. We are still adjusting to his very early arrival - I was not supposed to start my maternity leave until next Friday and we were midway through a number of DIY projects in the flat which we now need to complete around him - but he is adorable and I'm so pleased to get the extra 8 weeks with him! We haven't ventured out very far yet but if there are any meet ups planned I would be glad to try and make them with the little one! Bee thank you for raising the issue of coping - I really wasn't prepared for how all-consuming, relentless and overwhelming caring for a baby can be - hopefully we can be a good source of support for each other. Looking forward to meeting up again soon. Elli

Congratulations Mothercourage! How exciting - can't wait to hear who is next!

Am running late but will be there! Elli

Hi all, I can make this week too. See you tomorrow! Elli

I'm so sorry I didn't make it last night, Hannah I can't apologise enough that you were on your own. This week is crazy at work with several late nights and I am feeling the strain! Is the next meet up on Thursday at the Actress? All being well I can do that one. Congratulations to all who have had scans, I had mine last week and didn't find out what it was, but all is well. Hope to see everyone next week.

I can't make this evening I'm afraid, but am up for the Gowlett on Tuesday. Sorry to miss you all!

Hello again, I'm really sad to have missed the meet up. Unfortunately some family stuff meant that I had to be out of London unexpectedly. It sounds like you had a great time and I would love to join in on the 27th. Mooncake, I would also be interested in finding out more about a hypnobirthing course. MissMack, making your own sling is such a good idea - will start looking out for some nice fabric! Elli

My midwife told me that they now have 4 pools. 1 permanent and 3 inflatable. She said that she has never known them all to be in use at the same time but that there was no guarantee as it was first come first served.

That's so good MissM! Thank you for doing it. I wonder if any of us will end up having babies on the same day?! Thank you for the explanation mikandnik - it was a question I really should have asked this morning but it went out of my head (along with a lot of other things these days!)

Can I ask a question about due dates...? Going by my dates I am due on 28th Jan. I was monitoring this and am definite about them. At my scan they gave me a new date of 3rd Feb. Which one is really more likely? or does it not matter as it won't happen on either of those days anyway? I don't really trust the scan date and am more inclined to go with the original date. Is that silly? Maybe I'm over-thinking it but I'd appreciate your thoughts!