Dudley

Dear Reren, I have a 13 month old and am still breastfeeding her after exclusively feeding her for the first 6 months. My advice is that breastfeeding is very, very demanding on Mum especially in the beginning but it is worth it. Mine feed for what felt like all evening. I remember just lying on the coach and with her beside me and her feeding on and off while watching TV. They will cluster feed at this time. From what I have read this is because your milk is lower in the evening but remember the more you feed the more milk should be produced. You probably do feel like a dairy cow but remember your little one is only 3 weeks old and he will not only want to feed but also wants to be as close as possible to his favourite person in the whole world - his Mum. And what better way than feeding. I don't know if you are co-sleeping but (and I know there are different views on this) my advice is that if you are breast feeding one of the benefits is that you don't have to get out of your bed at night to feed. So try to co-sleep or have him very close to you. Other things I can think of is, although I never gave formula or even expressed (there are no bottles in the house), if you are finding it really hard I don't think there is any problem in giving some milk you have expressed in the morning to baby in the evening. (or formula - 1 bottle a day I am sure won't make a difference) I know people who have done this and it might give you a little break. Also during the day I can't tell from your post if he is a 'crying when he is put down baby'- so then you feed him. If he is doing this (mine did in the early days) my advice is to get a sling/baby carrier. He probably just wants to be close to you. If you carry him around in your sling you should notice he cries and wants to be feed a little less during the day. It might also allow you to do a few things around the house or go for a light walk or just sit down for a well earned cup of tea. If you can I do recommend reading a Sears baby book esp as you are breastfeeding. They can be helpful. Finally as I said - it is worth it but it is hard. This phase will pass very quickly and try not to put yourself under too much pressure. I always think there is so much pressure on new Mums these days. This is time for you and your baby to connect and feel secure. That does not mean sacrificing your own well being. But just take it easy at home and let friends and family do things for you and not the other way around. Good luck!

I, for one, am absolutely disgusted that child benefit is being cut. First, it punishes single mothers and those who have a stay at home parent. It is an outrage that a single mother who works (and has to pay huge child care fees) who earns over ?44,000 loses her child benefit, as does a family where one parent works and earns over ?44,000 but has another parent who stays at home. Meanwhile a family where both parents work and earn just under ?44,000 each taking home ?88,000 keeps the child benefit. This is unacceptable. The standard argument is - we should not give child benefit to millionaires. But why is the govt cutting it off at ?44,000- this is a long way from the millionaire line. And as everyone who lives in London knows, even if you do earn over ?44,000 that does not mean you have bundles of cash hiding under the floorboards. It is very expensive to raise even a small family in London. I consider myself middle class and I do not apologise for it. I am sick to death of middle class families being criticised as 'pushy' for simply wanting to send their child to a school where they don't get stabbed. This is another attack on middle class families and remember we are the ones who fund the welfare state. The very wealthy can afford to avoid any serious tax liabilities, and it is right that those on very low incomes should not pay tax. But that leaves the middle class to try and keep the ship afloat. Anyway this is the latest in a long line of attacks on the middles class. But leaving this aside, what all families should remember (single parent, stay at home Mom, or both working) is that child benefit is more than just hard cash. It is a message from the state to families that says; we value you; we value the job your are doing; and we recognise that you are producing the future tax payers, pension contributers of the future. Here is a little something to help you out. This should apply to all families; lower income, middle income and all these so-called millionaires. I did not object to child trust funds being abolished- they were new and not very sensible. But child benefit has been around since the 40's. Not even Thatcher dared touch it. I am conservative by nature but I am very glad I did not vote for them. Nor will I be doing so in the future.

Hi there, My daughter is coming up to her big 1st birthday and we are continuing with her baby led weaning. The only major con I would say about it is that it can be very messy esp in the beginning. Unlike the previous posts I made the mistake of buying an expensive high chair - a cheaper option def would have been easier to clean. You will need to put something under it. I have taken to putting newspaper under it as I can through them straight out! Other than that though I would def say it is worth it!! Even for people who are doing purees I think it is a good idea to even let babies touch and feel a new food every time they eat. Babies love copying what you do, and touching and feeling things, so it is exactly the same with food. And long term I hope it helps us avoid any food issues. Tonight for instance after her spag bol Annabelle insisted on having an apple (that was on the table in fruit bowl) for desert so she had it. We could not give her lettuce at the beginning because we were worried she would choke on it but now she demands it if we are having it. I think any 'method' that gets a baby demanding lettuce to eat must be a good one! Like above, we have porridge with yoghurt (loaded spoon), lots of things on toast (banana, avocado, egg). Anything really. In the beginning though you may find that your baby does not eat that much. But do not worry! Babies will make sure they eat enough and they do not know that food fills them up for a while. Overall try to not the force your baby to eat anything. Last week Annabelle ate little but she is eating lots this week so it just shows not to force food on babies. A word on choking though- I was worried about this (and grandparents esp) but it is very, very rare. Annabelle did cough a few times, but just watch your baby in the beginning and never leave her alone. Oh and if you are giving her more 'adult' food be careful of added salt. Lots of it in any prepared sauce (we have had to stop using this) and baked beans, cheese, anything smoked and stocks! I would recommend the book though - I am sure you can get it second hand on Amazon. Baby-led Weaning. Gill Rapley, Tracey Murkett. Oh and one last thing. BLW is about food but it is also about the way food is eaten. Giving purees to babies usually means they are feed separately. BLW babies are usually feed with the family around the table. Of course this is not always possible and can sometimes be stressful but that is what the book recommends anyway (and one of the main reasons we did it). I always try to talk to Annabelle as I am eating with her and although I never get an answer and sometimes end up with food in my hair I am hoping it will be worth it in the end! Good luck!

Dear Mums, Thanks for replying! There are about 6 of us, so I am going to make a proposal. I have had some private posts too. How about Tues 20 April at 2 pm in The Plough. That should give us some space. That is 5 weeks from now so hopefully we can all get a book read by then! Book wise I was thinking The Outcast by Sadie Jones. This should be easy enough to pick up second hand from Amazon or the library. The main thing is that it is a informal book club for Mums and that we don't have to worry if the little ones are feeding, playing or crying while with us! The Plough should be fine for the little ones to have a little play. Eventually if things go well and we are still able for it we can always go to the park during the good weather. This should be better for the older ones. Let me know if this suits you? Best, Laura

Dear all, I am thinking of starting a book club for parents who have babies. I have done a quick search on the forum and there are a few book clubs in the area - Green and Black and I know the WI has one but from what I could tell they all take place in the evening after 7pm. Because of my little one late evening is not that suitable and I was wondering if anyone else was in a similar position. I really love reading and discussing books and I would love to discuss them with other Mum's (or Dads!) I am thinking of having a meeting once a month, on a week day at around 2 or 3pm somewhere on Lordship Lane (with babies)! I can also host in my house now and again. If a book club like this already exists please let me know! If not and anyone was interested in joining me, let me know. Best, Laura.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I will do a little bit of both BLW and puree. She is pretty 'grabby' even now so I am hopeful! Laura

Hi all, I have a 5 month old daughter so I am preparing to wean her in month. I bought a book on baby-led weaning (by accident!) and I am thinking of using this method to wean her. I exclusively breast-feed and co-sleep. I would appreciate any advice on BLW, if people found it helpful/unhelpful. Laura Perrins